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[He realized it the moment the boy started speaking. The readied meal, the box presented to him, Hakuryuu's attitude. The date.
His words only confirm that hunch, and blue eyes are slightly wide as they meet the boy's deep magenta, lips slightly parted as they fall out of their usual careful knit.
He knew what he was to Hakuryuu legally. He knew that he had to write in his surname when adopting the boy on paper. He was his guardian, the one who held custody over him. His parent.
This is for you. For Father's Day.
All that he needed was for Hakuryuu to accept this house and be comfortable enough to live his life. For the boy not to be in fear. For him to have enough freedom to choose his life. He would do everything to ensure that level of happiness. Until, one day, Hakuryuu can find a place to call his own...
He never expected to be thanked in this way, with those words, on this day, but as is sinks in that this truly is happening, he feels warmth spread through him, blossoming from his chest and reaching out.
He also reaches out, kneeling with one knee on the couch beside his 'son,' arms wrapping around his shoulders and tugging him close in a soft embrace.]
[Hakuryuu knew the difference. He knew what it meant to be a guardian and what it meant to be a father. At least, he'd heard stories from the people from Zero who actually had parents, what theirs were like. None of their descriptions matched who his 'guardians' had been. He'd considered this very seriously, parsing through his brain and debating what Fudou would be best labeled as. And every time he tried--every time Shuu had asked what sounded the most 'right'--"father" fit the bill most of all. It put his heart in a vulnerable position, laying it bare and ready to be stricken down by the words he feared most: rejection. His mind said that would be okay--he would understand.
His heart was a different story.
Fudou speaks, and he can feel frost start to form on his heart, the next moment truly deciding his place in the Fudou household. Did he want to be considered Fudou's son? More than he'd ever truly admit. Was Fudou kind enough that it wouldn't be out of the question? He thinks so. However, none of that is any consolation as his eyes clamp down tight, unable to meet that gaze any longer.
All this and Fudou had only said his name.
Moments pass, and with each one the silence is more and more unbearable, the only sound being Fudou's footsteps approaching and eventually hearing the couch give way to his weight. The sound of his breath echoes through his ears, something he heard so often when he lie half awake, too scared to fall asleep when night terrors reared their ugly heads. Another moment passing without a word said.
And just then, when Hakuryuu felt suffocated by the silence, he feels those familiar, strong arms wrap around him, pull him closer until he can feel the fabric of Fudou's track jacket and the beat of his heart. Magenta eyes snap open, staring robotically into the coffee table in front of them as all this tries to process. Was this...acceptance?
Fudou's words only confirm this to be so--and Hakuryuu can feel his arms inching up to snake around the man's torso. Latching on before this moment escapes him. His cheeks flush pink, either in warmth or sheer embarrassment of the situation.]
I...It's nothing. Not compared to what you do for me.
[His face buries into that jacket, feeling the scratchy material rub against his cheeks, and for once not caring how childish this might look.
[It might be childish, but Fudou Akio is the last person to mind that. Having grown up without much opportunity to bury himself like this in his own parents, he relishes in this feeling, in the warmth of being able to give the chance to someone else. Hakuryuu's strong, but small, hands wrap around to his back, and in all honesty, nothing has felt more right for Fudou in a very long time.
With a smile, he situates himself more properly on the couch and gives the boy in his arms a squeeze.]
I'm your parent, aren't I? It's only natural I take care of you.
[The words ring endlessly like a bell in Hakuryuu's head. Sure, one could deduce with context clues that Fudou had already accepted the role of parent to him. One could go out on a limb and say that his acceptance of the gift and the embrace were confession enough. But Hakuryuu often spoke and listened in absolutes. Without confirmation, he'd always be wondering what exactly their place was. Where they stood in this apartment.
So hearing him say that...
"I'm your parent, aren't I?"
It echoes, bouncing against the walls of his skull and slowly starting to sink in with each second. Fingernails dig into that jacket, his face trying desperately to hide the formation of tears starting to pool around his eyes.
He doesn't speak, only nodding his head against that chest and hoping that's enough for Fudou to get out of this. He'd be strong in a minute. He'd go back to saying everything confidently and formally. But right now he just wants to soak in that he has what the other kids at God Eden had now.
Someone to come home to, someone to ask about his homework.
[They certainly did. Fudou tries to remember the last time he held his own parents the way Hakuryuu clung to him now, grasping for any memory he could find of strong arms holding his then-smaller body, wondering when the last time he buried his face into someone else's shirt was. His father wasted away under the stress of debt collectors banging at the door every day and his mother's blaming him for everything that had happened.
... That's right.
The last time he was this close to either of his parents, it was when his mother held him in her arms and told him those words. To get revenge. To curse everything in the world that had brought them to that point. Her arms were painful and burned into his skin like heated iron branding him.
He hopes the arms that Hakuryuu feels around him now are much kinder, safer. Something to protect him rather than to chain him to some painful agenda. He raises one hand, feeling the long, wavy hair the boy grew out and tied back, then the shock of unruly hair that stuck out in all directions. A hair style similar to his, someone had once commented. He smiles to himself then, dropping his hand to run it through those messy strands.]
[His head shakes stubbornly, denying the man's gratitude for just a moment. Not that he Fudou shouldn't--that it wasn't his place to--but it wasn't the right thing to say in Hakuryuu's mind for the moment. In his eyes, this wasn't a time for Fudou to be thankful of him, but the other way around.
After all the man had done for him...he still wound up saying thanks first.
So this time, Hakuryuu was going to correct it.]
No, Fudou-san.
[His smile presses into that jacket, lips creasing the fabric as he all but nuzzles into it--an attempt to dry his tears so he could continue.]
It's father's day. Thank you for everything you've given me. His house, food, a room...a family.
[He exhales, letting his feelings settle before continuing.]
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no subject
[He realized it the moment the boy started speaking. The readied meal, the box presented to him, Hakuryuu's attitude. The date.
His words only confirm that hunch, and blue eyes are slightly wide as they meet the boy's deep magenta, lips slightly parted as they fall out of their usual careful knit.
He knew what he was to Hakuryuu legally. He knew that he had to write in his surname when adopting the boy on paper. He was his guardian, the one who held custody over him. His parent.
This is for you. For Father's Day.
All that he needed was for Hakuryuu to accept this house and be comfortable enough to live his life. For the boy not to be in fear. For him to have enough freedom to choose his life. He would do everything to ensure that level of happiness. Until, one day, Hakuryuu can find a place to call his own...
He never expected to be thanked in this way, with those words, on this day, but as is sinks in that this truly is happening, he feels warmth spread through him, blossoming from his chest and reaching out.
He also reaches out, kneeling with one knee on the couch beside his 'son,' arms wrapping around his shoulders and tugging him close in a soft embrace.]
Thank you, Hakuryuu. This is-- it's really nice.
no subject
His heart was a different story.
Fudou speaks, and he can feel frost start to form on his heart, the next moment truly deciding his place in the Fudou household. Did he want to be considered Fudou's son? More than he'd ever truly admit. Was Fudou kind enough that it wouldn't be out of the question? He thinks so. However, none of that is any consolation as his eyes clamp down tight, unable to meet that gaze any longer.
All this and Fudou had only said his name.
Moments pass, and with each one the silence is more and more unbearable, the only sound being Fudou's footsteps approaching and eventually hearing the couch give way to his weight. The sound of his breath echoes through his ears, something he heard so often when he lie half awake, too scared to fall asleep when night terrors reared their ugly heads. Another moment passing without a word said.
And just then, when Hakuryuu felt suffocated by the silence, he feels those familiar, strong arms wrap around him, pull him closer until he can feel the fabric of Fudou's track jacket and the beat of his heart. Magenta eyes snap open, staring robotically into the coffee table in front of them as all this tries to process. Was this...acceptance?
Fudou's words only confirm this to be so--and Hakuryuu can feel his arms inching up to snake around the man's torso. Latching on before this moment escapes him. His cheeks flush pink, either in warmth or sheer embarrassment of the situation.]
I...It's nothing. Not compared to what you do for me.
[His face buries into that jacket, feeling the scratchy material rub against his cheeks, and for once not caring how childish this might look.
Maybe he wants to feel like a child for once.]
no subject
With a smile, he situates himself more properly on the couch and gives the boy in his arms a squeeze.]
I'm your parent, aren't I? It's only natural I take care of you.
no subject
So hearing him say that...
"I'm your parent, aren't I?"
It echoes, bouncing against the walls of his skull and slowly starting to sink in with each second. Fingernails dig into that jacket, his face trying desperately to hide the formation of tears starting to pool around his eyes.
He doesn't speak, only nodding his head against that chest and hoping that's enough for Fudou to get out of this. He'd be strong in a minute. He'd go back to saying everything confidently and formally. But right now he just wants to soak in that he has what the other kids at God Eden had now.
Someone to come home to, someone to ask about his homework.
Someone he'd miss and would miss him.
Kids take that stuff for granted, don't they.]
no subject
... That's right.
The last time he was this close to either of his parents, it was when his mother held him in her arms and told him those words. To get revenge. To curse everything in the world that had brought them to that point. Her arms were painful and burned into his skin like heated iron branding him.
He hopes the arms that Hakuryuu feels around him now are much kinder, safer. Something to protect him rather than to chain him to some painful agenda. He raises one hand, feeling the long, wavy hair the boy grew out and tied back, then the shock of unruly hair that stuck out in all directions. A hair style similar to his, someone had once commented. He smiles to himself then, dropping his hand to run it through those messy strands.]
Thanks, Hakuryuu, for letting me be your family.
no subject
After all the man had done for him...he still wound up saying thanks first.
So this time, Hakuryuu was going to correct it.]
No, Fudou-san.
[His smile presses into that jacket, lips creasing the fabric as he all but nuzzles into it--an attempt to dry his tears so he could continue.]
It's father's day. Thank you for everything you've given me. His house, food, a room...a family.
[He exhales, letting his feelings settle before continuing.]
Someone I could celebrate today with.