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[Unaware of Tsurugi's sudden epiphany about the complimentary comfort that comes with dating someone from the Shindou family, the son of that family himself is snuggling readily under the covers and into his boyfriend's chest, happy to be enveloped by those strong arms and feel him nuzzling into his hair. His own arms snake around him, and soon they're lying on the bed tangled with each other. Despite the cold of the world outside, the bed is nothing but warm.]
[It's easier to sink into than he ever thought--both the mattress and Shindou's embrace. If you'd told him he'd be lying in this bed, arms securely around another boy...he'd have laughed on a good day, glared daggers on a bad one. But now it's all he can ask for, feeling Shindou's breath against his clothes, the softness of his hair, the smell of his shampoo as he buries his face into it...
Shindou could not have said it better.]
Yeah.
[His voice is gentle, almost a whisper, as his body instinctively settles into the mattress.]
[Any other day, comments implying that he is short (though he is shorter than Tsurugi) would've gotten about a minute of silence from Shindou, but today he feels merciful. He's warm, he's in his boyfriend's arms, and he's sure that if he tried to stay quiet for a whole minute right now he'd just fall asleep. His own voice is a murmur, a low hum, as he listens to Tsurugi's heart beat, feels his chest rise and fall with his breath.]
[He had to get a comment in there somewhere. As affectionate as it was, he loved the fact that he was taller than Shindou. It meant he got to feel his face press into his chest like this. He got to wrap his arms around him.
He got to watch Shindou's face relax into a peaceful smile as they lie there in the dark, letting sleep slowly take them. And the way Shindou whispers his name, as if it were a secret to just them in the darkness of his room...]
I'm happy, too. Strange...I thought I wasn't allowed to be, with everything that's happened in my life. But soccer has returned, my brother's getting therapy...
[To find security and comfort in the warmth of another and the wrap of them arms... that was not something Shindou experienced too often. Before he got into this relationship with Tsurugi, it had been a few years since he received it from even his parents.
No. That was inaccurate. It had been a few years since he sought it from his parents, let alone anybody else. He will eventually take over the Shindou business. He will eventually be the head of the family. As the "young master" of the house, as the guide and captain of Raimon Soccer, with so much expectation from those around him, he'd squared his shoulders to withstand the weight and convinced himself that he didn't feel any of it. If he sought comfort then, he was afraid he'd crumble.
Accepting Tsurugi's comfort like this did not make him crumble. In fact, it made him feel lighter, more secure. Stronger. When he hears him call his name, feels his chest rumble with that soft, deep voice, when he says that he's happy he thinks his own emotions might spill out of him in the form of tears, and he buries himself against him, holding him close.]
You're allowed, Kyousuke. You deserve every good thing that's happened to you, and will happen to you. I'm glad that you're happy. I'll make sure that you stay happy.
[It wasn't until he fell onto that bed, letting the mattress sink across his back and envelope them in blankets that he realized just what this all was. Shindou had so much expected of him. His family was wealthy, even a blind person would see that. But the boy was going to inherit this, he was going to take over the Shindou group. He was going to grow up and shine the way his parents would always want him to. It's something that causes his eyes to open, staring straight at the ceiling as he thinks about himself.
Shindou chose him.
A family that fell into darkness and found its way to the light once more, with tired parents, a hopeful brother, and a boy who just wanted to make everything right. It was then he decided....He wouldn't be that nobody person. He would work hard and get grades suitable for Shindou's high school, follow him, become something amazing so that he could be everything he possibly could for this boy.
I'll make sure that you stay happy.
Words that make him pull Shindou a little closer, lips brushing against the top of the boy's head.]
[The answer, though spoken in a faint voice that's only audible due to the silence of the room -- Shindou's room was an especially quiet one in the house, the walls soundproofed to keep the piano's sound in -- is immediate, steady, and uttered without a drop of doubt or hesitation. Shindou's voice is like a the flame of a sweetly scented candle, a warmth just for the boy that is closest to him.]
As the son of the Shindou Group's chairman... as the next heir to the Shindou family, I've had many people around me. I've been cared for, and I've been cherished. I'm grateful for everybody who's raised me thus far.
But you see me, for me. My family, my future, and the role I'll eventually accept -- you've seen past it, to the individual Shindou Takuto. If you'd stay by me and keep an eye on me so I stay myself, then I'll have all the happiness in the world I could ever ask for.
[His heart swells at that sentence, words breaking him free of shackles he thought he'd long shed. Maybe it was newfound love, maybe he'd just never felt this type of affection from anyone other than his family. But it lifted him up, enough that he almost doubted he was still on the bed, his exhale ironically breathless. He'd grant Shindou's wish--he'd never leave his side no matter what, and he'd swear to protect him.
But before he can speak, Shindou continues, and the he listens, eyes fixated on the ceiling and tracing every detail he can find. Memorizing the room just like he'd memorized Shindou's voice. He bites his lip at Shindou's words, the bubbling fear that he won't be enough settled some by the soft tone, sweet and mellow like tea with honey.]
Takuto.
[He's truly touched by all of it...those words are exactly what he wanted to hear. That whatever he can give Shindou is enough, and even more than that.]
You're the one who saw past everything I'd done. You're the one who accepted me. You were the one who agreed with Tenma to let me join the team again.
It's because it's you that I can devote myself like this.
[He remembers that day. It will probably be a date he'll never forget, the events carved into his mind for the rest of his life. How they were going to lose. How Tsurugi, who he knew was swaying between Fifth Sector and some tightly kept secret ever since the Mannouzaka match, skidded into the stadium and begged to be let on the team. Shindou had been swaying, too, not knowing what the correct answer was, not knowing which next move will make it or break it for Raimon. But perhaps he'd wanted to trust him, had already started to, and Matsukaze Tenma was yet again a zephyr that nudged him in the right direction.
"I trust Tsurugi."
"I do too."
He smiles at the memory now, shifting on the bed to wrap himself more closely around his partner, pressing his cheek over his chest. He can hear his heart faintly in this position.]
I continue to be so fortunate. The spring breeze brought me so many blessings... you, especially.
[Those words bring him closer to Tsurugi's chest, is lips pressed more firmly against the top of his head as he silently thanks the one boy who'd been able to make this all possible. The boy they'd recently just scampered away from to get some privacy. The boy who personified the wind in both hissatsu and in his relationships. A refreshing spring breeze...there was no better word for him.]
We have a lot of things to thank him for. I'm not sure I'll ever be able to repay him in the way I feel he deserves...but I think us being happy is what he'd want to see.
[Tenma was just like that.]
Both of us making the most of this year we have together, no matter what the future brings us.
You're right. He's helped us, in ways we could never fully repay him for.
[Shindou's voice is clear, but with sleepiness starting to soften it. Soon, it'll become slurred little by little. He's closed his eyes as he relaxes against Tsurugi's chest. The sound of his heartbeat and his breathing work better than any lullaby.
But he doesn't sleep. Can't sleep, yet, as despite promises for the future, and promises of how much Shindou Takuto values Tsurugi Kyousuke, that same future, one that is expected for Takuto by the Shindou Family, is much different than that of most other children.]
... Tsurugi, no matter what happens, or what anybody says, I intend to stay true to you and my own feelings. And I know I said I want you by my side. I do. But I-- [but, he says, and his hands curl loosely into fists around the back of Tsurugi's shirt] But you should never have to tie yourself to something that hurts you, ever again.
[The way Shindou phrases that, there's no doubt what he's referring to. And it's something that Tsurugi has had his mind on for awhile. Their love for each other was unquestionable, tonight proved that more than anything. Feeling Shindou pressed against his chest, feeling his lips brush against that soft hair...if this was the future destined for him, then he welcomed it entirely. It wasn't often that Tsurugi Kyousuke could feel like something could be his. But Shindou Takuto was one of those things now.
But...and there's always a 'but'...
They were of two different worlds. Not nearly as archaeic as it sounds, but Shindou had a legacy to uphold for his family, who were...obviously very wealthy. Naturally, they'd want someone just as equal to be Shindou's partner.
And while Tsurugi had made quite the impression on the soccer world in both good and bad, he wasn't professional just yet. He wasn't anything concrete or 'made'. And while Shindou doesn't take that into consideration in the least, he knows enough to bring it up to him that his family would see it in far more strict parameters.
There's a swallow before he answers, speaking from his heart.]
My feelings for you won't change, Shindou. Everything I've said and promised up to this point is what I intend to do. I know it'll take effort on our part. But that's what makes it worth it.
[Shindou knows the words that are used to describe his family often. Distinguished, reputable, prestigious, celebrated, powerful -- a slew of synonyms that stroked the egos of his relatives who took pride in the fact that the Shindou lineage dated back to the Meiji period, who felt security in the connections the family had to esteemed individuals and other influential families, who demanded that all sons and daughters born to the Shindou family, especially those of the main branch, take a wife or husband "worth" of that status.
Shindou knew that his parents, as well as his grandparents, were a couple generations that did not adhere to that strict line of thinking. His mother and father had always supported him choosing his own path, allowing him to pursue some future in soccer if that was what he desired. He knew they politely, politically, turned down the many talks of arranged marriage that his relatives tried to shove at him ever since his age hit the double digits. While he used to think he wouldn't mind marrying whoever his family thought was appropriate, that if that were what was expected of the heir then he wouldn't shy away from it, he knew that that had been an unthinkable option for him for the last few months. He knew that he couldn't imagine a future right now where he didn't get to choose what to do or who to be with, that he couldn't imagine a future where he didn't hold Tsurugi Kyousuke's hand in his.
He also knew that his relatives, especially the elders, would not take kindly to such "selfish" choices, and that the consequences of his choice would not fall on him, the future head of the family, but on the very things he chose over the family's honor. That was how it was with soccer, too, after all.
And it's probably because he remembers what it had felt like at the time, when his great aunts and uncles turned up their noses at his sport and voiced their disappointment, that his chest tightens now and Tsurugi's words bring tears to his eyes. He's tired, he can tell that he is, and the fatigue is what's weakening him too, but Tsurugi's words hit deeply as well. The way that deep, kind voice murmurs that he was worth it. That he was worth the effort and that someone would want to stay beside him even if they have to face up against an entire family of hardheaded people who were probably not above what can only be labeled as bullying.
It's love. Love is what he's being shown right now. Love, and Tsurugi Kyousuke's bottomless kindness, dedication, and loyalty, and he doesn't know where the sadness ends and happiness begins as he soaks it all up.]
Tsurugi... I want to protect it. What we have now, what we'll have in our future. I'll do my best. I will do anything it takes to keep them from grabbing hold of you.
[Many things had been taken from Tsurugi Kyousuke in his life. His childhood, viciously ripped from him the moment that branch broke in the park, the moment his brother caught him and lost his legs. It didn't end there. He grew up afraid of his brother's hate, screaming at the doctors to fix his legs because 'he has to be lying!' His mother, with all her grief bottled up, had held him and told him it's not his fault, and that these things just happen. If Yuuichi hadn't caught him, then Kyousuke would have been the one gravely injured. Desperation sunk in, and he'd thrown the last parts of his childhood away to Fifth Sector, conditioning himself to cater to their whims just to reclaim what had been taken not just from him, but his brother.
But with the help of Matsukaze Tenma, and with the help of all of Raimon, he'd broken through the prison he'd chained himself to, freed the soccer both he and Yuuichi loved so much, and brought a glint back into his eyes. With that came Shindou Takuto's love, a budding mutual friendship who'd both crushed on Matsukaze Tenma himself only to have it turn into attraction for each other. What he didn't know was the status of Shindou's family until word had gotten around that they were a couple.
He'd read about it in stories, about how the unlikely knight won the princess's hand because of his personality or his bravery. That status didn't matter if the princess truly loved the knight...or at least, that's what he believed when he was read those stories.
What they don't tell you is the princess's family, moreso the extended ones. The family that always complains at the party, or the ones that have expectations before you're even born. It should have driven him away, and maybe deep down in his heart he still has his doubts that he's good enough for Shindou.
But like hell he'd let them have the satisfaction. He loved Shindou Takuto, and no amount of money or social class would stop that.
He'd be his knight.]
They won't.
[His words sound so confident, cheek resting against the top of his head, trying not to tear up, himself.]
Whatever they say about me, I don't care. It'll only double my efforts to be with you.
These words, the voice he speaks it in, the strong arms that wrap around and hold him in place. Just like this, Tsurugi held him together. A part of him felt ashamed. Embarrassed. As the elder, he should be the one to support him. He should be the one to help Tsurugi, to assure him that he could be here. Shindou was fortunate enough to always have belonged at Raimon. Tsurugi had to struggle, to give up belonging anywhere for such a long time, and it was Tenma's warm smile and voice that had moved all their hearts.
That's right. It was he who needed to support Tsurugi. After passing the role of captain onto Tenma, didn't that give him the ability to focus on another individual more? It was something he could never have afforded if he still wore that red band around his arm... yet here he was, letting Tsurugi's kindness spoil him, weak, unreliable.
Whatever they say about me, I don't care. Why did he have to make Tsurugi bear with something this all over again? But letting him go wasn't even an option they could bear with.]
Thank you. Thank you, Tsurugi, for falling in love with someone like me.
[He lets out a soft sigh, then breathes in. With the last of his remaining energy, he pulls away just enough to tilt his head back, craning his neck to bring his face closer to Tsurugi's, seeking his lips in a soft but lingering kiss.]
Me, too. For the first time in a long time, there's something I truly don't want to let go of. I hope... I hope you don't think you'd have to fight alone.
[Anything he could have said in reply is interuppted by a soft press of Shindou's lips to his own, brushing against them so gently that you could almost miss the touch if you didn't lean into it. Tsurugi did, his neck craning down to meet those seeking lips and holding on that kiss for as long as he can. His head tilts, allowing his chapped lips to take a new angle and glide a second time across the softer ones of his partner. Shindou may have felt that he was the weak and unreliable one, but he'd seen what the boy could do on the field. Captaincy or not, he led the team in his own way, with God's Baton directing them and ensuring their victory in ways Tsurugi could never even dream of. The idea of being that and captain at the same time...it puts a sense of security in Tsurugi, and a security in their victory on the field.
It was because of God's Baton, Shindou himself that they could win Holy Road.
The kiss lasts as long as his breath can hold itself, putting every ounce of affection into it before lifting up, only giving himself an inch between them as they curl together between the blankets. His voice tickles Shindou's ear as he speaks, it's low tone almost too soft to catch.]
You've never been one to stand down once you believe in something. Not since I showed up in your life.
[It was true, the moment Tsurugi appeared, he'd awakened the Maestro in the boy, and (unintentionally at the time) his fighting spirit. A choice when, looking back on it, was probably one of the only positive things to come out of his behaviour back then. How much longer would Shindou have continued to play a soccer so lifeless?]
This year, starting today, we'll be by each others sides.
[When they part from the kiss, and when he feels Tsurugi's breath against his ear, Shindou is almost relieved for the dimness of the room, though he also wonders if Tsurugi could feel how hot his face is anyway. The slow, tender kiss -- the press of Tsurugi's lips against his -- has him melted in the other's arms, all previous jumbles in his heart taken away with his breath. His sensitive hearing doesn't miss a single whisper, picking up every softly spoken syllable.
He'd listened to the music of many masters over the years, classic and contemporary, domestic and foreign. He'd listened to almost every genre that his family or teacher introduced him to, then some more on his own as he grew older. Yet, more than any of those men and woman, more than any of their greatest pieces in history, he finds this to be the most beautiful. The sound of Tsurugi Kyousuke's voice as it murmurs words only for him... his favorite melody.]
You're right. I didn't know what to do, until that day, but you entered my life and helped awaken something in me -- I feel that I've been pushed along by your presence ever since. You inspire me to keep growing stronger...
[His cheeks are still flushed, perhaps so warm that Tsurugi can feel it against his skin from their closeness, but Shindou doesn't feel shy about it as he leans in again, closing the distance between their lips for a third time.]
You've helped light the path at my feet for all this time. With you here I'm not afraid of getting lost, anymore. I love you, Kyousuke.
[Tsurugi Kyousuke was lucky they'd already taken to lying on Shindou's bed. Because with every touch of their lips, every breath Shindou took that he could feel against his cheek, every rise and fall of his chest that he could feel against his own...he could sense the numbness of his legs. How they seemed to become jelly whenever Shindou spoke of him so tenderly, so lovingly.
It's funny, when he'd originally woken Shindou's fighting spirit, it wasn't with the intention to make him stronger. Tsurugi was gentle at heart, but at that point in time, he'd had to play a much different role. He'd originally intended to break Shindou down until the pieces couldn't be recognized. Maybe he'd underestimated the strength of the boy at the time, but now...it was all too obvious just by looking at him that his strength was something that shown brighter with each passing day.
God's Baton was not misgiven. He truly was meant to guide others with his own strength.
Their lips connect once more, and Tsurugi's own lean forward to meet them eagerly. It lingers a few moments, but just quick enough for it to be chaste and fleeting, as Shindou speaks again.
The words he loved hearing the most, and the ones that grip his heart so tightly that he feels it could burst. With a nuzzle into the top of Shindou's head, he pulls him closer once more, inhaling deeper than he'd thought his lungs could handle, exhaling and closing his eyes with the most satisfying sigh.]
[This close, he can hear the air enter and leave Tsurugi's lungs. Faintly, he can hear Tsurugi's heart beating. His soft voice, his warm embrace, those words of love -- once again, Shindou wonders if it's all right for one person to feel so much happiness. He'd always been surrounded by people who loved him, and for that he was so grateful, but right now, with this one person, he feels an amount of joy he had never felt before in his life.
To be able to stay like this with him, forever, would be such a wonderful thing.
His eyes drift closed as well, sleepiness catching hold of him again. He snuggles into Tsurugi's chest, sighing when every breath brings with it Tsurugi's smell. This was his favorite place to be.]
Tomorrow, [he says, his voice already a little slurred from the sleepiness trying to take hold of him. Feeling so safe in Tsurugi's arms, it was hard to fight the call of sleep now.] Tomorrow, when we go to the shrine with the others, I'd like to hold your hand.
[It's hard to stay awake now, feeling their body heat start to envelope them, blanketed between the soft bed underneath and the sheets. His eyes don't open, preferring to just listen to Shindou's movements, his soft little hums as he situates himself against his chest, feeling his ear press against it and listening to him breathe. He can't remember feeling this light, this free.
Not since he was a child, at least. And this was something he never wanted to let go of.
Shindou's request goes without saying, naturally. He'd certainly accompany him throughout the whole day at the shrine. His hand moves, glossing over Shindou's back tenderly, his fingers brushing along his shirt and to his shoulder, down his arm...
All the way until he finds that hand, peeling it away from his torso gently and putting it in his own. His soft skin was like silk between his fingers, as he threads his own inbetween the spaces Shindou's makes, lacing them together.
Pulling it up gently, his lips press to Shindou's fingertips, eyes still closed and breath still warm.]
[Tsurugi's fingers, dryer and cooler than his own, already answer to his request and take his hand. With his eyes closed he relies on just touch and sound to follow his motions, shivering slightly at the hand that brushes over his back and arm, smiling when he feels the warmth of his boyfriend's breath and lips.
His own fingers curl -- interlacing, weaving together -- as he lets out a laugh like a giggle, nodding happily at Tsurugi's declaration.]
Me neither.
[Tomorrow, they'll leave this room together and meet up with the others. They'll hold hands. They could -- they would tell their friends, and he's sure they'll accept and even celebrate for them that their relationship had come this far. Most of them probably know already -- not much gets past Kirino, at least.
He loves Tsurugi Kyousuke, and this year, he thinks he wants the world to know.]
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I could get used to this.
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Shindou could not have said it better.]
Yeah.
[His voice is gentle, almost a whisper, as his body instinctively settles into the mattress.]
You fit perfectly.
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[Any other day, comments implying that he is short (though he is shorter than Tsurugi) would've gotten about a minute of silence from Shindou, but today he feels merciful. He's warm, he's in his boyfriend's arms, and he's sure that if he tried to stay quiet for a whole minute right now he'd just fall asleep. His own voice is a murmur, a low hum, as he listens to Tsurugi's heart beat, feels his chest rise and fall with his breath.]
... Kyousuke. I'm happy that you're with me.
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He got to watch Shindou's face relax into a peaceful smile as they lie there in the dark, letting sleep slowly take them. And the way Shindou whispers his name, as if it were a secret to just them in the darkness of his room...]
I'm happy, too. Strange...I thought I wasn't allowed to be, with everything that's happened in my life. But soccer has returned, my brother's getting therapy...
And I have you, Takuto.
I'm truly happy.
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No. That was inaccurate. It had been a few years since he sought it from his parents, let alone anybody else. He will eventually take over the Shindou business. He will eventually be the head of the family. As the "young master" of the house, as the guide and captain of Raimon Soccer, with so much expectation from those around him, he'd squared his shoulders to withstand the weight and convinced himself that he didn't feel any of it. If he sought comfort then, he was afraid he'd crumble.
Accepting Tsurugi's comfort like this did not make him crumble. In fact, it made him feel lighter, more secure. Stronger. When he hears him call his name, feels his chest rumble with that soft, deep voice, when he says that he's happy he thinks his own emotions might spill out of him in the form of tears, and he buries himself against him, holding him close.]
You're allowed, Kyousuke. You deserve every good thing that's happened to you, and will happen to you. I'm glad that you're happy. I'll make sure that you stay happy.
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Shindou chose him.
A family that fell into darkness and found its way to the light once more, with tired parents, a hopeful brother, and a boy who just wanted to make everything right. It was then he decided....He wouldn't be that nobody person. He would work hard and get grades suitable for Shindou's high school, follow him, become something amazing so that he could be everything he possibly could for this boy.
I'll make sure that you stay happy.
Words that make him pull Shindou a little closer, lips brushing against the top of the boy's head.]
I'll do the same.
Whatever it is you want, I'll do my best for you.
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[The answer, though spoken in a faint voice that's only audible due to the silence of the room -- Shindou's room was an especially quiet one in the house, the walls soundproofed to keep the piano's sound in -- is immediate, steady, and uttered without a drop of doubt or hesitation. Shindou's voice is like a the flame of a sweetly scented candle, a warmth just for the boy that is closest to him.]
As the son of the Shindou Group's chairman... as the next heir to the Shindou family, I've had many people around me. I've been cared for, and I've been cherished. I'm grateful for everybody who's raised me thus far.
But you see me, for me. My family, my future, and the role I'll eventually accept -- you've seen past it, to the individual Shindou Takuto. If you'd stay by me and keep an eye on me so I stay myself, then I'll have all the happiness in the world I could ever ask for.
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But before he can speak, Shindou continues, and the he listens, eyes fixated on the ceiling and tracing every detail he can find. Memorizing the room just like he'd memorized Shindou's voice. He bites his lip at Shindou's words, the bubbling fear that he won't be enough settled some by the soft tone, sweet and mellow like tea with honey.]
Takuto.
[He's truly touched by all of it...those words are exactly what he wanted to hear. That whatever he can give Shindou is enough, and even more than that.]
You're the one who saw past everything I'd done. You're the one who accepted me. You were the one who agreed with Tenma to let me join the team again.
It's because it's you that I can devote myself like this.
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"I trust Tsurugi."
"I do too."
He smiles at the memory now, shifting on the bed to wrap himself more closely around his partner, pressing his cheek over his chest. He can hear his heart faintly in this position.]
I continue to be so fortunate. The spring breeze brought me so many blessings... you, especially.
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We have a lot of things to thank him for. I'm not sure I'll ever be able to repay him in the way I feel he deserves...but I think us being happy is what he'd want to see.
[Tenma was just like that.]
Both of us making the most of this year we have together, no matter what the future brings us.
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[Shindou's voice is clear, but with sleepiness starting to soften it. Soon, it'll become slurred little by little. He's closed his eyes as he relaxes against Tsurugi's chest. The sound of his heartbeat and his breathing work better than any lullaby.
But he doesn't sleep. Can't sleep, yet, as despite promises for the future, and promises of how much Shindou Takuto values Tsurugi Kyousuke, that same future, one that is expected for Takuto by the Shindou Family, is much different than that of most other children.]
... Tsurugi, no matter what happens, or what anybody says, I intend to stay true to you and my own feelings. And I know I said I want you by my side. I do. But I-- [but, he says, and his hands curl loosely into fists around the back of Tsurugi's shirt] But you should never have to tie yourself to something that hurts you, ever again.
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But...and there's always a 'but'...
They were of two different worlds. Not nearly as archaeic as it sounds, but Shindou had a legacy to uphold for his family, who were...obviously very wealthy. Naturally, they'd want someone just as equal to be Shindou's partner.
And while Tsurugi had made quite the impression on the soccer world in both good and bad, he wasn't professional just yet. He wasn't anything concrete or 'made'. And while Shindou doesn't take that into consideration in the least, he knows enough to bring it up to him that his family would see it in far more strict parameters.
There's a swallow before he answers, speaking from his heart.]
My feelings for you won't change, Shindou. Everything I've said and promised up to this point is what I intend to do. I know it'll take effort on our part. But that's what makes it worth it.
[A beat.]
That's what makes you worth it.
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[Shindou knows the words that are used to describe his family often. Distinguished, reputable, prestigious, celebrated, powerful -- a slew of synonyms that stroked the egos of his relatives who took pride in the fact that the Shindou lineage dated back to the Meiji period, who felt security in the connections the family had to esteemed individuals and other influential families, who demanded that all sons and daughters born to the Shindou family, especially those of the main branch, take a wife or husband "worth" of that status.
Shindou knew that his parents, as well as his grandparents, were a couple generations that did not adhere to that strict line of thinking. His mother and father had always supported him choosing his own path, allowing him to pursue some future in soccer if that was what he desired. He knew they politely, politically, turned down the many talks of arranged marriage that his relatives tried to shove at him ever since his age hit the double digits. While he used to think he wouldn't mind marrying whoever his family thought was appropriate, that if that were what was expected of the heir then he wouldn't shy away from it, he knew that that had been an unthinkable option for him for the last few months. He knew that he couldn't imagine a future right now where he didn't get to choose what to do or who to be with, that he couldn't imagine a future where he didn't hold Tsurugi Kyousuke's hand in his.
He also knew that his relatives, especially the elders, would not take kindly to such "selfish" choices, and that the consequences of his choice would not fall on him, the future head of the family, but on the very things he chose over the family's honor. That was how it was with soccer, too, after all.
And it's probably because he remembers what it had felt like at the time, when his great aunts and uncles turned up their noses at his sport and voiced their disappointment, that his chest tightens now and Tsurugi's words bring tears to his eyes. He's tired, he can tell that he is, and the fatigue is what's weakening him too, but Tsurugi's words hit deeply as well. The way that deep, kind voice murmurs that he was worth it. That he was worth the effort and that someone would want to stay beside him even if they have to face up against an entire family of hardheaded people who were probably not above what can only be labeled as bullying.
It's love. Love is what he's being shown right now. Love, and Tsurugi Kyousuke's bottomless kindness, dedication, and loyalty, and he doesn't know where the sadness ends and happiness begins as he soaks it all up.]
Tsurugi... I want to protect it. What we have now, what we'll have in our future. I'll do my best. I will do anything it takes to keep them from grabbing hold of you.
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But with the help of Matsukaze Tenma, and with the help of all of Raimon, he'd broken through the prison he'd chained himself to, freed the soccer both he and Yuuichi loved so much, and brought a glint back into his eyes. With that came Shindou Takuto's love, a budding mutual friendship who'd both crushed on Matsukaze Tenma himself only to have it turn into attraction for each other. What he didn't know was the status of Shindou's family until word had gotten around that they were a couple.
He'd read about it in stories, about how the unlikely knight won the princess's hand because of his personality or his bravery. That status didn't matter if the princess truly loved the knight...or at least, that's what he believed when he was read those stories.
What they don't tell you is the princess's family, moreso the extended ones. The family that always complains at the party, or the ones that have expectations before you're even born. It should have driven him away, and maybe deep down in his heart he still has his doubts that he's good enough for Shindou.
But like hell he'd let them have the satisfaction. He loved Shindou Takuto, and no amount of money or social class would stop that.
He'd be his knight.]
They won't.
[His words sound so confident, cheek resting against the top of his head, trying not to tear up, himself.]
Whatever they say about me, I don't care. It'll only double my efforts to be with you.
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These words, the voice he speaks it in, the strong arms that wrap around and hold him in place. Just like this, Tsurugi held him together. A part of him felt ashamed. Embarrassed. As the elder, he should be the one to support him. He should be the one to help Tsurugi, to assure him that he could be here. Shindou was fortunate enough to always have belonged at Raimon. Tsurugi had to struggle, to give up belonging anywhere for such a long time, and it was Tenma's warm smile and voice that had moved all their hearts.
That's right. It was he who needed to support Tsurugi. After passing the role of captain onto Tenma, didn't that give him the ability to focus on another individual more? It was something he could never have afforded if he still wore that red band around his arm... yet here he was, letting Tsurugi's kindness spoil him, weak, unreliable.
Whatever they say about me, I don't care. Why did he have to make Tsurugi bear with something this all over again? But letting him go wasn't even an option they could bear with.]
Thank you. Thank you, Tsurugi, for falling in love with someone like me.
[He lets out a soft sigh, then breathes in. With the last of his remaining energy, he pulls away just enough to tilt his head back, craning his neck to bring his face closer to Tsurugi's, seeking his lips in a soft but lingering kiss.]
Me, too. For the first time in a long time, there's something I truly don't want to let go of. I hope... I hope you don't think you'd have to fight alone.
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It was because of God's Baton, Shindou himself that they could win Holy Road.
The kiss lasts as long as his breath can hold itself, putting every ounce of affection into it before lifting up, only giving himself an inch between them as they curl together between the blankets. His voice tickles Shindou's ear as he speaks, it's low tone almost too soft to catch.]
You've never been one to stand down once you believe in something. Not since I showed up in your life.
[It was true, the moment Tsurugi appeared, he'd awakened the Maestro in the boy, and (unintentionally at the time) his fighting spirit. A choice when, looking back on it, was probably one of the only positive things to come out of his behaviour back then. How much longer would Shindou have continued to play a soccer so lifeless?]
This year, starting today, we'll be by each others sides.
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He'd listened to the music of many masters over the years, classic and contemporary, domestic and foreign. He'd listened to almost every genre that his family or teacher introduced him to, then some more on his own as he grew older. Yet, more than any of those men and woman, more than any of their greatest pieces in history, he finds this to be the most beautiful. The sound of Tsurugi Kyousuke's voice as it murmurs words only for him... his favorite melody.]
You're right. I didn't know what to do, until that day, but you entered my life and helped awaken something in me -- I feel that I've been pushed along by your presence ever since. You inspire me to keep growing stronger...
[His cheeks are still flushed, perhaps so warm that Tsurugi can feel it against his skin from their closeness, but Shindou doesn't feel shy about it as he leans in again, closing the distance between their lips for a third time.]
You've helped light the path at my feet for all this time. With you here I'm not afraid of getting lost, anymore. I love you, Kyousuke.
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It's funny, when he'd originally woken Shindou's fighting spirit, it wasn't with the intention to make him stronger. Tsurugi was gentle at heart, but at that point in time, he'd had to play a much different role. He'd originally intended to break Shindou down until the pieces couldn't be recognized. Maybe he'd underestimated the strength of the boy at the time, but now...it was all too obvious just by looking at him that his strength was something that shown brighter with each passing day.
God's Baton was not misgiven. He truly was meant to guide others with his own strength.
Their lips connect once more, and Tsurugi's own lean forward to meet them eagerly. It lingers a few moments, but just quick enough for it to be chaste and fleeting, as Shindou speaks again.
The words he loved hearing the most, and the ones that grip his heart so tightly that he feels it could burst. With a nuzzle into the top of Shindou's head, he pulls him closer once more, inhaling deeper than he'd thought his lungs could handle, exhaling and closing his eyes with the most satisfying sigh.]
I love you too, Takuto.
I love you, too.
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To be able to stay like this with him, forever, would be such a wonderful thing.
His eyes drift closed as well, sleepiness catching hold of him again. He snuggles into Tsurugi's chest, sighing when every breath brings with it Tsurugi's smell. This was his favorite place to be.]
Tomorrow, [he says, his voice already a little slurred from the sleepiness trying to take hold of him. Feeling so safe in Tsurugi's arms, it was hard to fight the call of sleep now.] Tomorrow, when we go to the shrine with the others, I'd like to hold your hand.
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Not since he was a child, at least. And this was something he never wanted to let go of.
Shindou's request goes without saying, naturally. He'd certainly accompany him throughout the whole day at the shrine. His hand moves, glossing over Shindou's back tenderly, his fingers brushing along his shirt and to his shoulder, down his arm...
All the way until he finds that hand, peeling it away from his torso gently and putting it in his own. His soft skin was like silk between his fingers, as he threads his own inbetween the spaces Shindou's makes, lacing them together.
Pulling it up gently, his lips press to Shindou's fingertips, eyes still closed and breath still warm.]
I won't let go.
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His own fingers curl -- interlacing, weaving together -- as he lets out a laugh like a giggle, nodding happily at Tsurugi's declaration.]
Me neither.
[Tomorrow, they'll leave this room together and meet up with the others. They'll hold hands. They could -- they would tell their friends, and he's sure they'll accept and even celebrate for them that their relationship had come this far. Most of them probably know already -- not much gets past Kirino, at least.
He loves Tsurugi Kyousuke, and this year, he thinks he wants the world to know.]