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[He wrote and rewrote the text about half a dozen times before he simply gave up. Sitting on the stacked-up rubber tires inside a now-empty Raimon clubroom (with Endou still dribbling the ball somewhere outside, the only other one remaining on campus today), he finally closes the messages tab of his phone and clicks through to start a call instead, hand sweaty and on the verge of shaking as he watches the phone dial.
Kiyama Hiroto.
A good guy. With a gentle smile, soft voice, and soothing calmness in the face of pressure. Something he'd learned when they captained Inazuma Japan together during the match against Argentina.
But also, the most terrifying man Kazemaru knew, second to Endou Mamoru himself. There were still some occasions when he remembered the sharp, piercing glare he received from Gran. Like now. As he presses the phone to his ear and imagines just what sort of painful, awful death Hiroto might sentence him to for the way he was with Midorikawa the other day. After taking the chocolate, postponing the answer, and making him go home.
... He's going to die for real this time, he knows it.]
[Hiroto had been wrangling some of the younger Sun Gardeners when his phone had rang. Apparently Ruru had wanted to play wedding that day, and Kimiyuki was going to great lengths to avoid being cast as the groom in the situation. And with him playing keep-a-way while Ruru played chase, he had to let his phone ring a few times before he ushered an excitable Ruru back to the kitchen to help the girls with preparing the rice for dinner.
No one really questioned how Hiroto could bring peace ot a situation, two loud kids now becoming at least pacified after his words reach their ears. Kimiyuki gave his thanks to him, saying something about 'saving his life' before scurrying back to the little alcove he called his 'spot', while Hiroto went to pick up his phone in the now-empty room.
The name strikes lightning to his heart.
Kazemaru Ichirouta.
A topic of not-very-much discussion after what had happened only a few days ago. Midorikawa had been recovering, although still quite heartbroken over the lack of good news. Reina had refused to comment on it, which meant that she was probably the most angry one of them all, and while Fuusuke and Haruya had stated they hadn't cared, the way their eyebrows furrowed at the news was telling enough. Things were a little heated when it came to the blue-haired boy Midorikawa had fancied.
Forever the diplomat, though, Hiroto had held out hope. That it was something big that Kazemaru couldn't honestly decide on in one day, or immediately. He'd played with him on Inazuma Japan. He'd seen that boy crumple underneath his own heel.
He knew what a big leap it was.
So its with a tug of his heart and a pleading smile that he flips open his phone, putting it to his ear and greeting his caller cheerfully.]
Kazemaru-kun?
[Reina must have bat-like hearing, because the way her head snapped around that corner with eyes narrowed had caused him to immediately retreat outside. Best...best not to have this conversation indoors.]
[Hiroto answers and doesn't immediately hang up. Which, he supposes, is as good of a start as he could hope for. Kazemaru hopes that the cheerful done that calls his name isn't just the precursor to a lot of pain as he listens briefly to the sound of a baseball bat hitting a ball in the distance, followed by some muffled cheering, playing with the fraying end of his shoelace as he answers the voice on the other end.]
Hey, Hiroto. Um... sorry to call you all of a sudden.
Uh, you probably know about it since you live with him, but Midorikawa. He came to see me the other day and -- I thought about calling him directly, but I didn't know if he'd want to talk to me after...
[He stops. Takes a deep breath. And continues.]
I asked if he could give me some time, to think. And I meant it. But I think I ended up hurting him with that response, too. If I said I wanted to give him an answer, do you think he'd let me see him?
[Something he honestly would have said whether he was busy or not. With another check to make sure he's not needed in the house, he listens to Kazemaru's situation. Not an unfamiliar one....he'd only just gotten the boy back to eating properly after he'd cried his eyes out in his arms. Something he hoped he could bounce back from, and something he wished he could fix. But not something he would hold against Kazemaru.]
It's not an easy decision. You wanted to be sure of your feelings before you told him.
[It's taking someone's heart and holding it for them. And if you're unsure about your feelings, the fear of breaking it is a very real thing. It's not something anyone wants to do to someone so close to them, and he knows Kazemaru has suffered with feeling inadequate before. Maybe he didn't feel like he could hold Midorikawa's heart without dropping it, maybe he didn't feel like his feelings would be as strong as the ones Midorikawa gave him.
Maybe it was too much of a surprise to answer right away.
No matter what the reason, though, Kazemaru had called him up to ask permission to see Midorikawa again to give him his answer. There's something solidifying about that. And so...he'll give his own honest answer in return.]
I think...
[He pauses a moment, weighing on his words. He can't be too naive with this--Midorikawa was very special to him, and the idea of sending him off to get his heart broken was a very real one. It wasn't his business to demand the answer out of Kazemaru before he could properly give it to Midorikawa, and he certainly wouldn't ask...but he had to show a little more caution than the blind faith he put into most people.
There's a soft, but gentle exhale, his words as gentle as before, and with a little hope.]
If you'll give him an honest answer, I can talk the others into letting him see you. You're a good friend, Kazemaru-kun.
[Hiroto's response comes just as slowly as Kazemaru's request, and the entire time he speaks, Kazemaru remains patient. There's no interruption, not a sound of urgency or impatience -- only a sigh of what sounds like relief when the answer is finally given.
On his end of the line, Kazemaru slumps, body held up as it leans back with a hand braced against the other side of the tire he's on. In the silence of the otherwise-empty clubroom, all he can hear is the ticking of the clock, his own heart beating, and the faint sound of after-school ambience outside. Thump, thump -- slow, deafening, loud enough he's afraid he might not hear Hiroto's voice over it. And yet, the words reach him.]
... Thank you.
[He pulls a leg up on the tire, dropping his forehead to it.]
I'm not going to lie to him. I don't want to do anything like... just giving him an answer to appease him, or letting him down easy, or any of those things.
I have an answer, and it comes from my heart. And he came all the way out here to tell me his feelings, so I want to make that effort, too.
[Hiroto makes his way over to the swingset, finger pulling one closer as he sits himself down onto it. It was always this one he found himself gravitating towards when he wanted some time to himself. His feet push forward a little, letting the inertia slow him down as he listens to Kazemaru's explanation.
There's a smile as he listens. It's not happy, per say...after all, this situation was still kind of up in the air as they spoke, and he had no idea what Kazemaru's verdict was...but he trusted the boy with his best friend.
He knew that Midorikawa above all else deserved the truth.]
Then that's the very best you can do for him, Kazemaru-kun.
I want to thank you for being honest with him. It's easy to give an answer right away before you truly think about it....and I think that would have been the ideal way in Midorikawa's head...[And his heart]
But sometimes, it's not all that realistic. More than anything, I want him to have your true feelings.
[He doesn't say what his answer is. The first person who should hear that should be Midorikawa himself, thinks a strange, rigid part of his mind. He doesn't know what the rules to these situations are, or if there even are rules, but that felt like the best, most correct, way to go about things.]
... So.
... Do you think I'd survive coming up to where you guys are.
[It's lighthearted and teasing, but Hiroto makes sure to let his voice carry that tone enough to not completely scare Kazemaru. He knows that his influence as Gran stretched far into people's perception of him...but he couldn't give up light teasing all together.]
Well, not without some help, at least. I'll help you get an audience with him, so you don't have to worry about having to fight your way in.
...
Reina's...very protective of him, but I think I can talk her into being civil until you have your talk. Haruya and Fuusuke...they'll just listen in.
[For Kazemaru, who left Inazuma Caravan halfway through the journey, he didn't know anything about most of the action. Who even is Reina. Who the fuck are Haruya and Fuusuke. He remembers the two they met from FFI. Were they the ones? Even on the occasional reunion with Sun Garden members, Kazemaru usually hung back or was too busy keeping an eye on the underclassmen of Raimon to really get to learn all fifty-five members' names. And the result of that was...]
[Oh right. Not everyone knows them by their actual names. There's an embarrassed catch of his voice, stumbling for something to really say that isn't an apology]
Ah, sorry... [Well that worked out well.]
I'll provide a list with some...visual guidance. There's a lot.
[That gets an honest laugh out of him, swinging idly with his heels to push him as his gaze turns up to the sky. It wasn't often Hiroto got to have small talk like this with people outside of Sun Garden.
Well, you know, that whole Neo Japan thing... I'm pretty sure even Endou nearly got a couple grey hairs out of that. [as if]
Even if it weren't for Midorikawa, though, I think us Raimon -- Inazuma Japan -- should make more efforts to know soccer players from other places, too. It's something we all share.
[He's not surprised by Kazemaru's comment. His skin tone did him no favours when it came to the extreme parts of either weather. Too much sun and he burnt like a lobster. Too much snow and everyone worried his fingers would fall off from the circulation that was already not all that apparent in his systems. He felt healthy, of course, but he honestly couldn't blame everyone for worrying.
He knew he was pale.
There's a smile beyond the feed, leaning in to the phone a little as his breath catches a slight chuckle, sending static through the line.]
I promise I'll dress accordingly. I don't mind the cold...but people rightfully worry about me in it.
Mm. Perhaps the most important thing I've learned, and to think it came from him just wanting to play soccer with us.
[A wistful sigh, idly rocking on that swing. Reina would be wondering what was taking him so long with this phone call. Something he'd have to reassure her was just idle chitchat with Kazemaru, and some reassurance on Midorikawa's situation.
Kimiyuki was at the door peeking out too...he probably was looking for Hiro-nii to tuck him in. A smile forms on his lips as he stands up, starting to make his way back to the house.]
...Thank you for calling, Kazemaru-kun. I know it seems like a formality, or even a risk, but I'm very glad you did.
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VALENTINE'S DISASTER, THE SECOND HALF.
Kiyama Hiroto.
A good guy. With a gentle smile, soft voice, and soothing calmness in the face of pressure. Something he'd learned when they captained Inazuma Japan together during the match against Argentina.
But also, the most terrifying man Kazemaru knew, second to Endou Mamoru himself. There were still some occasions when he remembered the sharp, piercing glare he received from Gran. Like now. As he presses the phone to his ear and imagines just what sort of painful, awful death Hiroto might sentence him to for the way he was with Midorikawa the other day. After taking the chocolate, postponing the answer, and making him go home.
... He's going to die for real this time, he knows it.]
no subject
No one really questioned how Hiroto could bring peace ot a situation, two loud kids now becoming at least pacified after his words reach their ears. Kimiyuki gave his thanks to him, saying something about 'saving his life' before scurrying back to the little alcove he called his 'spot', while Hiroto went to pick up his phone in the now-empty room.
The name strikes lightning to his heart.
Kazemaru Ichirouta.
A topic of not-very-much discussion after what had happened only a few days ago. Midorikawa had been recovering, although still quite heartbroken over the lack of good news. Reina had refused to comment on it, which meant that she was probably the most angry one of them all, and while Fuusuke and Haruya had stated they hadn't cared, the way their eyebrows furrowed at the news was telling enough. Things were a little heated when it came to the blue-haired boy Midorikawa had fancied.
Forever the diplomat, though, Hiroto had held out hope. That it was something big that Kazemaru couldn't honestly decide on in one day, or immediately. He'd played with him on Inazuma Japan. He'd seen that boy crumple underneath his own heel.
He knew what a big leap it was.
So its with a tug of his heart and a pleading smile that he flips open his phone, putting it to his ear and greeting his caller cheerfully.]
Kazemaru-kun?
[Reina must have bat-like hearing, because the way her head snapped around that corner with eyes narrowed had caused him to immediately retreat outside. Best...best not to have this conversation indoors.]
no subject
Hey, Hiroto. Um... sorry to call you all of a sudden.
Uh, you probably know about it since you live with him, but Midorikawa. He came to see me the other day and -- I thought about calling him directly, but I didn't know if he'd want to talk to me after...
[He stops. Takes a deep breath. And continues.]
I asked if he could give me some time, to think. And I meant it. But I think I ended up hurting him with that response, too. If I said I wanted to give him an answer, do you think he'd let me see him?
[Another pause.]
... Would you guys let me see him?
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[Something he honestly would have said whether he was busy or not. With another check to make sure he's not needed in the house, he listens to Kazemaru's situation. Not an unfamiliar one....he'd only just gotten the boy back to eating properly after he'd cried his eyes out in his arms. Something he hoped he could bounce back from, and something he wished he could fix. But not something he would hold against Kazemaru.]
It's not an easy decision. You wanted to be sure of your feelings before you told him.
[It's taking someone's heart and holding it for them. And if you're unsure about your feelings, the fear of breaking it is a very real thing. It's not something anyone wants to do to someone so close to them, and he knows Kazemaru has suffered with feeling inadequate before. Maybe he didn't feel like he could hold Midorikawa's heart without dropping it, maybe he didn't feel like his feelings would be as strong as the ones Midorikawa gave him.
Maybe it was too much of a surprise to answer right away.
No matter what the reason, though, Kazemaru had called him up to ask permission to see Midorikawa again to give him his answer. There's something solidifying about that. And so...he'll give his own honest answer in return.]
I think...
[He pauses a moment, weighing on his words. He can't be too naive with this--Midorikawa was very special to him, and the idea of sending him off to get his heart broken was a very real one. It wasn't his business to demand the answer out of Kazemaru before he could properly give it to Midorikawa, and he certainly wouldn't ask...but he had to show a little more caution than the blind faith he put into most people.
There's a soft, but gentle exhale, his words as gentle as before, and with a little hope.]
If you'll give him an honest answer, I can talk the others into letting him see you. You're a good friend, Kazemaru-kun.
I trust you with it.
no subject
On his end of the line, Kazemaru slumps, body held up as it leans back with a hand braced against the other side of the tire he's on. In the silence of the otherwise-empty clubroom, all he can hear is the ticking of the clock, his own heart beating, and the faint sound of after-school ambience outside. Thump, thump -- slow, deafening, loud enough he's afraid he might not hear Hiroto's voice over it. And yet, the words reach him.]
... Thank you.
[He pulls a leg up on the tire, dropping his forehead to it.]
I'm not going to lie to him. I don't want to do anything like... just giving him an answer to appease him, or letting him down easy, or any of those things.
I have an answer, and it comes from my heart. And he came all the way out here to tell me his feelings, so I want to make that effort, too.
no subject
[Hiroto makes his way over to the swingset, finger pulling one closer as he sits himself down onto it. It was always this one he found himself gravitating towards when he wanted some time to himself. His feet push forward a little, letting the inertia slow him down as he listens to Kazemaru's explanation.
There's a smile as he listens. It's not happy, per say...after all, this situation was still kind of up in the air as they spoke, and he had no idea what Kazemaru's verdict was...but he trusted the boy with his best friend.
He knew that Midorikawa above all else deserved the truth.]
Then that's the very best you can do for him, Kazemaru-kun.
I want to thank you for being honest with him. It's easy to give an answer right away before you truly think about it....and I think that would have been the ideal way in Midorikawa's head...[And his heart]
But sometimes, it's not all that realistic. More than anything, I want him to have your true feelings.
Thank you, for giving him that respect.
no subject
[He doesn't say what his answer is. The first person who should hear that should be Midorikawa himself, thinks a strange, rigid part of his mind. He doesn't know what the rules to these situations are, or if there even are rules, but that felt like the best, most correct, way to go about things.]
... So.
... Do you think I'd survive coming up to where you guys are.
no subject
[It's lighthearted and teasing, but Hiroto makes sure to let his voice carry that tone enough to not completely scare Kazemaru. He knows that his influence as Gran stretched far into people's perception of him...but he couldn't give up light teasing all together.]
Well, not without some help, at least. I'll help you get an audience with him, so you don't have to worry about having to fight your way in.
...
Reina's...very protective of him, but I think I can talk her into being civil until you have your talk. Haruya and Fuusuke...they'll just listen in.
no subject
[For Kazemaru, who left Inazuma Caravan halfway through the journey, he didn't know anything about most of the action. Who even is Reina. Who the fuck are Haruya and Fuusuke. He remembers the two they met from FFI. Were they the ones? Even on the occasional reunion with Sun Garden members, Kazemaru usually hung back or was too busy keeping an eye on the underclassmen of Raimon to really get to learn all fifty-five members' names. And the result of that was...]
I think I need a roster of your family first.
no subject
[Oh right. Not everyone knows them by their actual names. There's an embarrassed catch of his voice, stumbling for something to really say that isn't an apology]
Ah, sorry... [Well that worked out well.]
I'll provide a list with some...visual guidance. There's a lot.
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... Saginuma? [Neo Japan sure was a time.]
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The place was a bit out of the way...]
He's hard to forget, isn't he.
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Even if it weren't for Midorikawa, though, I think us Raimon -- Inazuma Japan -- should make more efforts to know soccer players from other places, too. It's something we all share.
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[On better terms, at least.]
Soccer connected our hearts in more ways than one.
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Are you okay with the cold, Hiroto? You look like the type to freeze.
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He knew he was pale.
There's a smile beyond the feed, leaning in to the phone a little as his breath catches a slight chuckle, sending static through the line.]
I promise I'll dress accordingly. I don't mind the cold...but people rightfully worry about me in it.
[Hitomiko and Reina, especially.]
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I want to get to know all of you, too. Even the ones I didn't get to meet.
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I'm sure of it.
[His voice soothes through the phone, the warm smile unable to hide itself from his lips.]
To be accepted back by people who we hurt in the past...I think there's no greater gift than that.
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[Kazemaru's voice softens too, like a warmth summer breeze than the cold fast winds he usually made blow across the soccer fields.]
Accepting, no matter what... that's the soccer Endou taught us.
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[A wistful sigh, idly rocking on that swing. Reina would be wondering what was taking him so long with this phone call. Something he'd have to reassure her was just idle chitchat with Kazemaru, and some reassurance on Midorikawa's situation.
Kimiyuki was at the door peeking out too...he probably was looking for Hiro-nii to tuck him in. A smile forms on his lips as he stands up, starting to make his way back to the house.]
...Thank you for calling, Kazemaru-kun. I know it seems like a formality, or even a risk, but I'm very glad you did.
When you're ready, I'll handle everything.
no subject
I'll keep in touch. I'll text you next time.