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[It's not something anyone could deal with well, honestly. For all the support Hiroto is giving, it's something he would feel similarly to if it were Reina who said she needed time. He'd put on the same brave face, give the same smiles, lock himself in his room and let himself mourn his pending failure in private. But Reina had been the one to confess to him, and he had already loved her. There was no reason to think it over when it had been them. With Midorikawa and Kazemaru, they didn't have the history of growing up together. Maybe that's why Haruya and Fuusuke were able to decide. Maybe that's why Fumiko laughed when Izuno shouted through the halls that she'd said yes. They'd all grown up together...they'd all realized their feelings long before fate would let them speak it.
Midorikawa didn't have that. Kazemaru was Raimon, and while their relationship was strong, they didn't have that same history.
His fingers grip tighter into the cloth on his friend's back, thinking this over as the boy speaks. Advice doesn't really come into play here, really. Midorikawa was just wanting someone to listen, and that's what Hiroto would do.]
You'll get it.
[That's one thing he's sure of, pulling Midorikawa away from him just enough so that he and brush the tears from his eyes. His voice is soft, almost a whisper, but strong, his smile piercing the darkness that Midorikawa had shrouded himself in.]
There is no one more worthy of love than you, Ryuuji.
We all love you in a different way than the one you're seeking, but use it to keep yourself warm until you find it. It'll come.
It just takes time. Hold out until then for us, alright? We want to hear about all the dates you go on.
(that was a factor he should've taken into account when confessing, he realizes in hindsight. kazemaru didn't have that stability and bond midorikawa had spent years nurturing with his siblings. kazemaru was a friend, and not even from school. they'd only spent a handful of months together, growing and training for ffi. it was only by midorikawa's persistence to pursue a friendship that they remained in contact at all.
and it wasn't long before he came to understand he wanted to pursue something so much more than that. that kazemaru was more a part of his heart than ever before.
hiroto is more of a comfort than he knows, gentle with midorikawa's fragile heart and holding the pieces of him together as he repairs it. there are sniffles on his end, trying to keep himself together as he scrubs the tears off his face. the words are a comfort, but not enough to relieve the stinging words kazemaru gave him earlier. even if only meant to allow him to process this, midorikawa still feels the raw emotional pain from it.) I-I know you do. I'm um. I'm gonna need that love for a while. Really badly.
[That request gets a small laugh out of Hiroto. Not because he'd be denied it--quite the opposite--but because it was something that could have very well gone unsaid. Midorikawa was one of them, and ever since the fall of Aliea they'd stuck together through better or worse, and it was probably the reason why everyone in Sun Garden would now give a wary glance to any boy sporting a blue ponytail that passed by.
He knew Midorikawa loved that boy more than anyone. They shared secrets, they shared dreams, and Hiroto had been the first one told when Midorikawa had said he wanted to confess. He knew this would work out somehow, even if the answer isn't clear for the moment. After all, the stars still shine when clouds cover them up, don't they? You just have to try and wait a few nights to see them again.]
You've always had it, Ryuuji.
We're all right here for you, and we always will be.
[His thumbs reach up to brush the tears from his friends face, smiling as gently and warmly as he can.]
Do you want to see if there's some sweets left over from dinner we can have? I've heard sweets help.
(he knows deep in his heart of hearts, he wouldn't be able to make it through this without hiroto's warmth, his gentility, compassion. the others could do their best, that's for certain, but there are some wounds only a best friend is capable of healing. broken bits of self tend to fall into that category.
his heart still aches, however, and the thought that hiroto won't be able to truly help heal it. with so many instances of him proving he isn't worthy of the love of those around him, it's a challenge to think that kazemaru would actually reciprocate the feelings. it's becoming ever more cemented in his mind that he and kazemaru stay the way they always have.
friends.
there's a few remaining hiccups as he tries to calm himself down, move on from tears and runny noses.) Thanks. Thank you for everything, Hiroto.
(an offer to cut loose finally enters, and it's so tempting to cave into that, just wallow in his misery for a bit longer with his one source of comfort. he... deserves that much at least, doesn't he?) Um... if Reina won't get mad, I'd like that.
[Another one of his soft, musing hums, as his hands squeeze at his shoulders just slightly in both acknowledgement and gratitude.] You've always been there for me, it's only natural I'd do the same for you.
[Hiroto smiles at Ryuuji's soft acceptance, smiling warmly.]
She knows you're upset, and I think Kimiyuki and Ruru left half of their dessert to you anyway. They've been worried...
[To which he moves one hand down to reach for Midorikawa's own, cupping it firmly in his own, slightly colder hand as he starts to gently pull him towards the door. Outside this room where he couldn't drown in his own loneliness. There was a house full of children that loved him, and Hiroto would make sure that until Kazemaru gave him a proper answer, he'd make sure Midorikawa knew he was loved.]
(it's hard to prevent another onset of unwanted emotions, guilt for worrying his over caring siblings so much, and just the tiniest bit of shame at everyone going out of their way to comfort and ease his pain even just a little. it wasn't even a rejection, and he's causing all this trouble for everyone.
once he's in a better state of mind, midorikawa is most assuredly going to give his family a proper thank you for all they've done for him, hiroto especially.
it's slowly at first, a little nervous to face his family after this. but the longer he wallows in his own self pity, the worse this will be for him in the long run. and really, a few hugs would do him some good right about now, anyway.
there's a sheepish smile at he keeps close to his friend, already mentally preparing him for the swarm of hugs and concerned questions he'll no doubt get.) They really saved some for me? They're always the ones asking for seconds.
[Earth has a saying: The people who matter don't mind, and the people who mind don't matter. While definitely harsher than something Hiroto would ever speak out loud, the meaning of the phrase rings mostly true. No one at Sun Garden did anything that was 'trouble' for them. Everything they did was with every ounce of love and care of their hearts. And to them, Midorikawa needed more than usual. Hiroto was always the driving force behind their enthusiasm. His caring nature often made him the leader everyone followed because they wanted to, not because they had to.
And with the way Hiroto's looking at him, he can only hope that Midorikawa gets that feeling too. That he's not trouble--he's just in need of some help.
That's what made them strong in the first place--looking out for each other.]
They did. They said that...[He laughs a little, turning so that he can continue this conversation as they continued down the hall.] 'We ask for seconds anyway, so he can have the first.'
No one can really fault that logic, right?
[His hand gives his friend's a little squeeze, his voice nothing more than its natural whisper.]
They insisted, when I considered saving mine. [Which he did anyway.] So...I snuck mine away too, so we could eat it together.
[Because eating food WITH someone is always better than one person alone.]
(while it may not seem like his siblings are giving up much for midorikawa, he's more grateful than he can say for them willing to sacrifice their special treats for him, all so he won't feel as alone as before. it warms his heart, almost enough to heal the ache of the day's mishaps. he knew, even despite kazemaru's lack of answer, that at least here he was loved. here was his family who would walk through fire and ice for him, and that's something he'll never let himself forget.
his mood lifts considerably, leaning on hiroto both for emotional and physical support and never more relieved than now that this is his best friend, the one who stands by him through thick and thin.
there's a soft laugh at hearing kimiyuki and ruru twist logic to work in a way that benefits midorikawa the most.
hearing hiroto did the same, well, that earns a small, grateful smile from midorikawa.) We're gonna get stomachaches if we eat that much dessert.
[Hiroto can see his attitude shift, the weight on his shoulders lessened a little as they make their way to the kitchen. It was a much better look on him--more of the Midorikawa he'd grown to love so much, and it eased his heart to know that this was fixable.
No matter what Kazemaru's answer, Midorikawa would be fine. They were all here for him, and he knew Kazemaru would be there too, for better or worse.
There's really nothing Midorikawa ever has to worry about...]
Mmm. You're right.
Should we save some for later, then?
[He opens the fridge, displaying three little puddings that Reina had made sitting there.]
(with how hard everyone around him was trying to lift his spirits, he found himself less forcing a smile, and his usual smile gradually returning. naturally. sure, the ache and pain was still certainly there. and it most likely would be for a while. as much as midorikawa wished to force it down and ignore it, that would only raise more concerns among his family.
and when he has such a kind and selfless family willing to set so much aside for him, he knew being honest with them and his feelings is what would help all of them get through this trial, despite it mainly being midorikawa’s. but that was the blessing about family. none of it was his burden alone to bear. They would help with the weight of it.
and with the comfort food.
his eyes alone light up at the sight of it, all of the pudding saved for him, and even just for a moment, he forgets the ache in his heart in light of something truly beautiful in front of him. pudding.
midorikawa grants hiroto the brightest smile he can muster for right now, an enthusiastic nod as he searches for the spoons.) Maybe as a late night snack. I’ve gotta remember to thank all of them for this.
Mm. I'll go with you when you do. [Because while he knows just seeing Midorikawa's smile would be thanks enough, he wants to thank them as well for helping him pull his best friend out of this hole he'd fallen into. All their hard work made this happen, and Midorikawa now knew a fraction of the love they all had for him, after years of feeling inadequate underneath it all.
But that wasn't important now. Pudding was the priority, and with Midorikawa securing the spoons, he balances the plates on his hands to bring them to the table, setting them down with almost no point of shakiness. Decorated on Midorikawa's plate are a few gumdrops and candies that the kids had somehow dug up and tossed on there, along with some whipped cream in the shape of his ponytail flowing off the top.
Kimiyuki's idea. He was the secret artist of the two.]
...
[Moments like these...they were more healing than the strongest of medicines.]
Have you been practicing soccer lately?
[A nice change of topic could help, and one they mutually could blather on for hours, too. It was often busy at Sun Garden lately, with school and exams and Hitomiko needing all the help she could get in running the place.]
(hiroto’s words earn a more than grateful smile from midorikawa, for the constant support, attention, the reassurance of how valued he is. from his best friend and all his siblings, despite still being in the emotional rut he’s in, he can’t help but see a light at the end of this dismal tunnel.
and that light is in the shape of pudding with candies and whipped cream, all for him. he can feel his mouth beginning to water at the sight, and there’s a million questions of how exactly everyone managed to bring all of this together. where did they even find the candy? most of the siblings have that under lock and key and hidden tightly away. the fact that they tried so hard for him… pulled out their secret stashes for him.
he holds his plate of dessert like it’s something valuable and precious, a treasure set aside just for him as he gazes with side, starry eyes. he vaguely nods back in response to hiroto’s question, too taken in with his special treat.) Uh… yeah. Saginuma’s been training with me.
[It was that little glint in Midorikawa's eyes that made it all worth it. Something Hiroto would bear witness to and keep to himself, lest saying anything would remove it from those eyes for even a moment. The candy atop his best friend's pudding was a bit of a surprise as well. Seems that the two young ones kept a stash away from the older siblings--mainly out of self preservation as they knew their arms could not reach the tops of the tables to sneak snacks like Haruya could. For only going on ages 8-9, they were certainly smarter than the others gave them credit for.
It was worth it for Ryuuji. That was always the one thing everyone agreed on.]
Is that so? Goalie, or Forward?
[As he hands him a spoon, making his way to sit down at the table in the kitchen.]
(having a simple distraction like this, casually talking about soccer and their family and practice. easy, low effort conversation on a slow road to begin repairing his heart. it was a welcome gesture, to be sure, and already the pain he felt in his chest earlier has become nothing but a dull ache now in the face of pudding piled with candy and a pleasant chat about soccer.
this, he could do. he’s already got a spoonful of dessert in his mouth before they even sit down, nodding along to show he’s still paying attention to what’s being said despite being so taken with his treat. midorikawa does answer after a few bites, a brighter smile on his face as he downs his dessert.) Forward. He’s been helping me work on Lightning Accel, but I still can’t get past Wormhole…
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no subject
Midorikawa didn't have that. Kazemaru was Raimon, and while their relationship was strong, they didn't have that same history.
His fingers grip tighter into the cloth on his friend's back, thinking this over as the boy speaks. Advice doesn't really come into play here, really. Midorikawa was just wanting someone to listen, and that's what Hiroto would do.]
You'll get it.
[That's one thing he's sure of, pulling Midorikawa away from him just enough so that he and brush the tears from his eyes. His voice is soft, almost a whisper, but strong, his smile piercing the darkness that Midorikawa had shrouded himself in.]
There is no one more worthy of love than you, Ryuuji.
We all love you in a different way than the one you're seeking, but use it to keep yourself warm until you find it. It'll come.
It just takes time. Hold out until then for us, alright? We want to hear about all the dates you go on.
no subject
and it wasn't long before he came to understand he wanted to pursue something so much more than that. that kazemaru was more a part of his heart than ever before.
hiroto is more of a comfort than he knows, gentle with midorikawa's fragile heart and holding the pieces of him together as he repairs it. there are sniffles on his end, trying to keep himself together as he scrubs the tears off his face. the words are a comfort, but not enough to relieve the stinging words kazemaru gave him earlier. even if only meant to allow him to process this, midorikawa still feels the raw emotional pain from it.) I-I know you do. I'm um. I'm gonna need that love for a while. Really badly.
Just until I can get back on my feet.
no subject
He knew Midorikawa loved that boy more than anyone. They shared secrets, they shared dreams, and Hiroto had been the first one told when Midorikawa had said he wanted to confess. He knew this would work out somehow, even if the answer isn't clear for the moment. After all, the stars still shine when clouds cover them up, don't they? You just have to try and wait a few nights to see them again.]
You've always had it, Ryuuji.
We're all right here for you, and we always will be.
[His thumbs reach up to brush the tears from his friends face, smiling as gently and warmly as he can.]
Do you want to see if there's some sweets left over from dinner we can have? I've heard sweets help.
no subject
his heart still aches, however, and the thought that hiroto won't be able to truly help heal it. with so many instances of him proving he isn't worthy of the love of those around him, it's a challenge to think that kazemaru would actually reciprocate the feelings. it's becoming ever more cemented in his mind that he and kazemaru stay the way they always have.
friends.
there's a few remaining hiccups as he tries to calm himself down, move on from tears and runny noses.) Thanks. Thank you for everything, Hiroto.
(an offer to cut loose finally enters, and it's so tempting to cave into that, just wallow in his misery for a bit longer with his one source of comfort. he... deserves that much at least, doesn't he?) Um... if Reina won't get mad, I'd like that.
no subject
[Another one of his soft, musing hums, as his hands squeeze at his shoulders just slightly in both acknowledgement and gratitude.] You've always been there for me, it's only natural I'd do the same for you.
[Hiroto smiles at Ryuuji's soft acceptance, smiling warmly.]
She knows you're upset, and I think Kimiyuki and Ruru left half of their dessert to you anyway. They've been worried...
[To which he moves one hand down to reach for Midorikawa's own, cupping it firmly in his own, slightly colder hand as he starts to gently pull him towards the door. Outside this room where he couldn't drown in his own loneliness. There was a house full of children that loved him, and Hiroto would make sure that until Kazemaru gave him a proper answer, he'd make sure Midorikawa knew he was loved.]
Let's go.
no subject
once he's in a better state of mind, midorikawa is most assuredly going to give his family a proper thank you for all they've done for him, hiroto especially.
it's slowly at first, a little nervous to face his family after this. but the longer he wallows in his own self pity, the worse this will be for him in the long run. and really, a few hugs would do him some good right about now, anyway.
there's a sheepish smile at he keeps close to his friend, already mentally preparing him for the swarm of hugs and concerned questions he'll no doubt get.) They really saved some for me? They're always the ones asking for seconds.
no subject
And with the way Hiroto's looking at him, he can only hope that Midorikawa gets that feeling too. That he's not trouble--he's just in need of some help.
That's what made them strong in the first place--looking out for each other.]
They did. They said that...[He laughs a little, turning so that he can continue this conversation as they continued down the hall.] 'We ask for seconds anyway, so he can have the first.'
No one can really fault that logic, right?
[His hand gives his friend's a little squeeze, his voice nothing more than its natural whisper.]
They insisted, when I considered saving mine. [Which he did anyway.] So...I snuck mine away too, so we could eat it together.
[Because eating food WITH someone is always better than one person alone.]
no subject
his mood lifts considerably, leaning on hiroto both for emotional and physical support and never more relieved than now that this is his best friend, the one who stands by him through thick and thin.
there's a soft laugh at hearing kimiyuki and ruru twist logic to work in a way that benefits midorikawa the most.
hearing hiroto did the same, well, that earns a small, grateful smile from midorikawa.) We're gonna get stomachaches if we eat that much dessert.
no subject
No matter what Kazemaru's answer, Midorikawa would be fine. They were all here for him, and he knew Kazemaru would be there too, for better or worse.
There's really nothing Midorikawa ever has to worry about...]
Mmm. You're right.
Should we save some for later, then?
[He opens the fridge, displaying three little puddings that Reina had made sitting there.]
no subject
and when he has such a kind and selfless family willing to set so much aside for him, he knew being honest with them and his feelings is what would help all of them get through this trial, despite it mainly being midorikawa’s. but that was the blessing about family. none of it was his burden alone to bear. They would help with the weight of it.
and with the comfort food.
his eyes alone light up at the sight of it, all of the pudding saved for him, and even just for a moment, he forgets the ache in his heart in light of something truly beautiful in front of him. pudding.
midorikawa grants hiroto the brightest smile he can muster for right now, an enthusiastic nod as he searches for the spoons.) Maybe as a late night snack. I’ve gotta remember to thank all of them for this.
no subject
But that wasn't important now. Pudding was the priority, and with Midorikawa securing the spoons, he balances the plates on his hands to bring them to the table, setting them down with almost no point of shakiness. Decorated on Midorikawa's plate are a few gumdrops and candies that the kids had somehow dug up and tossed on there, along with some whipped cream in the shape of his ponytail flowing off the top.
Kimiyuki's idea. He was the secret artist of the two.]
...
[Moments like these...they were more healing than the strongest of medicines.]
Have you been practicing soccer lately?
[A nice change of topic could help, and one they mutually could blather on for hours, too. It was often busy at Sun Garden lately, with school and exams and Hitomiko needing all the help she could get in running the place.]
no subject
and that light is in the shape of pudding with candies and whipped cream, all for him. he can feel his mouth beginning to water at the sight, and there’s a million questions of how exactly everyone managed to bring all of this together. where did they even find the candy? most of the siblings have that under lock and key and hidden tightly away. the fact that they tried so hard for him… pulled out their secret stashes for him.
he holds his plate of dessert like it’s something valuable and precious, a treasure set aside just for him as he gazes with side, starry eyes. he vaguely nods back in response to hiroto’s question, too taken in with his special treat.) Uh… yeah. Saginuma’s been training with me.
no subject
It was worth it for Ryuuji. That was always the one thing everyone agreed on.]
Is that so? Goalie, or Forward?
[As he hands him a spoon, making his way to sit down at the table in the kitchen.]
no subject
this, he could do. he’s already got a spoonful of dessert in his mouth before they even sit down, nodding along to show he’s still paying attention to what’s being said despite being so taken with his treat. midorikawa does answer after a few bites, a brighter smile on his face as he downs his dessert.) Forward. He’s been helping me work on Lightning Accel, but I still can’t get past Wormhole…