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[Tsurugi couldn't help but feel the same. Whatever weight the end of Shindou's third year had on his heart was quickly unshackled, much like he'd felt when he'd been able to play soccer for himself. It was so strange, knowing that feeling was once foreign.
Now it's like an old friend coming back and lifting him up when he fell.
If Shindou wanted him to go to high school with him, he'd make it happen. That was all there was to it in his mind. He'd study, he'd bring up his test scores (not that they were all that bad), he'd find a way.]
No one will be surprised at it.
[His arms pull Shindou close once more, hand looking for the other boy's to lace their fingers together. It was amazing how soft Shindou's hands were, right down to the fingertips. Such a difference from his own calloused ones, worn down from Seed training and general lack-of-care.]
[And Shindou sinks readily into those arms, his hand fitting into Tsurugi's like it always belonged there. They lock together like two pieces of a jigsaw puzzle, Tsurugi's rough, calloused skin brushing up against his own. He's happy to weave his fingers through the other boy's, squeezing gently.]
That's right. I don't want us to be apart for long.
[There's something validating about hearing those words. He knew them, he objectively knew them. But to hear them in Shindou's voice, tone as warm as the brown colour of his hair, it strikes him right at his heart, cutting deeper into it in the best possible way.]
I'll make sure of it.
[This would be the perfect moment to break away, to go lie down somewhere together...but his eyes snap wide open at the soft snicker he hears under one of the blankets.]
[Shindou doesn't move. Not immediately. There's still a chance that Tsurugi misheard, or the sound came from someone who's talking in their sleep. That's it. That's totally feasible. No, that's got to be it, because even if he isn't ashamed of this relationship with Tsurugi -- not at all -- he would die if the team got wind of it and they started teasing them.
He speaks in a hushed voice muffled further by Tsurugi's shirt.]
[Tsurugi doesn't answer at first, but his hand moves around Shindou instinctively, looping around his shoulderblades and positioning his chin just over the boy's shoulder. He knew damn well Tenma was probably listening in, or at least had just started to.
But his comment had certainly gotten the boy's attention, and he knows the last thing Tenma would want is to upset their senpai.]
Mmm. Maybe I was just hearing things.
[A soft merciful warning to Matsukaze, if there ever was one.]
We should probably find somewhere more private, just in case.
[He's not ready to let go of Shindou just yet, despite how he can feel the edges of sleepiness creeping in.]
[His heart is pounding, once again, but this time for a different reason. It feels like back when he was younger, out playing with Kirino, and they came home later than they were supposed to. He'd gotten his white shirt dirty after they fell in a puddle chasing a soccer ball, and it'd been a trip trying to get to his room and change without getting caught by the head maid. To think he'll experience this feeling again...
The fingers of his free hand find the fabric of Tsurugi's shirt, curling around the material as he quiets his breathing and tries to listen for any more of the noise the other said he picked up. Any uneven breathing. Any voices.
He nuzzles into his shoulder again.] My room is down the hall...?
[Tsurugi's heart had skipped a couple beats as well, as if he'd gotten caught sneaking to the kitchen at night, or trying to tell Yuuichi he'd broken something of their mother's. His grip was not unlike Yuuichi's in those moments, arm around Shindou protectively, hand gripping gently but firmly against his back.
His feet take a step towards the hallway, turning them both so they can walk, but still keeping an eye on that sleeping bag.
Matsukaze Tenma, you're granted a freebie this time.]
Lead the way. It'll be nice to lie down and relax, anyway.
[Perhaps it's Shindou's ability to "see" and be aware of the field around him at all times. Or perhaps it's just the incredible amount of trust he had in Tsurugi. Probably a mix of both that allow him to walk alongside Tsurugi in the darkness of the room without either of them tripping over anything left on the floor, any stray limbs of their sleeping teammates, or even each other's feet. They make it to the hallway without a tumble.
From there, the trip to his room will be uninterrupted. Even the servants were asleep at this hour, especially during holidays if they stayed at all -- he knew his father allowed many of them to travel home for their own families -- so they wouldn't be caught. His own arm stays snaked around Tsurugi's back, holding on.]
It's this way.
[A door at the end of the hallway. Beyond it is a spacious room decorated in soft blue hues, though it's difficult to see with the lights off. Shindou keeps them that way, leading Tsurugi to the opposite side of the room where the bed is.]
[Tsurugi follows Shindou's instruction, much like he did on the field. Not just because this was his house, but because of his sharp eyes and strategic mind on the field that it became so natural to follow him. That arm slips around his back, and his hand grips more securely onto his shoulder in turn.
It doesn't take long for his eyes to adjust from the dark away from the TV, quickly finding the room at the end of the hall that Shindou was leading him to. Were this anything other than getting away from Matsukaze Tenma's little antics, he might have had nervous apprehensions about being in his boyfriends room. Alone.
But right now, that's all he wants. Somewhere away from the world and everyone just to sink into the one he and Shindou had made. Where it's just them. The room was spacious, inviting, with a piano in the corner and a couch to accompany it on one side, while the bed lay on the other. Following Shindou's direction, he heads for the bed, nestling his head against the boy's soft hair as they walk, unable to hide his smile.
This year was off to a good start, he can't help but muse.]
[In the silence of the hallway and his room, without the background noise of the television and the others to fill it, he's very aware of the little sounds they make as they move. Tsurugi's breathing, his own breathing, the swish of cloth as their clothes brush against each other, and the soft sound of their footsteps. They are truly by themselves now, and the space that they share is their own world, for them to share with nobody else.
Just them. Just Tsurugi's arms around him, just the press of his head on top of his, just his own snaked around him. Just them.
They both agreed that they would be busy with their rowdy teammates around, but if every moment by themselves could be like this, it would certainly be something well worth looking forward to. He smiles as well, turning now to bury his face into the front of Tsurugi's shirt.]
Thank you. We'll stay close together.
[The bed is definitely big enough for them both, at least. It's big enough for at least two more of them. The sheets are fresh and clean and soft, the blanket they crawl under just heavy enough to cocoon them comfortably in its warmth.]
[It was then that Tsurugi got to experience the one thing he'd never really thought about when it came to dating Shindou. A small, almost minuscule detail that went unnoticed until he experienced it right then, pulling Shindou close to his chest and sinking into the mattress of the bed provide.
Rich people have really soft, really comfortable beds.
His eyes widen as the cloth wraps around his back, letting them both sink into the blankets and pillows, the temptation of just falling asleep right there starting to creep into his body and soul. But Shindou on top of him provides a nicer distraction, nuzzling into that hair and wrapping his arms around the boy's body.
Soaking in that this was his now. That Tsurugi Kyousuke could have things like this. And WOULD have things like this.
He had no intentions of leaving this after middle school, after all. Not anymore.]
[Unaware of Tsurugi's sudden epiphany about the complimentary comfort that comes with dating someone from the Shindou family, the son of that family himself is snuggling readily under the covers and into his boyfriend's chest, happy to be enveloped by those strong arms and feel him nuzzling into his hair. His own arms snake around him, and soon they're lying on the bed tangled with each other. Despite the cold of the world outside, the bed is nothing but warm.]
[It's easier to sink into than he ever thought--both the mattress and Shindou's embrace. If you'd told him he'd be lying in this bed, arms securely around another boy...he'd have laughed on a good day, glared daggers on a bad one. But now it's all he can ask for, feeling Shindou's breath against his clothes, the softness of his hair, the smell of his shampoo as he buries his face into it...
Shindou could not have said it better.]
Yeah.
[His voice is gentle, almost a whisper, as his body instinctively settles into the mattress.]
[Any other day, comments implying that he is short (though he is shorter than Tsurugi) would've gotten about a minute of silence from Shindou, but today he feels merciful. He's warm, he's in his boyfriend's arms, and he's sure that if he tried to stay quiet for a whole minute right now he'd just fall asleep. His own voice is a murmur, a low hum, as he listens to Tsurugi's heart beat, feels his chest rise and fall with his breath.]
[He had to get a comment in there somewhere. As affectionate as it was, he loved the fact that he was taller than Shindou. It meant he got to feel his face press into his chest like this. He got to wrap his arms around him.
He got to watch Shindou's face relax into a peaceful smile as they lie there in the dark, letting sleep slowly take them. And the way Shindou whispers his name, as if it were a secret to just them in the darkness of his room...]
I'm happy, too. Strange...I thought I wasn't allowed to be, with everything that's happened in my life. But soccer has returned, my brother's getting therapy...
[To find security and comfort in the warmth of another and the wrap of them arms... that was not something Shindou experienced too often. Before he got into this relationship with Tsurugi, it had been a few years since he received it from even his parents.
No. That was inaccurate. It had been a few years since he sought it from his parents, let alone anybody else. He will eventually take over the Shindou business. He will eventually be the head of the family. As the "young master" of the house, as the guide and captain of Raimon Soccer, with so much expectation from those around him, he'd squared his shoulders to withstand the weight and convinced himself that he didn't feel any of it. If he sought comfort then, he was afraid he'd crumble.
Accepting Tsurugi's comfort like this did not make him crumble. In fact, it made him feel lighter, more secure. Stronger. When he hears him call his name, feels his chest rumble with that soft, deep voice, when he says that he's happy he thinks his own emotions might spill out of him in the form of tears, and he buries himself against him, holding him close.]
You're allowed, Kyousuke. You deserve every good thing that's happened to you, and will happen to you. I'm glad that you're happy. I'll make sure that you stay happy.
[It wasn't until he fell onto that bed, letting the mattress sink across his back and envelope them in blankets that he realized just what this all was. Shindou had so much expected of him. His family was wealthy, even a blind person would see that. But the boy was going to inherit this, he was going to take over the Shindou group. He was going to grow up and shine the way his parents would always want him to. It's something that causes his eyes to open, staring straight at the ceiling as he thinks about himself.
Shindou chose him.
A family that fell into darkness and found its way to the light once more, with tired parents, a hopeful brother, and a boy who just wanted to make everything right. It was then he decided....He wouldn't be that nobody person. He would work hard and get grades suitable for Shindou's high school, follow him, become something amazing so that he could be everything he possibly could for this boy.
I'll make sure that you stay happy.
Words that make him pull Shindou a little closer, lips brushing against the top of the boy's head.]
[The answer, though spoken in a faint voice that's only audible due to the silence of the room -- Shindou's room was an especially quiet one in the house, the walls soundproofed to keep the piano's sound in -- is immediate, steady, and uttered without a drop of doubt or hesitation. Shindou's voice is like a the flame of a sweetly scented candle, a warmth just for the boy that is closest to him.]
As the son of the Shindou Group's chairman... as the next heir to the Shindou family, I've had many people around me. I've been cared for, and I've been cherished. I'm grateful for everybody who's raised me thus far.
But you see me, for me. My family, my future, and the role I'll eventually accept -- you've seen past it, to the individual Shindou Takuto. If you'd stay by me and keep an eye on me so I stay myself, then I'll have all the happiness in the world I could ever ask for.
[His heart swells at that sentence, words breaking him free of shackles he thought he'd long shed. Maybe it was newfound love, maybe he'd just never felt this type of affection from anyone other than his family. But it lifted him up, enough that he almost doubted he was still on the bed, his exhale ironically breathless. He'd grant Shindou's wish--he'd never leave his side no matter what, and he'd swear to protect him.
But before he can speak, Shindou continues, and the he listens, eyes fixated on the ceiling and tracing every detail he can find. Memorizing the room just like he'd memorized Shindou's voice. He bites his lip at Shindou's words, the bubbling fear that he won't be enough settled some by the soft tone, sweet and mellow like tea with honey.]
Takuto.
[He's truly touched by all of it...those words are exactly what he wanted to hear. That whatever he can give Shindou is enough, and even more than that.]
You're the one who saw past everything I'd done. You're the one who accepted me. You were the one who agreed with Tenma to let me join the team again.
It's because it's you that I can devote myself like this.
[He remembers that day. It will probably be a date he'll never forget, the events carved into his mind for the rest of his life. How they were going to lose. How Tsurugi, who he knew was swaying between Fifth Sector and some tightly kept secret ever since the Mannouzaka match, skidded into the stadium and begged to be let on the team. Shindou had been swaying, too, not knowing what the correct answer was, not knowing which next move will make it or break it for Raimon. But perhaps he'd wanted to trust him, had already started to, and Matsukaze Tenma was yet again a zephyr that nudged him in the right direction.
"I trust Tsurugi."
"I do too."
He smiles at the memory now, shifting on the bed to wrap himself more closely around his partner, pressing his cheek over his chest. He can hear his heart faintly in this position.]
I continue to be so fortunate. The spring breeze brought me so many blessings... you, especially.
[Those words bring him closer to Tsurugi's chest, is lips pressed more firmly against the top of his head as he silently thanks the one boy who'd been able to make this all possible. The boy they'd recently just scampered away from to get some privacy. The boy who personified the wind in both hissatsu and in his relationships. A refreshing spring breeze...there was no better word for him.]
We have a lot of things to thank him for. I'm not sure I'll ever be able to repay him in the way I feel he deserves...but I think us being happy is what he'd want to see.
[Tenma was just like that.]
Both of us making the most of this year we have together, no matter what the future brings us.
You're right. He's helped us, in ways we could never fully repay him for.
[Shindou's voice is clear, but with sleepiness starting to soften it. Soon, it'll become slurred little by little. He's closed his eyes as he relaxes against Tsurugi's chest. The sound of his heartbeat and his breathing work better than any lullaby.
But he doesn't sleep. Can't sleep, yet, as despite promises for the future, and promises of how much Shindou Takuto values Tsurugi Kyousuke, that same future, one that is expected for Takuto by the Shindou Family, is much different than that of most other children.]
... Tsurugi, no matter what happens, or what anybody says, I intend to stay true to you and my own feelings. And I know I said I want you by my side. I do. But I-- [but, he says, and his hands curl loosely into fists around the back of Tsurugi's shirt] But you should never have to tie yourself to something that hurts you, ever again.
[The way Shindou phrases that, there's no doubt what he's referring to. And it's something that Tsurugi has had his mind on for awhile. Their love for each other was unquestionable, tonight proved that more than anything. Feeling Shindou pressed against his chest, feeling his lips brush against that soft hair...if this was the future destined for him, then he welcomed it entirely. It wasn't often that Tsurugi Kyousuke could feel like something could be his. But Shindou Takuto was one of those things now.
But...and there's always a 'but'...
They were of two different worlds. Not nearly as archaeic as it sounds, but Shindou had a legacy to uphold for his family, who were...obviously very wealthy. Naturally, they'd want someone just as equal to be Shindou's partner.
And while Tsurugi had made quite the impression on the soccer world in both good and bad, he wasn't professional just yet. He wasn't anything concrete or 'made'. And while Shindou doesn't take that into consideration in the least, he knows enough to bring it up to him that his family would see it in far more strict parameters.
There's a swallow before he answers, speaking from his heart.]
My feelings for you won't change, Shindou. Everything I've said and promised up to this point is what I intend to do. I know it'll take effort on our part. But that's what makes it worth it.
[Shindou knows the words that are used to describe his family often. Distinguished, reputable, prestigious, celebrated, powerful -- a slew of synonyms that stroked the egos of his relatives who took pride in the fact that the Shindou lineage dated back to the Meiji period, who felt security in the connections the family had to esteemed individuals and other influential families, who demanded that all sons and daughters born to the Shindou family, especially those of the main branch, take a wife or husband "worth" of that status.
Shindou knew that his parents, as well as his grandparents, were a couple generations that did not adhere to that strict line of thinking. His mother and father had always supported him choosing his own path, allowing him to pursue some future in soccer if that was what he desired. He knew they politely, politically, turned down the many talks of arranged marriage that his relatives tried to shove at him ever since his age hit the double digits. While he used to think he wouldn't mind marrying whoever his family thought was appropriate, that if that were what was expected of the heir then he wouldn't shy away from it, he knew that that had been an unthinkable option for him for the last few months. He knew that he couldn't imagine a future right now where he didn't get to choose what to do or who to be with, that he couldn't imagine a future where he didn't hold Tsurugi Kyousuke's hand in his.
He also knew that his relatives, especially the elders, would not take kindly to such "selfish" choices, and that the consequences of his choice would not fall on him, the future head of the family, but on the very things he chose over the family's honor. That was how it was with soccer, too, after all.
And it's probably because he remembers what it had felt like at the time, when his great aunts and uncles turned up their noses at his sport and voiced their disappointment, that his chest tightens now and Tsurugi's words bring tears to his eyes. He's tired, he can tell that he is, and the fatigue is what's weakening him too, but Tsurugi's words hit deeply as well. The way that deep, kind voice murmurs that he was worth it. That he was worth the effort and that someone would want to stay beside him even if they have to face up against an entire family of hardheaded people who were probably not above what can only be labeled as bullying.
It's love. Love is what he's being shown right now. Love, and Tsurugi Kyousuke's bottomless kindness, dedication, and loyalty, and he doesn't know where the sadness ends and happiness begins as he soaks it all up.]
Tsurugi... I want to protect it. What we have now, what we'll have in our future. I'll do my best. I will do anything it takes to keep them from grabbing hold of you.
[Many things had been taken from Tsurugi Kyousuke in his life. His childhood, viciously ripped from him the moment that branch broke in the park, the moment his brother caught him and lost his legs. It didn't end there. He grew up afraid of his brother's hate, screaming at the doctors to fix his legs because 'he has to be lying!' His mother, with all her grief bottled up, had held him and told him it's not his fault, and that these things just happen. If Yuuichi hadn't caught him, then Kyousuke would have been the one gravely injured. Desperation sunk in, and he'd thrown the last parts of his childhood away to Fifth Sector, conditioning himself to cater to their whims just to reclaim what had been taken not just from him, but his brother.
But with the help of Matsukaze Tenma, and with the help of all of Raimon, he'd broken through the prison he'd chained himself to, freed the soccer both he and Yuuichi loved so much, and brought a glint back into his eyes. With that came Shindou Takuto's love, a budding mutual friendship who'd both crushed on Matsukaze Tenma himself only to have it turn into attraction for each other. What he didn't know was the status of Shindou's family until word had gotten around that they were a couple.
He'd read about it in stories, about how the unlikely knight won the princess's hand because of his personality or his bravery. That status didn't matter if the princess truly loved the knight...or at least, that's what he believed when he was read those stories.
What they don't tell you is the princess's family, moreso the extended ones. The family that always complains at the party, or the ones that have expectations before you're even born. It should have driven him away, and maybe deep down in his heart he still has his doubts that he's good enough for Shindou.
But like hell he'd let them have the satisfaction. He loved Shindou Takuto, and no amount of money or social class would stop that.
He'd be his knight.]
They won't.
[His words sound so confident, cheek resting against the top of his head, trying not to tear up, himself.]
Whatever they say about me, I don't care. It'll only double my efforts to be with you.
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Now it's like an old friend coming back and lifting him up when he fell.
If Shindou wanted him to go to high school with him, he'd make it happen. That was all there was to it in his mind. He'd study, he'd bring up his test scores (not that they were all that bad), he'd find a way.]
No one will be surprised at it.
[His arms pull Shindou close once more, hand looking for the other boy's to lace their fingers together. It was amazing how soft Shindou's hands were, right down to the fingertips. Such a difference from his own calloused ones, worn down from Seed training and general lack-of-care.]
A Knight can't leave his Prince waiting.
Right?
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That's right. I don't want us to be apart for long.
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I'll make sure of it.
[This would be the perfect moment to break away, to go lie down somewhere together...but his eyes snap wide open at the soft snicker he hears under one of the blankets.]
Funny, I thought I heard Tenma just now.
[Clearly loud enough that the offender can hear.]
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[Shindou doesn't move. Not immediately. There's still a chance that Tsurugi misheard, or the sound came from someone who's talking in their sleep. That's it. That's totally feasible. No, that's got to be it, because even if he isn't ashamed of this relationship with Tsurugi -- not at all -- he would die if the team got wind of it and they started teasing them.
He speaks in a hushed voice muffled further by Tsurugi's shirt.]
Really?
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But his comment had certainly gotten the boy's attention, and he knows the last thing Tenma would want is to upset their senpai.]
Mmm. Maybe I was just hearing things.
[A soft merciful warning to Matsukaze, if there ever was one.]
We should probably find somewhere more private, just in case.
[He's not ready to let go of Shindou just yet, despite how he can feel the edges of sleepiness creeping in.]
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The fingers of his free hand find the fabric of Tsurugi's shirt, curling around the material as he quiets his breathing and tries to listen for any more of the noise the other said he picked up. Any uneven breathing. Any voices.
He nuzzles into his shoulder again.] My room is down the hall...?
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His feet take a step towards the hallway, turning them both so they can walk, but still keeping an eye on that sleeping bag.
Matsukaze Tenma, you're granted a freebie this time.]
Lead the way. It'll be nice to lie down and relax, anyway.
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From there, the trip to his room will be uninterrupted. Even the servants were asleep at this hour, especially during holidays if they stayed at all -- he knew his father allowed many of them to travel home for their own families -- so they wouldn't be caught. His own arm stays snaked around Tsurugi's back, holding on.]
It's this way.
[A door at the end of the hallway. Beyond it is a spacious room decorated in soft blue hues, though it's difficult to see with the lights off. Shindou keeps them that way, leading Tsurugi to the opposite side of the room where the bed is.]
It should be big enough for both of us.
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It doesn't take long for his eyes to adjust from the dark away from the TV, quickly finding the room at the end of the hall that Shindou was leading him to. Were this anything other than getting away from Matsukaze Tenma's little antics, he might have had nervous apprehensions about being in his boyfriends room. Alone.
But right now, that's all he wants. Somewhere away from the world and everyone just to sink into the one he and Shindou had made. Where it's just them. The room was spacious, inviting, with a piano in the corner and a couch to accompany it on one side, while the bed lay on the other. Following Shindou's direction, he heads for the bed, nestling his head against the boy's soft hair as they walk, unable to hide his smile.
This year was off to a good start, he can't help but muse.]
I'll make sure you don't fall off.
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Just them. Just Tsurugi's arms around him, just the press of his head on top of his, just his own snaked around him. Just them.
They both agreed that they would be busy with their rowdy teammates around, but if every moment by themselves could be like this, it would certainly be something well worth looking forward to. He smiles as well, turning now to bury his face into the front of Tsurugi's shirt.]
Thank you. We'll stay close together.
[The bed is definitely big enough for them both, at least. It's big enough for at least two more of them. The sheets are fresh and clean and soft, the blanket they crawl under just heavy enough to cocoon them comfortably in its warmth.]
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Rich people have really soft, really comfortable beds.
His eyes widen as the cloth wraps around his back, letting them both sink into the blankets and pillows, the temptation of just falling asleep right there starting to creep into his body and soul. But Shindou on top of him provides a nicer distraction, nuzzling into that hair and wrapping his arms around the boy's body.
Soaking in that this was his now. That Tsurugi Kyousuke could have things like this. And WOULD have things like this.
He had no intentions of leaving this after middle school, after all. Not anymore.]
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I could get used to this.
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Shindou could not have said it better.]
Yeah.
[His voice is gentle, almost a whisper, as his body instinctively settles into the mattress.]
You fit perfectly.
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[Any other day, comments implying that he is short (though he is shorter than Tsurugi) would've gotten about a minute of silence from Shindou, but today he feels merciful. He's warm, he's in his boyfriend's arms, and he's sure that if he tried to stay quiet for a whole minute right now he'd just fall asleep. His own voice is a murmur, a low hum, as he listens to Tsurugi's heart beat, feels his chest rise and fall with his breath.]
... Kyousuke. I'm happy that you're with me.
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He got to watch Shindou's face relax into a peaceful smile as they lie there in the dark, letting sleep slowly take them. And the way Shindou whispers his name, as if it were a secret to just them in the darkness of his room...]
I'm happy, too. Strange...I thought I wasn't allowed to be, with everything that's happened in my life. But soccer has returned, my brother's getting therapy...
And I have you, Takuto.
I'm truly happy.
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No. That was inaccurate. It had been a few years since he sought it from his parents, let alone anybody else. He will eventually take over the Shindou business. He will eventually be the head of the family. As the "young master" of the house, as the guide and captain of Raimon Soccer, with so much expectation from those around him, he'd squared his shoulders to withstand the weight and convinced himself that he didn't feel any of it. If he sought comfort then, he was afraid he'd crumble.
Accepting Tsurugi's comfort like this did not make him crumble. In fact, it made him feel lighter, more secure. Stronger. When he hears him call his name, feels his chest rumble with that soft, deep voice, when he says that he's happy he thinks his own emotions might spill out of him in the form of tears, and he buries himself against him, holding him close.]
You're allowed, Kyousuke. You deserve every good thing that's happened to you, and will happen to you. I'm glad that you're happy. I'll make sure that you stay happy.
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Shindou chose him.
A family that fell into darkness and found its way to the light once more, with tired parents, a hopeful brother, and a boy who just wanted to make everything right. It was then he decided....He wouldn't be that nobody person. He would work hard and get grades suitable for Shindou's high school, follow him, become something amazing so that he could be everything he possibly could for this boy.
I'll make sure that you stay happy.
Words that make him pull Shindou a little closer, lips brushing against the top of the boy's head.]
I'll do the same.
Whatever it is you want, I'll do my best for you.
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[The answer, though spoken in a faint voice that's only audible due to the silence of the room -- Shindou's room was an especially quiet one in the house, the walls soundproofed to keep the piano's sound in -- is immediate, steady, and uttered without a drop of doubt or hesitation. Shindou's voice is like a the flame of a sweetly scented candle, a warmth just for the boy that is closest to him.]
As the son of the Shindou Group's chairman... as the next heir to the Shindou family, I've had many people around me. I've been cared for, and I've been cherished. I'm grateful for everybody who's raised me thus far.
But you see me, for me. My family, my future, and the role I'll eventually accept -- you've seen past it, to the individual Shindou Takuto. If you'd stay by me and keep an eye on me so I stay myself, then I'll have all the happiness in the world I could ever ask for.
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But before he can speak, Shindou continues, and the he listens, eyes fixated on the ceiling and tracing every detail he can find. Memorizing the room just like he'd memorized Shindou's voice. He bites his lip at Shindou's words, the bubbling fear that he won't be enough settled some by the soft tone, sweet and mellow like tea with honey.]
Takuto.
[He's truly touched by all of it...those words are exactly what he wanted to hear. That whatever he can give Shindou is enough, and even more than that.]
You're the one who saw past everything I'd done. You're the one who accepted me. You were the one who agreed with Tenma to let me join the team again.
It's because it's you that I can devote myself like this.
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"I trust Tsurugi."
"I do too."
He smiles at the memory now, shifting on the bed to wrap himself more closely around his partner, pressing his cheek over his chest. He can hear his heart faintly in this position.]
I continue to be so fortunate. The spring breeze brought me so many blessings... you, especially.
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We have a lot of things to thank him for. I'm not sure I'll ever be able to repay him in the way I feel he deserves...but I think us being happy is what he'd want to see.
[Tenma was just like that.]
Both of us making the most of this year we have together, no matter what the future brings us.
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[Shindou's voice is clear, but with sleepiness starting to soften it. Soon, it'll become slurred little by little. He's closed his eyes as he relaxes against Tsurugi's chest. The sound of his heartbeat and his breathing work better than any lullaby.
But he doesn't sleep. Can't sleep, yet, as despite promises for the future, and promises of how much Shindou Takuto values Tsurugi Kyousuke, that same future, one that is expected for Takuto by the Shindou Family, is much different than that of most other children.]
... Tsurugi, no matter what happens, or what anybody says, I intend to stay true to you and my own feelings. And I know I said I want you by my side. I do. But I-- [but, he says, and his hands curl loosely into fists around the back of Tsurugi's shirt] But you should never have to tie yourself to something that hurts you, ever again.
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But...and there's always a 'but'...
They were of two different worlds. Not nearly as archaeic as it sounds, but Shindou had a legacy to uphold for his family, who were...obviously very wealthy. Naturally, they'd want someone just as equal to be Shindou's partner.
And while Tsurugi had made quite the impression on the soccer world in both good and bad, he wasn't professional just yet. He wasn't anything concrete or 'made'. And while Shindou doesn't take that into consideration in the least, he knows enough to bring it up to him that his family would see it in far more strict parameters.
There's a swallow before he answers, speaking from his heart.]
My feelings for you won't change, Shindou. Everything I've said and promised up to this point is what I intend to do. I know it'll take effort on our part. But that's what makes it worth it.
[A beat.]
That's what makes you worth it.
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[Shindou knows the words that are used to describe his family often. Distinguished, reputable, prestigious, celebrated, powerful -- a slew of synonyms that stroked the egos of his relatives who took pride in the fact that the Shindou lineage dated back to the Meiji period, who felt security in the connections the family had to esteemed individuals and other influential families, who demanded that all sons and daughters born to the Shindou family, especially those of the main branch, take a wife or husband "worth" of that status.
Shindou knew that his parents, as well as his grandparents, were a couple generations that did not adhere to that strict line of thinking. His mother and father had always supported him choosing his own path, allowing him to pursue some future in soccer if that was what he desired. He knew they politely, politically, turned down the many talks of arranged marriage that his relatives tried to shove at him ever since his age hit the double digits. While he used to think he wouldn't mind marrying whoever his family thought was appropriate, that if that were what was expected of the heir then he wouldn't shy away from it, he knew that that had been an unthinkable option for him for the last few months. He knew that he couldn't imagine a future right now where he didn't get to choose what to do or who to be with, that he couldn't imagine a future where he didn't hold Tsurugi Kyousuke's hand in his.
He also knew that his relatives, especially the elders, would not take kindly to such "selfish" choices, and that the consequences of his choice would not fall on him, the future head of the family, but on the very things he chose over the family's honor. That was how it was with soccer, too, after all.
And it's probably because he remembers what it had felt like at the time, when his great aunts and uncles turned up their noses at his sport and voiced their disappointment, that his chest tightens now and Tsurugi's words bring tears to his eyes. He's tired, he can tell that he is, and the fatigue is what's weakening him too, but Tsurugi's words hit deeply as well. The way that deep, kind voice murmurs that he was worth it. That he was worth the effort and that someone would want to stay beside him even if they have to face up against an entire family of hardheaded people who were probably not above what can only be labeled as bullying.
It's love. Love is what he's being shown right now. Love, and Tsurugi Kyousuke's bottomless kindness, dedication, and loyalty, and he doesn't know where the sadness ends and happiness begins as he soaks it all up.]
Tsurugi... I want to protect it. What we have now, what we'll have in our future. I'll do my best. I will do anything it takes to keep them from grabbing hold of you.
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But with the help of Matsukaze Tenma, and with the help of all of Raimon, he'd broken through the prison he'd chained himself to, freed the soccer both he and Yuuichi loved so much, and brought a glint back into his eyes. With that came Shindou Takuto's love, a budding mutual friendship who'd both crushed on Matsukaze Tenma himself only to have it turn into attraction for each other. What he didn't know was the status of Shindou's family until word had gotten around that they were a couple.
He'd read about it in stories, about how the unlikely knight won the princess's hand because of his personality or his bravery. That status didn't matter if the princess truly loved the knight...or at least, that's what he believed when he was read those stories.
What they don't tell you is the princess's family, moreso the extended ones. The family that always complains at the party, or the ones that have expectations before you're even born. It should have driven him away, and maybe deep down in his heart he still has his doubts that he's good enough for Shindou.
But like hell he'd let them have the satisfaction. He loved Shindou Takuto, and no amount of money or social class would stop that.
He'd be his knight.]
They won't.
[His words sound so confident, cheek resting against the top of his head, trying not to tear up, himself.]
Whatever they say about me, I don't care. It'll only double my efforts to be with you.
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