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[He could believe it. Back in his days when he'd only come to Raimon as a Seed to make sure he could bring the soccer team's downfall, he'd known Shindou had worn his heart on his sleeve. What didn't show through his tears was often shown in his eyes, his voice, and from what he can gather from Kirino and Shindou's mother's agreement...his music. A part of him wondered if those keys were ever pushed in anger at him. Maybe...he certainly hadn't made the best impression to Shindou Takuto on day 1 of middle school. But now, they seemed to be playing with nothing but affection for him, something Tsurugi can only imagine what that sounds like. A symphony made with one instrument, one person.
Shindou could pull something like that off.
He follows Shindou into his room, and his eyes immediately glance around to the surroundings of the room. It was beautifully decorated, with matching furniture (actual furniture and not just a dresser and a bed!) and piano, a giant bed off to the side. White seemed to be most of the theme, the black piano contrasting starkly against it that Tsurugi could joke to himself that he had to adjust his eyes to. It was so very Shindou, he thinks to himself with a smile, as his red shirt and purple pants practically splash against the white canvas of the room like fingerpaints. He often was the only one in his grade that didn't wear the uniform, but he'd never felt more like a sore thumb than right now.
He smiles, hands removing themselves from his pockets as he looks for a place to sit. The couch seemed like the best option, seating himself gently and resting his chin on one of those hands.]
Take your time, I'm not going to try and escape just yet.
[A joke, the low tones of his voice curling into amusement as he speaks, eyes closing.]
Haha. [The laughter, unlike his usual, almost regal chuckles, sounds more like a giggle.] That was a possibility I didn't even think about. I appreciate the reassurance.
[With that said, and his guest now seated (hopefully comfortably) on the couch, Shindou moves to do as he said: changing. His school uniform got washed regularly anyway, but he didn't like to wear it for too long after school; it would only get dirtier faster that way, and if it got wrinkled, he would have to ask somebody to iron it. He knew how to do it himself from Home Ec classes, but even he and his desire to be more independent couldn't argue against the maids' insistence that he shouldn't do things that risked him hurting his hands.
The uniform is shed and carefully put away, replaced instead by a grey fine-knit sweater and a pair of brown pants. He doesn't make a show of it but the changing is still done without any shame or embarrassment about having Tsurugi there. That is, although he took care of himself and his surroundings mostly independently nowadays, when he was younger he was taken care of by servants for this and that; he didn't think anything of undressing in the presence of somebody else at this point, and Tsurugi was a member of the same soccer team, besides. With their lockers close to each other's, it's not like this was anything new.
Little does he know that not everybody is so nonchalant about things like this.]
[Let's make one thing clear: Tsurugi is not someone who flinches at the sight of people undressing. He was an athlete, and he'd been in countless locker rooms with a bunch of boys switching out their clothes, and group baths where it was practically necessary. It does not phase him in the slightest seeing a boy take off his shirt.
This completely changes when it's your boyfriend, and that's something Tsurugi finds out the minute he opens his eyes. Suddenly, he didn't see Shindou as the athlete friend he knew. He sees him as his boyfriend, and those amber eyes shockingly freeze at the sight of the boy's bare back, turned away from him and reaching for that sweater.
It's amazing how every muscle suddenly becomes neon highlighted, how every movement is enough to bring flush to your cheeks. Tsurugi's palm presses itself hard against his lips, fingers wrapping around his cheek as he both wants to fixate his gaze on something else (that piano was looking VERY INTERESTING RIGHT NOW) and yet unable to turn away. The way his hair brushes against his neck, leaving just enough space between his back and his head...
Focus, Kyousuke.
His own conscience snaps him out of it pupils contracting back to their slit-like appearance. He couldn't stare too long--boyfriend or not that would be pretty creepy... So instead, he goes back to how Shindou had seen him before turning around: eyes closed and gripping his face with every intent of squeezing the embarrassment out of him. With his eyes closed again, he takes this time to compose himself, letting both the image of his boyfriend sear into his brain and yet try and erase it from his eyelids in hopes of being able to handle this situation maturely. Because he's pretty sure that if he were to speak right now, incomprehensible babble was all that was going to come out.
He does know one thing, though. He was crazy for Shindou Takuto, and this proved it in more ways than he ever wants to explain.]
[When Shindou does turns around, changed and utterly unaware of Tsurugi's inner turmoil, he's a little confused by the way he's clutching at his face. Tsurugi seems to be lost in thought... but it could be about -- well, what they came here to do in the first place. Though not as tightly, Shindou's hand rises to touch his own lips, and his cheek flushes, embarrassment hitting him in a way that didn't even occur to him until now.
That's right. They were here to --
It was at his request, and his invitation, but now that it's about to happen, butterflies are suddenly fluttering up a storm in his stomach. What would it be like? He hopes it will go well, or all right at least. Anything he does with Tsurugi will be amazing, he knows, but what if he misses? What if Tsurugi thinks his breath smells strange? Should he have asked for something minty for tea?
Nervous, giddy, full of anticipation and hope, Shindou shuffles back to the couch and plops down beside him, bouncing a little on the cushion; it's enough that even with his eyes closed, Tsurugi will be able to feel him move. ]
[When he feels Shindou's weight bounce next to him, his eyes open. There's no mistake that the clothes hide almost nothing now--he's always going to remember the way Shindou looks without them, and while that's something he may have to kind of learn to deal with, it's nothing he doesn't WANT, and those amber eyes seem to have a fleck of light in them they just didn't have before.
Shindou Takuto, from his voice to his eyes to the rest of him...was beautiful.
And he was going to share his first kiss ever with him. A kiss he'd desperately hoped he could pull off his first time without anything embarrassing happening to him. His cheeks flush a little more, and he hopes that his hands can at least hide that until he can get it under control.]
Mm.
[That doesn't seem likely, though, with them so close.]
[He really doesn't understand what Tsurugi is doing. Those fingers seem to almost be digging into his cheeks with how hard he's gripping them, and more than that, Shindou's eyes don't miss the flush that peeks out from behind them and he wants to see more of it. A hand that is smaller than Tsurugi's reaches up to lay over it, thin fingers pressing into the space between the other's.
It brings Shindou and Tsurugi even closer, the ends of his brown hair brushing up against a red-clad shoulder. From here, it's easy to see everything -- he can make out each and every elegant eyelash on Tsurugi's sharp, angled eyes, the exact slope of his handsome nose. And here, he's almost tempted to bury his own nose into the fabric of Tsurugi's shirt. Press against it and breathe in his scent, to memorize it. He wants to know everything.
Reaching for Tsurugi with the hand that was opposite to him, the hand that is closer slides up and hooks onto the curve of Tsurugi's side. Allowing that arm he snakes around the boy's back to pull them even closer together, Shindou peers through his bangs at him with a smile.]
[Shindou Takuto had a gift, and it wasn't God's Baton. No, Shindou's real gift--his real power--was how he was able to make Tsurugi Kyousuke cave at even the slightest request. The moment he makes an advance closer, the moment he can see those brown eyes fixated on them, dark and rich like warm chocolate, his hair perfectly framing his face and brushing against his shoulder...Tsurugi was a lost cause. Shindou's face was so soft and round in comparison to his own angled features, but it only made him more alluring the longer he looked at him. He doesn't want to tear his gaze away either, he wants to memories every little quirk of his lips when they start to smile, ever blink, every feature Shindou had on that delicate face.
Shindou makes sure of that too, looping his arm around his waist to pull them closer, eyes wide and unable to tear away from the boy in front of him.
And just a simple question is enough to have him remove that hand in an instant, slowly taking his palm off his lips and his fingers freeing his face from their grasp. His cheeks, while red from his hand pressed to his face, is flushed a slight pink, completely giving away his reason right there.]
Shindou, I...
[He has no idea where he's going with this, just that he had to say something after he let his mouth go.]
[He's the one who asked Tsurugi to show him his face, but the moment their eyes meet, he finds himself short of breath. Bright, shining eyes like a pair of the most beautiful pieces of citrine, a smile gentler than the softest strum of a harp. He's captured by the flush of his cheeks, both from the hand that had been pressing on it as well as the blood that had risen to them, and they're close, so close, that he expects the quickening beat of his heart to drown out any other sound they could make right now.
Exciting -- well, it certainly was a way to explain it. He feels a similar sting in the back of his throat, reminiscent of the days when he was so much easier to move to tears, but what Shindou's eyes sparkle with now aren't tears but that anticipation they're both feeling, face splitting with a smile that's out of his control.]
It is. It's... almost overwhelming.
[And he doesn't really know where to begin. Although leaning closer seems like a helpful idea. Their bodies press together, Shindou's shoulder fitting against Tsurugi's arm, squeezing the hand he grasped earlier, feeling his knee bump into the other's. From here, he should bring himself in more, keep his eyes open until he's sure they won't bump noses, and then, and then--]
[Overwhelming was a perfect way to describe it. The way his heart pounds, loud enough to drown out the sound of Shindou's voice, mixed with the tingling, ticklish feeling that shot through his stomach at the very sight of Shindou's eyes, gazing into them so close he could make out where the soft flecks of red mixed with the brown. Words don't come--there's nothing more to say than to just do it.
He feels Shindou's weight shift, shoulder pressing into his arm, cradling him with ease as their knees work to sidle next to each other. They're close--too close to do anything other than what they wanted to do. Shindou's breath was warm against his cheeks, the blood rushing to them and giving colour to his pale skintone.
He leans forward, eyes half-lidded and head tilting ever so slightly so that they don't bump noses. This is how he'd seen it in magazines and movies, surely they know what they're doing....
But what if he misses? What if he gets Shindou's chin or his upper lip or (heaven forbid) his nose? His breath stalls, holding there and looking at Shindou's own movements. His eyes shut, knowing that the longer he hesitates to do this, the harder it'll be to go through with hit. His lips, unsure of what they should do, lean forward until there's nothing but an inch between them.
[It's just a kiss. Only a kiss. It's a kiss with Tsurugi, the person he's most comfortable with out of anybody he knows. Somebody he thinks about all the time and wants to get closer to, that he wants stay with and have so many memories of (with), and this is another step toward that. Another step for them to take together.
Only a kiss, but as he slowly drops his eyelids and his view of Tsurugi's face grows narrower, he's suddenly aware of everything else. His quickened heartbeat, how fast -- how loud! -- his breath sounds, and the feel of Tsurugi's breath brushing over his lips as they draw closer. He catches the scent of Tsurugi's shampoo, the smell of what must be his home that lingers on his purple uniform, and his ears fill with the sound of the other's breathing. It's supposed to be a quiet, soundproofed room, but it suddenly feels like there's a cacophony. He could feel his hands growing warm and sweaty, and he hopes it doesn't feel gross to Tsurugi where they rest over his waist and hand.
By now he can feel the warmth of Tsurugi's skin emanating from him. They're so close, ready to touch. The nervousness and embarrassment is nearly overwhelming despite how much he tells himself to get it together, but if they've come this far, there's only going forward! He's about to scrounge up the rest of his courage and close that distance, take the lead because he should as the elder when--
Knock knock knock!
The maid who he'd forgotten was bringing them their tea and snack knocks on the door of his room, and Shindou pulls away from Tsurugi like he'd been zapped, round eyes opened wider than ever before and his face flushed a pink that'll make his best friend's hair jealous.]
[He had in no way prepared for this. Shindou had asked if he wanted to kiss him, and he'd said yes, but he'd never really thought about how this worked. Or just exactly how much his body trembled from his own heartbeat at the thought of kissing the boy he'd only just started dating. His stomach was tied in knots, each swallow was hard and created a lump in his throat he hoped would go away on its own.
They were so close. He could feel Shindou's shaky breath against his lips, warm and inviting. And he would have sealed it there, too, his face leaning forward just a fraction more, the edges of their lips just an inch from touching...
Knock knock knock!
Tsurugi may as well have been electrified by the way he leaps, scooting practically to the other end of the couch in a millisecond, his eyes wide contracted just like a startled wild animal. The sound was so sudden, and he'd been nervous about this whole ordeal to start... His face was flushed a light pink, that hand clamping over his mouth again to turn away as he hears the maid behind the door request for Shindou.
He'll just be over here, trying to collect himself.]
[Shindou barely hears the maid calling for him over the thundering of his heartbeat. He's no Amemiya, but he's sure his heart is going to burst out of his chest. This is the end of it. This is as far as he goes. What does he even do now--
Takuto-sama? the maid calls again, and this time it finally snaps him out of it.]
I-I-- just a second!
[He almost stumbles and falls on his way across the room (he definitely hits his little toe against the coffee table), and he's less than composed when he opens the door. The maid voices her concern for a second at his flushed cheeks, but he quickly assures her that nothing is wrong everything is all right no he doesn't have a fever he was just laughing at something funny! She still looks a little uncertain when she leaves, but when the door closes behind her Shindou sighs with relief that she didn't raise the alarm that the young master had gotten a fever. A mess that would have been...
He shuffles back to the table and the couch where Tsurugi is, setting down the tray and kneeling on the floor on the other side of the coffee table.]
[Tsurugi thanks his stars that Shindou was the one to answer the door, that Shindou was the one who could put on the act and not flounder at an excuse of why his cheeks were suddenly flushed pink, or why it looked like he was completely out of breath when there was no reason to be. Tsurugi, naturally, could play the part of indifference, closing his eyes and turning his head to look out the window, giving the impression that he was just awkward around people in general instead of being caught...
Almost kissing.
He can feel his cheeks reddening again as his eyes close, hoping that the maid would be satisfied with the answer Shindou gave her, despite her worries. She was, in the end, although he can't help but catch her apprehension on the way out. Here's hoping that she only took it as surprise and not something worse...
With the door shut, Tsurugi stiffens up once more, turning to face Shindou as he places that tray down. Where do they even pick up? Was their chance just over now? Did he mess up by not going for it quick enough? Or was it more of a lifesaver that they hadn't kissed just then? Who knows what would've happened if the maid had gotten curious and walked in to see why the young master of the house hadn't answered when called out to...
So many variables going through his head, and yet so few words actually come out.]
I-It's alright.
[A shuffle of his fingers, the tips pressing against each other as his elbows rest on his knees]
Did you...? [His eyes search Shindou, the question sinking into the pits of his throat and drowning there.
Want to try again? That was what he wanted to finish the sentence with.]
[Shindou takes this chance to fully collect himself now, taking the tea cups off the tray, placing one neatly (quietly, without even a clink) in front of Tsurugi, moving the plate of cookies nearby it. The tea is poured just as quietly -- gracefully, a practiced motion -- before Shindou places the teapot back on the tray, taking a slow, deep breath with his hands now in his lap.
It's okay. The maid probably didn't believe him completely, but she won't show back up to question them. That, he knew. That was how things worked in this household, and he couldn't be more grateful for it than in this moment. The snacks have been delivered. He told them they were studying. Unless something incredibly dire comes up, they shouldn't get interrupted again.
It'll be okay.]
Tsuru-- [He speaks up at exactly the same time as Tsurugi does, their voices overlapping briefly before he cuts himself off. Their eyes meet, and one look at those golden eyes let him know that if he wants to hear the rest of that question, he'd probably have to say his first. So he gets up again, back on his feet, moving back to the couch and sitting down next to him once more.]
[Pouring that tea with such elegance, the way his hair falls and curtains it from view for just a moment, wondering just how soft it'd be if he ran his fingers through it...Tea was the last thing on Tsurugi's mind right now, the snacks going by unnoticed as he keeps his eyes on the boy in front of him.
The snacks had been delivered. Shindou told them they were studying. It'd be okay.
At least, that's what he tells himself as Shindou sits down beside him, feeling the heat rising to his cheeks once more as he wonders where this conversation's going to go from here.]
I--
[And then the question is asked, pink flooding Tsurugi's face as he nods just a little too quickly, eyes wide and alert and hair completely on end. He'd wanted nothing more in the past few minutes, honestly, as nervous as he was. He wanted to feel those soft lips against his own that he was just an inch from just moments ago.]
Yes. I'd like to uphold that promise.
[His hands reaching for Shindou's and nervously slipping his fingers underneath to hold them in his own, calloused fingers rubbing against Shindou's much softer, much warmer ones.]
[He sucks in his breath at the contact, brown eyes widening. A tingling spreads from his fingers up his arms, through his shoulders and up and down his spine, and he feels like his hair is standing on end. He feels like every breath he takes is deafeningly loud, echoing through the spacious room. He can't help but have his attention drawn toward Tsurugi's thin, pale, slightly parted lips, the desire to kiss it, after how close they got seconds ago...
He smiles at him, scooting closer and leaning in to bring his body toward him again. His eyelids are already, slowly, falling closed.]
[Shindou's close proximity is breathtaking, feeling a lump in his throat the moment he speaks, the moment those big brown eyes return to him. Everything about him was so round and soft, from his skin to his eyes to his hair...and Tsurugi has to hold himself back from wanting to bury his face into this boy.
He's never felt so lucky in his entire life.
His head moves instinctively closer when Shindou requests, their faces only inches apart. He can feel the boy's warmth, an intoxicating pull drawing their lips together. He wants to kiss them, wondering if they're as soft as the rest of Shindou.
It wouldn't take any effort at all.
His eyelids lower as well, head tilting in a way to accommodate for Shindou's own, leaning forward to try once more. It's just a kiss.
[He feels Tsurugi's hair brush against his cheek before anything else, but it's a brief warning before the rest of the boy catches up and he feels his breath hit his lips again, letting him know they were almost there. This time, there would be no interruptions. Nothing to get in their way, nothing to stop them.
He can count every eyelash that flutters against the other's cheeks, see the thick blue strands of hair that fall across his brows. He can smell the sun and the grass and a little bit of sweat from practice earlier, but mostly he smells that undeniably Tsurugi smell, something he's sure he'll recognize if there's every a day he'll visit his home.
He curls his fingers a little tighter around Tsurugi's as he fully closes his eyes and lets their lips finally meet, his own soft ones pressing against his.]
[He had always heard it'd be like fireworks. That when you kiss someone and you knew they were the one, it would be an explosion of sensation and colour. His eyes are closed when their lips touch, his rough, chapped lips brushing against Shindou's soft ones, tasting the lip gloss almost immediately. Colours dance across his eyelids as his hair stands on end, his body numb from the sensation, letting it soak into every fiber of his being and making sure he remembers every second of this moment. He was kissing Shindou, and he'd never felt more alive in his entire life.
It was soft, curious, and careful, both of them unsure how far they should go. Was just the touch enough? It felt like it to Tsurugi, who'd never kissed before. Their faces didn't collide--their noses didn't bump against each other. As far as kisses go, Tsurugi felt this was perfect.
As perfect as the boy in front of him.
He smiles into the kiss, a sort of bubbly giddiness building in his stomach that betrayed his usual stoic personality. Shindou's lips were like sugar, sweet and soft...marshmallowy if he wanted to compare it. He had nothing else to really compare TO, now that he thinks about it. He could spend his entire day just letting those lips glide across his, the sensation against his much rougher ones like warm vanilla.
Time seems to stop in the moment, and what felt like minutes was in actuality only seconds. When air becomes short, his lips lift from Shindou's own, warm breath exhaling and giving a sigh of satisfaction. Tsurugi didn't often verbally express his emotions often, but his face always said it all.
He was truly, truly happy.]
Shindou-san...
[What does he even say? He's practically breathless.]
[A spark, he remembers his mother saying to him dreamily, once upon a time, when he was younger and smaller and could fit on her lap as she rocked back and forth on a seat in the main sitting room while his father cleared his throat and got out of his seat, muttering something about paperwork that still needed to be looked through. Like starburst, he recalls a red-haired brother-figure of his telling him with a blush to his pale cheeks while his blue-haired wife turned her head away in embarrassment.
As Shindou feels Tsurugi's lips against his own, he feels that both of them were correct, and also that the experience must be different for each person. For him, musical as his life had always been, he sees the colors across his eyelids too bus mostly he hears a suddenly explosion of sound sing in his ears. It's the most beautiful melody he's ever heard, and it leaves him wanting to hear it more. A symphony... a new note in the duet that was his and Tsurugi's. It was fitting, and perfect, and when he feels the curl of Tsurugi's smile into the kiss his heart skips a beat, hopeful that the other was sharing the same joy that he did in this moment.
His chest feels tight. His fingertips tingle. He feels warmth spread through his body from where they touch as if some of Tsurugi's energy were trickling into him, and that's such a lovely thought that it's almost a shame to pull away. The kiss had left him breathless, a fact he only realizes when they finally part and his lungs are suddenly sucking in the air they previously lacked. His cheeks burn -- he's sure they must be red, too -- and his mind seems to be in a bit of a haze as he turns his gaze up to meet Tsurugi's gaze, those brown eyes reflecting awe, joy, and deep, unshakable love.]
... Kyousuke, [he whispers, his voice a faint sound that hisses out from between his lips as his body continues to suck in air.]
[It's only a whisper, but his chest tightens at the way Shindou says his name, breathless and fond as he can feel the blood rushing to his cheeks, turning his pale skin a light pink in return. He finds himself unable to tear his gaze away from those large brown eyes, falling victim to their warmth. He wanted nothing more than to lose himself in those eyes for hours, but he knew that the kiss had ended, and there probably should be something said other than just their names.
Their names.
That's right...Shindou had used his first name, hadn't he? They were...they were on something more than just formal, now. It's strange, how long it took him to make that connection.
But if Shindou was calling him Kyousuke, then that meant...]
Takuto. [He corrects himself, head tilting slightly and casting a light smile across his lips.]
Did you like it? [He has a feeling he knows the answer to this one, but he can't help but ask anyway. Something about it made it seem official, after all.]
It felt unlike anything I've ever experienced. The best way I can describe it is...magical.
[Shindou probably has a larger, more advanced vocabulary than most people his age, and especially a boy younger than him who'd only gotten out of elementary school months prior. Middle school was a time when the gap seemed so small yet was so large.
But at the same time, that gap was never as large as they could perceive it to be, and in the end, Shindou Takuto was just as much a young teenager as anybody else, and in a moment like this, when his lips still tingled with the sensation of Tsurugi's against them and his heart still beat almost madly in his chest, magical just truly seemed like the best way to describe what they'd just shared.
He melts at the way Tsurugi tilts his head, the gesture both adorable and handsome in his eyes as he slides a hand forward, fingertips finding Tsurugi's and trailing up the back of his hand, his wrist, his arm -- all the way until he could rest it on his shoulder, weightless but present.]
I feel the same way. It was such a different... it was a new feeling. But it makes me feel happy.
[A sound of affirmation, agreement to what Shindou was saying. Tsurugi was never really all that great at saying out he felt straight out--somehow, the words always caught in his throat. His feelings were always genuine, though, and what he could never say (but only agree to someone ELSE saying), showed more than obvious in his eyes. And the way he stares at Shindou, as if he were a star he could wish on, or a birthday candle he could blow out, he knows it's more than enough.
Eyes close for one moment, relishing in the last remnants of the kiss still lingering on his lips. He swore he could almost taste lipgloss, although that might have been his imagination.
In a slightly bold move, his head leans forward to brush his bangs into the fluffy ones of his partner, foreheads pressed together and noses just barely ghosting over each other. Happy...that was a good way to put it. It'd been a long time since Tsurugi had ever let himself feel anything close to elated, his visits to the hospital to see his brother the only thing that truly made him feel anything similar. But this was lightweight...freeing.]
I'm happy, too.
So you wouldn't object to doing again, huh?
[It's soft, but there's small undertones of Tsurugi's playful 'acting' tone.]
[There's no way to hide the flush of his cheeks or the way his breath is quickened, trying to go back to a normal pace but still catching up with how fast his heart is beating. His eyes flicker to meet the bright yellow of Tsurugi's when he leans in close, surprised but unalarmed, completely trusting, and there's a brief glint that shines in the deep brown as his ears pick up the slightly lower tone of the other's voice.
It's familiar. He recognizes it. At the same time, he knows it's completely safe, and he smiles, the expression a little more mischievous than his usual ones too.]
I'd be disappointed, I'll have you know, if you intended for that to be the only one.
[Tsurugi's brow perks slightly, one raised while the other lowers in amusement at the way Shindou's tone shifts. Some hidden, bubbling confidence that he's only heard a handful of times since he'd come to Raimon, and one that he'd never consider would be reserved just for him. He was no music major, but he can hear the undertones in the boy's voice as they lift, matching his own playful voice as he speaks.
A perfect harmony, that's what Shindou would call it, right?]
I don't want to disappoint you, Takuto.
[Lips meet again before Shindou can even tease back a response, a little more confidence and initiative from him this time as a hand ghosts along that cheek. Shindou's soft skin against his rougher fingers was like silk, and the kiss itself sweeter than honey.
There couldn't ever be just one, he muses silently. It'd be hard enough keeping it to a couple.]
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Shindou could pull something like that off.
He follows Shindou into his room, and his eyes immediately glance around to the surroundings of the room. It was beautifully decorated, with matching furniture (actual furniture and not just a dresser and a bed!) and piano, a giant bed off to the side. White seemed to be most of the theme, the black piano contrasting starkly against it that Tsurugi could joke to himself that he had to adjust his eyes to. It was so very Shindou, he thinks to himself with a smile, as his red shirt and purple pants practically splash against the white canvas of the room like fingerpaints. He often was the only one in his grade that didn't wear the uniform, but he'd never felt more like a sore thumb than right now.
He smiles, hands removing themselves from his pockets as he looks for a place to sit. The couch seemed like the best option, seating himself gently and resting his chin on one of those hands.]
Take your time, I'm not going to try and escape just yet.
[A joke, the low tones of his voice curling into amusement as he speaks, eyes closing.]
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[With that said, and his guest now seated (hopefully comfortably) on the couch, Shindou moves to do as he said: changing. His school uniform got washed regularly anyway, but he didn't like to wear it for too long after school; it would only get dirtier faster that way, and if it got wrinkled, he would have to ask somebody to iron it. He knew how to do it himself from Home Ec classes, but even he and his desire to be more independent couldn't argue against the maids' insistence that he shouldn't do things that risked him hurting his hands.
The uniform is shed and carefully put away, replaced instead by a grey fine-knit sweater and a pair of brown pants. He doesn't make a show of it but the changing is still done without any shame or embarrassment about having Tsurugi there. That is, although he took care of himself and his surroundings mostly independently nowadays, when he was younger he was taken care of by servants for this and that; he didn't think anything of undressing in the presence of somebody else at this point, and Tsurugi was a member of the same soccer team, besides. With their lockers close to each other's, it's not like this was anything new.
Little does he know that not everybody is so nonchalant about things like this.]
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This completely changes when it's your boyfriend, and that's something Tsurugi finds out the minute he opens his eyes. Suddenly, he didn't see Shindou as the athlete friend he knew. He sees him as his boyfriend, and those amber eyes shockingly freeze at the sight of the boy's bare back, turned away from him and reaching for that sweater.
It's amazing how every muscle suddenly becomes neon highlighted, how every movement is enough to bring flush to your cheeks. Tsurugi's palm presses itself hard against his lips, fingers wrapping around his cheek as he both wants to fixate his gaze on something else (that piano was looking VERY INTERESTING RIGHT NOW) and yet unable to turn away. The way his hair brushes against his neck, leaving just enough space between his back and his head...
Focus, Kyousuke.
His own conscience snaps him out of it pupils contracting back to their slit-like appearance. He couldn't stare too long--boyfriend or not that would be pretty creepy... So instead, he goes back to how Shindou had seen him before turning around: eyes closed and gripping his face with every intent of squeezing the embarrassment out of him. With his eyes closed again, he takes this time to compose himself, letting both the image of his boyfriend sear into his brain and yet try and erase it from his eyelids in hopes of being able to handle this situation maturely. Because he's pretty sure that if he were to speak right now, incomprehensible babble was all that was going to come out.
He does know one thing, though. He was crazy for Shindou Takuto, and this proved it in more ways than he ever wants to explain.]
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That's right. They were here to --
It was at his request, and his invitation, but now that it's about to happen, butterflies are suddenly fluttering up a storm in his stomach. What would it be like? He hopes it will go well, or all right at least. Anything he does with Tsurugi will be amazing, he knows, but what if he misses? What if Tsurugi thinks his breath smells strange? Should he have asked for something minty for tea?
Nervous, giddy, full of anticipation and hope, Shindou shuffles back to the couch and plops down beside him, bouncing a little on the cushion; it's enough that even with his eyes closed, Tsurugi will be able to feel him move. ]
Tsurugi?
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Shindou Takuto, from his voice to his eyes to the rest of him...was beautiful.
And he was going to share his first kiss ever with him. A kiss he'd desperately hoped he could pull off his first time without anything embarrassing happening to him. His cheeks flush a little more, and he hopes that his hands can at least hide that until he can get it under control.]
Mm.
[That doesn't seem likely, though, with them so close.]
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It brings Shindou and Tsurugi even closer, the ends of his brown hair brushing up against a red-clad shoulder. From here, it's easy to see everything -- he can make out each and every elegant eyelash on Tsurugi's sharp, angled eyes, the exact slope of his handsome nose. And here, he's almost tempted to bury his own nose into the fabric of Tsurugi's shirt. Press against it and breathe in his scent, to memorize it. He wants to know everything.
Reaching for Tsurugi with the hand that was opposite to him, the hand that is closer slides up and hooks onto the curve of Tsurugi's side. Allowing that arm he snakes around the boy's back to pull them even closer together, Shindou peers through his bangs at him with a smile.]
... Let me see your face?
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Shindou makes sure of that too, looping his arm around his waist to pull them closer, eyes wide and unable to tear away from the boy in front of him.
And just a simple question is enough to have him remove that hand in an instant, slowly taking his palm off his lips and his fingers freeing his face from their grasp. His cheeks, while red from his hand pressed to his face, is flushed a slight pink, completely giving away his reason right there.]
Shindou, I...
[He has no idea where he's going with this, just that he had to say something after he let his mouth go.]
It's exciting, isn't it.
[That's a safe answer.]
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[He's the one who asked Tsurugi to show him his face, but the moment their eyes meet, he finds himself short of breath. Bright, shining eyes like a pair of the most beautiful pieces of citrine, a smile gentler than the softest strum of a harp. He's captured by the flush of his cheeks, both from the hand that had been pressing on it as well as the blood that had risen to them, and they're close, so close, that he expects the quickening beat of his heart to drown out any other sound they could make right now.
Exciting -- well, it certainly was a way to explain it. He feels a similar sting in the back of his throat, reminiscent of the days when he was so much easier to move to tears, but what Shindou's eyes sparkle with now aren't tears but that anticipation they're both feeling, face splitting with a smile that's out of his control.]
It is. It's... almost overwhelming.
[And he doesn't really know where to begin. Although leaning closer seems like a helpful idea. Their bodies press together, Shindou's shoulder fitting against Tsurugi's arm, squeezing the hand he grasped earlier, feeling his knee bump into the other's. From here, he should bring himself in more, keep his eyes open until he's sure they won't bump noses, and then, and then--]
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He feels Shindou's weight shift, shoulder pressing into his arm, cradling him with ease as their knees work to sidle next to each other. They're close--too close to do anything other than what they wanted to do. Shindou's breath was warm against his cheeks, the blood rushing to them and giving colour to his pale skintone.
He leans forward, eyes half-lidded and head tilting ever so slightly so that they don't bump noses. This is how he'd seen it in magazines and movies, surely they know what they're doing....
But what if he misses? What if he gets Shindou's chin or his upper lip or (heaven forbid) his nose? His breath stalls, holding there and looking at Shindou's own movements. His eyes shut, knowing that the longer he hesitates to do this, the harder it'll be to go through with hit. His lips, unsure of what they should do, lean forward until there's nothing but an inch between them.
It's only a kiss, he tells himself.
It's only a kiss.]
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Only a kiss, but as he slowly drops his eyelids and his view of Tsurugi's face grows narrower, he's suddenly aware of everything else. His quickened heartbeat, how fast -- how loud! -- his breath sounds, and the feel of Tsurugi's breath brushing over his lips as they draw closer. He catches the scent of Tsurugi's shampoo, the smell of what must be his home that lingers on his purple uniform, and his ears fill with the sound of the other's breathing. It's supposed to be a quiet, soundproofed room, but it suddenly feels like there's a cacophony. He could feel his hands growing warm and sweaty, and he hopes it doesn't feel gross to Tsurugi where they rest over his waist and hand.
By now he can feel the warmth of Tsurugi's skin emanating from him. They're so close, ready to touch. The nervousness and embarrassment is nearly overwhelming despite how much he tells himself to get it together, but if they've come this far, there's only going forward! He's about to scrounge up the rest of his courage and close that distance, take the lead because he should as the elder when--
Knock knock knock!
The maid who he'd forgotten was bringing them their tea and snack knocks on the door of his room, and Shindou pulls away from Tsurugi like he'd been zapped, round eyes opened wider than ever before and his face flushed a pink that'll make his best friend's hair jealous.]
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They were so close. He could feel Shindou's shaky breath against his lips, warm and inviting. And he would have sealed it there, too, his face leaning forward just a fraction more, the edges of their lips just an inch from touching...
Knock knock knock!
Tsurugi may as well have been electrified by the way he leaps, scooting practically to the other end of the couch in a millisecond, his eyes wide contracted just like a startled wild animal. The sound was so sudden, and he'd been nervous about this whole ordeal to start... His face was flushed a light pink, that hand clamping over his mouth again to turn away as he hears the maid behind the door request for Shindou.
He'll just be over here, trying to collect himself.]
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Takuto-sama? the maid calls again, and this time it finally snaps him out of it.]
I-I-- just a second!
[He almost stumbles and falls on his way across the room (he definitely hits his little toe against the coffee table), and he's less than composed when he opens the door. The maid voices her concern for a second at his flushed cheeks, but he quickly assures her that nothing is wrong everything is all right no he doesn't have a fever he was just laughing at something funny! She still looks a little uncertain when she leaves, but when the door closes behind her Shindou sighs with relief that she didn't raise the alarm that the young master had gotten a fever. A mess that would have been...
He shuffles back to the table and the couch where Tsurugi is, setting down the tray and kneeling on the floor on the other side of the coffee table.]
... Sorry. I forgot they were coming.
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Almost kissing.
He can feel his cheeks reddening again as his eyes close, hoping that the maid would be satisfied with the answer Shindou gave her, despite her worries. She was, in the end, although he can't help but catch her apprehension on the way out. Here's hoping that she only took it as surprise and not something worse...
With the door shut, Tsurugi stiffens up once more, turning to face Shindou as he places that tray down. Where do they even pick up? Was their chance just over now? Did he mess up by not going for it quick enough? Or was it more of a lifesaver that they hadn't kissed just then? Who knows what would've happened if the maid had gotten curious and walked in to see why the young master of the house hadn't answered when called out to...
So many variables going through his head, and yet so few words actually come out.]
I-It's alright.
[A shuffle of his fingers, the tips pressing against each other as his elbows rest on his knees]
Did you...? [His eyes search Shindou, the question sinking into the pits of his throat and drowning there.
Want to try again? That was what he wanted to finish the sentence with.]
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It's okay. The maid probably didn't believe him completely, but she won't show back up to question them. That, he knew. That was how things worked in this household, and he couldn't be more grateful for it than in this moment. The snacks have been delivered. He told them they were studying. Unless something incredibly dire comes up, they shouldn't get interrupted again.
It'll be okay.]
Tsuru-- [He speaks up at exactly the same time as Tsurugi does, their voices overlapping briefly before he cuts himself off. Their eyes meet, and one look at those golden eyes let him know that if he wants to hear the rest of that question, he'd probably have to say his first. So he gets up again, back on his feet, moving back to the couch and sitting down next to him once more.]
Is it all right if I try again?
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The snacks had been delivered. Shindou told them they were studying. It'd be okay.
At least, that's what he tells himself as Shindou sits down beside him, feeling the heat rising to his cheeks once more as he wonders where this conversation's going to go from here.]
I--
[And then the question is asked, pink flooding Tsurugi's face as he nods just a little too quickly, eyes wide and alert and hair completely on end. He'd wanted nothing more in the past few minutes, honestly, as nervous as he was. He wanted to feel those soft lips against his own that he was just an inch from just moments ago.]
Yes. I'd like to uphold that promise.
[His hands reaching for Shindou's and nervously slipping his fingers underneath to hold them in his own, calloused fingers rubbing against Shindou's much softer, much warmer ones.]
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He smiles at him, scooting closer and leaning in to bring his body toward him again. His eyelids are already, slowly, falling closed.]
Yes, me too. Come, Tsurugi.
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[Shindou's close proximity is breathtaking, feeling a lump in his throat the moment he speaks, the moment those big brown eyes return to him. Everything about him was so round and soft, from his skin to his eyes to his hair...and Tsurugi has to hold himself back from wanting to bury his face into this boy.
He's never felt so lucky in his entire life.
His head moves instinctively closer when Shindou requests, their faces only inches apart. He can feel the boy's warmth, an intoxicating pull drawing their lips together. He wants to kiss them, wondering if they're as soft as the rest of Shindou.
It wouldn't take any effort at all.
His eyelids lower as well, head tilting in a way to accommodate for Shindou's own, leaning forward to try once more. It's just a kiss.
But it's a kiss with him.
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He can count every eyelash that flutters against the other's cheeks, see the thick blue strands of hair that fall across his brows. He can smell the sun and the grass and a little bit of sweat from practice earlier, but mostly he smells that undeniably Tsurugi smell, something he's sure he'll recognize if there's every a day he'll visit his home.
He curls his fingers a little tighter around Tsurugi's as he fully closes his eyes and lets their lips finally meet, his own soft ones pressing against his.]
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It was soft, curious, and careful, both of them unsure how far they should go. Was just the touch enough? It felt like it to Tsurugi, who'd never kissed before. Their faces didn't collide--their noses didn't bump against each other. As far as kisses go, Tsurugi felt this was perfect.
As perfect as the boy in front of him.
He smiles into the kiss, a sort of bubbly giddiness building in his stomach that betrayed his usual stoic personality. Shindou's lips were like sugar, sweet and soft...marshmallowy if he wanted to compare it. He had nothing else to really compare TO, now that he thinks about it. He could spend his entire day just letting those lips glide across his, the sensation against his much rougher ones like warm vanilla.
Time seems to stop in the moment, and what felt like minutes was in actuality only seconds. When air becomes short, his lips lift from Shindou's own, warm breath exhaling and giving a sigh of satisfaction. Tsurugi didn't often verbally express his emotions often, but his face always said it all.
He was truly, truly happy.]
Shindou-san...
[What does he even say? He's practically breathless.]
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As Shindou feels Tsurugi's lips against his own, he feels that both of them were correct, and also that the experience must be different for each person. For him, musical as his life had always been, he sees the colors across his eyelids too bus mostly he hears a suddenly explosion of sound sing in his ears. It's the most beautiful melody he's ever heard, and it leaves him wanting to hear it more. A symphony... a new note in the duet that was his and Tsurugi's. It was fitting, and perfect, and when he feels the curl of Tsurugi's smile into the kiss his heart skips a beat, hopeful that the other was sharing the same joy that he did in this moment.
His chest feels tight. His fingertips tingle. He feels warmth spread through his body from where they touch as if some of Tsurugi's energy were trickling into him, and that's such a lovely thought that it's almost a shame to pull away. The kiss had left him breathless, a fact he only realizes when they finally part and his lungs are suddenly sucking in the air they previously lacked. His cheeks burn -- he's sure they must be red, too -- and his mind seems to be in a bit of a haze as he turns his gaze up to meet Tsurugi's gaze, those brown eyes reflecting awe, joy, and deep, unshakable love.]
... Kyousuke, [he whispers, his voice a faint sound that hisses out from between his lips as his body continues to suck in air.]
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Their names.
That's right...Shindou had used his first name, hadn't he? They were...they were on something more than just formal, now. It's strange, how long it took him to make that connection.
But if Shindou was calling him Kyousuke, then that meant...]
Takuto. [He corrects himself, head tilting slightly and casting a light smile across his lips.]
Did you like it? [He has a feeling he knows the answer to this one, but he can't help but ask anyway. Something about it made it seem official, after all.]
It felt unlike anything I've ever experienced. The best way I can describe it is...magical.
[He is such a twelve-year-old going on twenty.]
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[Shindou probably has a larger, more advanced vocabulary than most people his age, and especially a boy younger than him who'd only gotten out of elementary school months prior. Middle school was a time when the gap seemed so small yet was so large.
But at the same time, that gap was never as large as they could perceive it to be, and in the end, Shindou Takuto was just as much a young teenager as anybody else, and in a moment like this, when his lips still tingled with the sensation of Tsurugi's against them and his heart still beat almost madly in his chest, magical just truly seemed like the best way to describe what they'd just shared.
He melts at the way Tsurugi tilts his head, the gesture both adorable and handsome in his eyes as he slides a hand forward, fingertips finding Tsurugi's and trailing up the back of his hand, his wrist, his arm -- all the way until he could rest it on his shoulder, weightless but present.]
I feel the same way. It was such a different... it was a new feeling. But it makes me feel happy.
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[A sound of affirmation, agreement to what Shindou was saying. Tsurugi was never really all that great at saying out he felt straight out--somehow, the words always caught in his throat. His feelings were always genuine, though, and what he could never say (but only agree to someone ELSE saying), showed more than obvious in his eyes. And the way he stares at Shindou, as if he were a star he could wish on, or a birthday candle he could blow out, he knows it's more than enough.
Eyes close for one moment, relishing in the last remnants of the kiss still lingering on his lips. He swore he could almost taste lipgloss, although that might have been his imagination.
In a slightly bold move, his head leans forward to brush his bangs into the fluffy ones of his partner, foreheads pressed together and noses just barely ghosting over each other. Happy...that was a good way to put it. It'd been a long time since Tsurugi had ever let himself feel anything close to elated, his visits to the hospital to see his brother the only thing that truly made him feel anything similar. But this was lightweight...freeing.]
I'm happy, too.
So you wouldn't object to doing again, huh?
[It's soft, but there's small undertones of Tsurugi's playful 'acting' tone.]
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It's familiar. He recognizes it. At the same time, he knows it's completely safe, and he smiles, the expression a little more mischievous than his usual ones too.]
I'd be disappointed, I'll have you know, if you intended for that to be the only one.
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A perfect harmony, that's what Shindou would call it, right?]
I don't want to disappoint you, Takuto.
[Lips meet again before Shindou can even tease back a response, a little more confidence and initiative from him this time as a hand ghosts along that cheek. Shindou's soft skin against his rougher fingers was like silk, and the kiss itself sweeter than honey.
There couldn't ever be just one, he muses silently. It'd be hard enough keeping it to a couple.]
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