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[Liocott Island had a well-deserved reputation for being prepared. It had more than enough rooms to house every team, allowing for a few guests and potential replacements. But what its precise layout lacked was spare buildings, and when Orpheus's was compromised...
Suddenly all of that exact planning had its downsides. Inazuma Japan had stepped up to house them until a more permanent solution could be arranged. Essentially, that meant that all of them would be sharing rooms. Before any attempt of random arrangement could be suggested, some of them, Kidou included, had immediately stated who they intended to stay with.
Kidou figured Sakuma wouldn't mind. While it's true that Kidou would have just as easily shared space with Gouenji - the probability that Endou would have ultimately driven him nuts in that small a shared space was high enough to dismiss the idea - Sakuma was Teikoku. He seemed the obvious choice.
After all, regardless of any understandings, Kidou was fairly certain neither of them was going to enjoy staying with the other person from Teikoku. Whoever ended up with Fudou, it wouldn't be them.]
Sorry to impose.
[It's more a routine statement than deeply felt sentiment. Having already changed in the shower, Kidou arrived in the room he and Sakuma were to share for that night already prepared for bed.
The real reason for the comment was that these rooms have only one bed each. And while Kidou's not going to sleep on the floor, it's still a little strange to be quite that close to someone. Even when they were traveling in the bus, he'd had the ability to claim his own personal space.
It can't be helped. Kidou hesitates only as long as it takes to do some mental calculations about the bed's dimensions and just how much space he could feasibly take before lying down. Regardless of housing, they had a lot of work to do that next day. It wouldn't be long until their next match, and Kidou had no illusions about their current chances.]
[Kidou had only momentarily shown up at his doorstep, asking if they could stay in the same room to provide Orpheus with enough beds to stay in until the little Italy was rebuilt.
Although Sakuma wouldn't have ever let the sarcasm drip out, there was an amused sort of tone in his words as Kidou walked inside, as if they'd become assigned roommates through random selection. He closes the door, staring at Kidou's back with a mix of incredulity and surprise. Because...well, the dawning realization was more clear to him than it was to Kidou himself.
They were sharing a room. A room with one bed.
One of the two of them sees what this could imply, and quite honestly wished it DID imply that. One of the two of them knew the other far better than he knew himself, and it's something Sakuma often took pride in. Not today, though, not with the looming dark thoughts of them having to share a bed.
He steps towards the bed itself to pull the covers down, enough for either of them to shimmy in between.]
You'd never impose.
[Honest words from Sakuma if there ever were ones, fond and gentle as he goes to make sure there's enough space to put his things. Who knows how long they'd be here.]
We're not foreign to sharing sleeping spaces, right?
[Sakuma's gentle attitude towards this helps immensely, removing what doubts had managed to creep in since the reassignment. Kidou looks up to Sakuma briefly.]
Although this will be a new experience for me.
[Kidou's obliviousness gives him a naivete about any implications that sentence alone might have; if he had any clue, this would be a lot more awkward. But no. He'll come right out and make unhelpful comments without any thought about them whatsoever, setting down his bag by the bedside and resolutely sliding in shortly after Sakuma pulls back the covers. One of them's got to be first. Might as well be him.
He makes no motion to remove his goggles beforehand, and as he lies down on his side to make sure his ponytail isn't uncomfortable, it appears he has no intention of doing anything further to get ready for bed beyond a change of clothing.
Apparently, that's just how he exists.
It's just like the bed he'd been in the night before; not nearly as comfortable as his own, but far preferable to sleeping across bus seats. This will be fine. And the more he tells himself that's the case, the more he can accept that's probably true.]
I suppose when you get down to specifics. [Sakuma had practically trained himself to keep calm when in front of Kidou. The boy was perceptive to those feelings, and if he wanted to maintain his friendship with him...he had to steel himself. He remembers Jimon saying he was a perfect lieutenant, with how faithfully he served under Kidou with almost no question.
It was a skill he mastered, in order to hide his true feelings. And it took a lot more to perfect than Jimon or anyone might think.]
If it's uncomfortable, I don't mind sleeping on the floor.
[A small offer, and one he hopes slips under Kidou's radar as he moves to make room for the boy's duffel bags. It was separated enough from Sakuma's own to make it indistinguishable. He knew Kidou would need that separation--hell, he knew Kidou more than he knew himself.
But the corner of his eye catches, noticing one very strange, very Kidou Yuuto thing. He didn't get the luxury of tagging along to combat Aliea, so he'd never seen his friend sleep before. And while Sakuma may have had his reasons for wearing his eyepatch to sleep...Kidou had no such obligation to.
He was doing this just because.
And honestly...he's not sure if he should be surprised or not.]
Kidou--[Do you really sleep with your goggles, you weirdo.] I'll go give you some privacy.
[Truth is, Kidou's already accepted this was what was going to happen. Kidou's not having Sakuma sleep on the floor because of him. He didn't choose to room with Sakuma with any intent to displace him, so it's not an option he wants to consider. He just shakes his head quietly at the offer. He's measured out the bed exactly. He has an amount of space on it.
The pause catches Kidou's attention much more than Sakuma's quiet offer does. Enough that Kidou looks back up at him, expecting a followup that Sakuma doesn't give. If Sakuma was trying to get Kidou's undivided attention, that's exactly how.
He changed his sentence. What was he going to say?
Anything that needed privacy he'd already done in preparation for coming here. His nightly routine is so routine to him that it doesn't even occur to him that could be the reason for the reaction. No one in Raimon seemed to comment on it, after all. So logically this can only be applied to the earlier statement.
[The answer is so...undeniably Kidou. It's enough to get a smile across his lips, grabbing a hair tie to pull his hair back into a low ponytail. Nothing fancy, but it kept it from getting in his mouth or suffocating his face should he turn in his sleep. And with Kidou here, doubly so. He didn't want any stray hair wandering over to his side of the bed.
As much as he wished that gap were closer.]
Alright.
[Walking over to the bed, he reaches his hands up to tug at the black string that seemed to encompass his head at all times--the eyepatch. It's a bit vulnerable of him, but with the darkness, it wouldn't affect the eye too badly. It could use some time out of that stuffy patch anyway.
Still, it's probably not something Kidou's ever seen, not when it wasn't forcibly shown by the Aliea meteorite. The black sclera of the eye is still there, and in turn probably always was, and the gold of his eyes remained. A bit jarring at first, but there's no malice in that gaze as there once had been. Now...now it's more sadness, almost a soft weakness.
Sakuma was always sharp corners and edges. But this...softened it a bit.
Without much hesitation, he grabs those folded down covers and lifts them up, making his way inbetween them.]
[Kidou's quiet after that, pulling his pillow a little more to the left, finding the precise center before he's satisfied that he'll get maximum use out of it. He doesn't pay full attention to Sakuma putting the finishing touches on what Kidou assumes is his own nightly routine.
Not until Sakuma reaches behind his head and gently pulls off his eyepatch.
Sakuma can't see Kidou's eyes widen, but the raised eyebrows say volumes on their own. He had expected that Sakuma would be like he was, keeping on that covering at all times. He'd thought he had no right to see, although the memory of Sakuma's unhinged smile is seared deep into his memory. Every time he looked at Sakuma now, he knew what lay under that. No matter how guilty he felt about it, he'd always know.
It's just as Kidou remembers; the same vivid gold as the other eye, but surrounded by black. It looks so much more natural without a shattered eyepatch to accompany it. There, it was terrifying. Here, it's something uniquely interesting about Sakuma. Is it merely appearance that makes him cover it, or function? Although he can't deny he's curious, Kidou would never dare to ask.
It's not long before the sheet pulls towards the other side of the bed. As Sakuma climbs in, Kidou stays perfectly still and completely silent, refusing to move even to adjust the covers if they shift. Slowly, his eyebrows return to a neutral position as he forces himself to stop reacting as if anything's abnormal. He closes his eyes, but it doesn't last long before that eye draws his focus again.
It doesn't matter that he's been staring far longer than is socially acceptable. With his goggles, Kidou's learned a long time ago that he can get away with that. As long as he needs to, he'll memorize Sakuma's face just like this, forcibly shoving away all lingering images of that meteorite-affected stare.
This is a mental image Kidou infinitely prefers to keep. There's only Sakuma behind that expression.
This time, Kidou knows for certain that it's intentional for him to see.]
[Deep down, he knows. He could tell from Kidou's face alone that this was both a reveal and a vulnerability. Maybe he should have left it on--hell, a small part of him kind of wanted to take it off the nightstand and wrap it around, apologize and say it was bothering him. But he had Kidou's attention by now, no matter what the real circumstance of it was.
He'd wanted to show him, honestly. Maybe just give him a piece of himself that he didn't already know about.
As close as they were, they didn't have a lot of those things. Kageyama often made sure there was a barrier between Kidou and his team. And when he left for Raimon, that chasm split even further.]
...
You're staring.
[It's more amused than anything, turning his head back over to look at him, mismatched eyes and all.]
[Of course. If anyone would know anyway, it would be Sakuma. Sakuma always knew what he was thinking. It's what made him such a perfect second in command, and part of why Kidou valued him as a friend long before he'd been permitted to have such attachments.
At being called out on it, Kidou ducks his head, but not quite enough that that eye is past the edge of his vision. Just enough to remind himself to not stare at it.]
Sorry.
[On anything else, he'd leave it at that. This, however, was a vulnerability he could empathize with strongly enough that he knew how it could come across. No one saw his eyes, either. So after a pause, Kidou adds one clarification.]
[It's not accusatory or anything, his voice is somewhat softer than usual, and hiding a chuckle beneath his breath.]
I'm actually kind of glad you get to see it now, away from Shin Teikoku.
[He turns over to face Kidou completely, both eyes now locked onto the ones hidden behind goggles that he knew would never come off in return. It didn't matter, though. As much as he wanted to see them besides the faint outline of their shape, he knew it was as far off a dream as Genda learning social skills.]
[The pause is brief, but tangible as Kidou's face goes carefully blank. As if hearing the name Shin Teikoku aloud didn't send a chill down his spine, as if ... a lot of things. He had so many memories with Sakuma that it shouldn't be that one that remained in the forefront of his mind. While that blankness could be read as surprise, it wasn't. It was simply a focus on not reacting.
Sakuma would immediately know the association Kidou has.
But then the pause ends, and Kidou's face softens into a smile. That is, after all, exactly what he was thinking. He speaks more gently than he usually does; something that Sakuma likely only rarely had occasion to hear. They didn't share a history that allowed for moments like that often enough; even speaking softly softly always had that crisp formality to it.]
Me, too.
[Kidou tilts his head back up, cementing that eye contact. The lighting is dark enough to remove any chance of seeing Kidou's eyes through them, even this close to each other. No matter how thoroughly hidden his eyes may be, the perfect lack of an angle on those lenses give little room for doubt where his focus is.
Something about the private proximity, or the increasingly late time, spurs him into one more sentence that he'd usually rethink. Or it's a byproduct of his time at Raimon getting him to be a bit more open than before. Just a little. Just enough.]
[Sakuma very rarely ever showed his emotions so freely. He was always so stoic, the perks of having a military family and being sent to military school, and also being right hand man to Kidou Yuuto himself. You steeled yourself. You put up walls and barriers and anything softer than that...you protected it.
But the way Kidou speaks, the way he says that line, it may as well have melted all the metaphorical armour he could put up. Because the way his golden eyes soften, especially the one he hid every day from the world...he couldn't have looked happier.
He wanted nothing more than for Kidou to look at him like this and see Sakuma. Not the Sakuma of Shin Teikoku who stared at him so venomously.]
Thank you. I...You're the first one outside my family to really see it.
[He hadn't imagined that Sakuma was capable of that expression. Sakuma had a gentle side, though he tried to deny it; knowing it was there and getting occasional glimpses was part of what made Kidou so protective of him. But even Kidou hadn't realized just how gentle that side could be.
He's even more glad for his decision to be here now. They've known each other for so long, and yet... they didn't know each other well enough. Kidou quickly corrects that; he clearly didn't know Sakuma well enough. Sakuma could always read Kidou like a book, but Kidou couldn't say the same.
It's the same problem that led to Shin Teikoku.
Hearing that, his expression shifts a bit more, that smile growing to match his tone. It's one thing to believe, with all his heart, that Sakuma trusts him just as much as Kidou trusts Sakuma, but it's another to have that confirmed in such a way.
He'd had the feeling this was something that only a privileged few had any right to see, and now Kidou is among those few! It's an added salve to a wound he'd considered long healed, smoothing away lingering soreness.]
Thank you for showing me.
[Kidou you could, you know, return the favor.
But of course, that doesn't even seem to occur to him. He seems content to treasure the moment as it is without making it an even exchange. Helpful analysis of the broader scope of what they're doing - lying in bed staring into each other's eyes (or goggle lenses, respectively) - probably isn't something Kidou can afford to contemplate closely enough for that level of evaluation.
His own eyes close behind his goggles, though the smile doesn't fade. He breathes in a little deeper, though he's far from asleep. It's hard to put this feeling into words - or rather, he sure has words there-
This isn't getting less strange. I can feel his breath, we're that close. I can't deny it's hard to not fixate on details like that. But, despite that, I can't think of anywhere else I'd rather be right now. I'm glad that it's Sakuma here with me. The trust he has in me... I'm truly honored by that. He's the best friend I could ever hope for.
- but all those lovely sentiments never make it past his own internal monologue.]
[It's an expression he hides more often than not, preferring to take on the role of stoicism more than open-hearted and friendly. Someone like Endou Mamoru could pull that off, but as new captain of Teikoku, there were definitely differences in team makeup. Where Raimon, and Inazuma Japan often coordinated well with their diversity and chaos, Teikoku was strictly military procedure, and without Kidou to serve as their Captain, Sakuma had risen to the challenge to pick up where he had left.
He'd never shown himself to be the friendliest of people, but he certainly had to take it upon himself to fill Kidou's shoes as well as keep his own. It'd been hard, and without Genda he might have caved. But he came out stronger for it, at the cost of sealing away his more gentle interior.
But here it was different. He wasn't the captain and this wasn't Teikoku. Inazuma Japan had accepted him so easily--Kazemaru often congratulated him on making it to the World with them, and Hijikata threw an arm around him the moment he'd arrived at the airport. There's security in a team like this, and although it might not be exactly what he was used to...
He can see why Endou Mamoru's soccer was so tantalizing to Kidou. He makes you feel like fighting for all you have is worth it.]
If you can look at it now without an ounce of guilt, then that's well worth it. [Because he didn't want Kidou to feel guilty when it came to Shin Teikoku. He wanted to have him look at both his eyes and see the same boy, and not the one that had wanted to act on revenge, using forbidden hissatsu just to keep pace with him.
Maybe he'd secretly hoped for the same...but there's something to be said for being down to earth. Your hopes don't become delusions. Sakuma was far more of a realist than that.
And yet.
He has to turn over to hide the way his face falls, knowing that Kidou would be able to spot the change instantaneously.]
Well.
Goodnight then, Kidou. I'm glad you chose me to room with.
It sort of feels like old times. [You know, just being together at all.]
[There is a slight change in Sakuma's voice, but Kidou writes it off as tiredness or nostalgia. Probably both. With Sakuma flipped over again, it's a clear signal that they should sleep.
Kidou agrees with that completely. He's a little sad to cut this rare moment short, but they've easily got all week, so it's not a problem. It's good just having this feeling that he's closer to his friend now than he's ever been. Sakuma could not have made Kidou feel more welcome here if he'd tried. But, as he clenches his jaw to stifle a yawn, sleep is more a priority right now.]
Good night, Sakuma.
[Without the distraction of conversation, sleep comes easily. Before long, Kidou's breathing has evened out into a longer rhythm, a little louder than usual. He curls inwards, hands drawing closer to his chest, and lets sleep claim him.
[Fine for someone like Kidou. Sleep may have been deep when he eventually got it, but it'd taken a long while to actually achieve anything but the limbo of not-quite-awake and not-yet-asleep, the thought of Kidou Yuuto being almost less than a foot away keeping him up more than he cared to admit. His head buried itself in the pillow multiple times, making sure not to tug on the blanket too much to rustle Kidou awake.
But even the most restless of boys fall asleep eventually...if only it wasn't just 4 hours before he had to be up.
His alarm goes off as normal, a soft murmur of protest as his face, flattened against the pillow refuses to move, his hand wildly searching for his phone to turn it off. While never one to complain about early wake up times, he'd much rather have gotten at least another hour before rising for the day. They had practice as usual, and he was sure his soccer would suffer for it.
...
And then he remembers just why his sleep had been shot. His head shoots up like a rocket, staring at the wall behind the headboard and then over to where Kidou had originally been sleeping. His eye, now exposed to the morning light, was now a touch sensitive...but he'd put his patch on in a minute.
[Like Sakuma, Kidou was habitually an early riser, used to early mornings and rarely inclined to sleep in. On most times, he'd be awake just as quickly as Sakuma had been. But.. not quite this time.
Somewhere in the back of his mind, he was vaguely aware there was a noise somewhere. He was nudged shortly afterwards, which dragged his brain into just enough consciousness to figure out that he knew what that noise was. Ah, an alarm. That should worry him, but this time recognition is paired with mere acceptance.
Once the noise was identified, he stopped trying to think about it at all. He felt more relaxed and comfortable than he could ever remember being, and that noise just wasn't bothersome enough to drag him away from the comfortable warmth of the blanket and whatever he was nestled up against. His only reaction was to duck his head down, feeling his goggles press against his face as they met resistance. That, too, was a very familiar sensation; anytime he buried his head into a pillow he felt the same thing. It didn't register in his mind at all.
At about the same time, he was rewarded by the noise stopping. His breathing grew deeper again, any vague consciousness he'd collected slipping back away. If he'd just woken up a bit more, he'd realize that comfortably familiar and warm something that he'd draped one arm over was familiar for a very good reason.]
[It wasn't until his eyes adjusted that he found exactly what was keeping him in place. There was something on top of him. Something that had pulled him closer to the center of the bed. Something that if you trailed along it to find its source...
Was Kidou. Panic-striken eyes suddenly assess the situation, heat rushing to his cheeks as he realize that Kidou had fallen asleep with his arm draped over him, thus him rolling into the warm touch. Words couldn't describe the sheer amount of horror on Sakuma's face. It's not that he had a problem with Kidou throwing an arm over him in a makeshift cuddle, oh no.
He loved it a little too much. But it's really something that's hard to appreciate when you also have a sense of self-preservation, and know that Kidou Yuuto would not take this as well as you would.
He can't move. He's afraid to move. Maybe he should risk being late to getting ready and just pretend he fell back asleep. Maybe he could wiggle his way out from the bottom. Maybe he could substitute himself with a pillow. All of the options run through his head and categorize themselves by effectiveness so fast that even Genda would have given him a golf clap of approval.
None of them seemed like an option that didn't have a high risk. This is it, this is where he dies in limbo between Kidou's soft embrace and the outside world.
You know.
Where he could have looked from afar in peace.]
I'm amused that I have a completely harmless excuse to use this icon
[The warm something he's next to is still again, and Kidou's smile fades as he slips further back into deep sleep. There's no motion from Kidou at all as he breathes softly against Sakuma's shirt.
For the moment, Sakuma has time to work out an exit strategy. That moment won't last. It won't be too long before the call for the whole team to get up is sounded, and as a time-saving measure, those awake get tasked with alerting those who haven't left their rooms. What's worse - Kidou finding out about this, or someone random potentially walking in on this scene?
If Sakuma waits long enough, a distant door will slam. The first pair of muffled voices will just barely carry through the walls. And, worst of all, in reaction to that, Kidou's arm will tense briefly, pulling Sakuma just a little bit closer to him and burying his face against him in a final effort to cling to sleep.
That probably isn't comfortable, given how far the rims of those goggles protrude.]
[Sakuma was pretty content with his life minus a few technicalities. He had loving parents, his school was free of Kageyama's influence, he was the captain of Teikoku. Sure, he'd like it if Kidou noticed him...but maybe not so blissfully unaware of the situation that he had to be unconscious to give him such affection. Because you know what, Sakuma Jirou has never wished for death so hard than he did right now.
And he used Koutei Penguin 1 THREE TIMES IN A ROW.
The footsteps are heard, and panick sets in as he finally decides on the substitution method. Quickly grabbing his pillow, he gently starts to lift Kidou's hand up, just enough to slide it onto the pillow while simultaneously trying to slip OUT of his grip. Should Kidou wake up at that moment, he could make the argument that he had been trying to subtly wake him up.
It's just a few more inches til freedom, and he can see Kidou's hand start to cling to that pillow...]
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Penguin Catchall
Sakuma Torture
Suddenly all of that exact planning had its downsides. Inazuma Japan had stepped up to house them until a more permanent solution could be arranged. Essentially, that meant that all of them would be sharing rooms. Before any attempt of random arrangement could be suggested, some of them, Kidou included, had immediately stated who they intended to stay with.
Kidou figured Sakuma wouldn't mind. While it's true that Kidou would have just as easily shared space with Gouenji - the probability that Endou would have ultimately driven him nuts in that small a shared space was high enough to dismiss the idea - Sakuma was Teikoku. He seemed the obvious choice.
After all, regardless of any understandings, Kidou was fairly certain neither of them was going to enjoy staying with the other person from Teikoku. Whoever ended up with Fudou, it wouldn't be them.]
Sorry to impose.
[It's more a routine statement than deeply felt sentiment. Having already changed in the shower, Kidou arrived in the room he and Sakuma were to share for that night already prepared for bed.
The real reason for the comment was that these rooms have only one bed each. And while Kidou's not going to sleep on the floor, it's still a little strange to be quite that close to someone. Even when they were traveling in the bus, he'd had the ability to claim his own personal space.
It can't be helped. Kidou hesitates only as long as it takes to do some mental calculations about the bed's dimensions and just how much space he could feasibly take before lying down. Regardless of housing, they had a lot of work to do that next day. It wouldn't be long until their next match, and Kidou had no illusions about their current chances.]
When isn't he I mean really
[Kidou had only momentarily shown up at his doorstep, asking if they could stay in the same room to provide Orpheus with enough beds to stay in until the little Italy was rebuilt.
Although Sakuma wouldn't have ever let the sarcasm drip out, there was an amused sort of tone in his words as Kidou walked inside, as if they'd become assigned roommates through random selection. He closes the door, staring at Kidou's back with a mix of incredulity and surprise. Because...well, the dawning realization was more clear to him than it was to Kidou himself.
They were sharing a room. A room with one bed.
One of the two of them sees what this could imply, and quite honestly wished it DID imply that. One of the two of them knew the other far better than he knew himself, and it's something Sakuma often took pride in. Not today, though, not with the looming dark thoughts of them having to share a bed.
He steps towards the bed itself to pull the covers down, enough for either of them to shimmy in between.]
You'd never impose.
[Honest words from Sakuma if there ever were ones, fond and gentle as he goes to make sure there's enough space to put his things. Who knows how long they'd be here.]
We're not foreign to sharing sleeping spaces, right?
[Just not like this.]
It's his lot in life
[Sakuma's gentle attitude towards this helps immensely, removing what doubts had managed to creep in since the reassignment. Kidou looks up to Sakuma briefly.]
Although this will be a new experience for me.
[Kidou's obliviousness gives him a naivete about any implications that sentence alone might have; if he had any clue, this would be a lot more awkward. But no. He'll come right out and make unhelpful comments without any thought about them whatsoever, setting down his bag by the bedside and resolutely sliding in shortly after Sakuma pulls back the covers. One of them's got to be first. Might as well be him.
He makes no motion to remove his goggles beforehand, and as he lies down on his side to make sure his ponytail isn't uncomfortable, it appears he has no intention of doing anything further to get ready for bed beyond a change of clothing.
Apparently, that's just how he exists.
It's just like the bed he'd been in the night before; not nearly as comfortable as his own, but far preferable to sleeping across bus seats. This will be fine. And the more he tells himself that's the case, the more he can accept that's probably true.]
no subject
It was a skill he mastered, in order to hide his true feelings. And it took a lot more to perfect than Jimon or anyone might think.]
If it's uncomfortable, I don't mind sleeping on the floor.
[A small offer, and one he hopes slips under Kidou's radar as he moves to make room for the boy's duffel bags. It was separated enough from Sakuma's own to make it indistinguishable. He knew Kidou would need that separation--hell, he knew Kidou more than he knew himself.
But the corner of his eye catches, noticing one very strange, very Kidou Yuuto thing. He didn't get the luxury of tagging along to combat Aliea, so he'd never seen his friend sleep before. And while Sakuma may have had his reasons for wearing his eyepatch to sleep...Kidou had no such obligation to.
He was doing this just because.
And honestly...he's not sure if he should be surprised or not.]
Kidou--[Do you really sleep with your goggles, you weirdo.] I'll go give you some privacy.
no subject
The pause catches Kidou's attention much more than Sakuma's quiet offer does. Enough that Kidou looks back up at him, expecting a followup that Sakuma doesn't give. If Sakuma was trying to get Kidou's undivided attention, that's exactly how.
He changed his sentence. What was he going to say?
Anything that needed privacy he'd already done in preparation for coming here. His nightly routine is so routine to him that it doesn't even occur to him that could be the reason for the reaction. No one in Raimon seemed to comment on it, after all. So logically this can only be applied to the earlier statement.
Frowning slightly, Kidou speaks up again.]
It's fine. I don't mind sharing.
no subject
As much as he wished that gap were closer.]
Alright.
[Walking over to the bed, he reaches his hands up to tug at the black string that seemed to encompass his head at all times--the eyepatch. It's a bit vulnerable of him, but with the darkness, it wouldn't affect the eye too badly. It could use some time out of that stuffy patch anyway.
Still, it's probably not something Kidou's ever seen, not when it wasn't forcibly shown by the Aliea meteorite. The black sclera of the eye is still there, and in turn probably always was, and the gold of his eyes remained. A bit jarring at first, but there's no malice in that gaze as there once had been. Now...now it's more sadness, almost a soft weakness.
Sakuma was always sharp corners and edges. But this...softened it a bit.
Without much hesitation, he grabs those folded down covers and lifts them up, making his way inbetween them.]
no subject
Not until Sakuma reaches behind his head and gently pulls off his eyepatch.
Sakuma can't see Kidou's eyes widen, but the raised eyebrows say volumes on their own. He had expected that Sakuma would be like he was, keeping on that covering at all times. He'd thought he had no right to see, although the memory of Sakuma's unhinged smile is seared deep into his memory. Every time he looked at Sakuma now, he knew what lay under that. No matter how guilty he felt about it, he'd always know.
It's just as Kidou remembers; the same vivid gold as the other eye, but surrounded by black. It looks so much more natural without a shattered eyepatch to accompany it. There, it was terrifying. Here, it's something uniquely interesting about Sakuma. Is it merely appearance that makes him cover it, or function? Although he can't deny he's curious, Kidou would never dare to ask.
It's not long before the sheet pulls towards the other side of the bed. As Sakuma climbs in, Kidou stays perfectly still and completely silent, refusing to move even to adjust the covers if they shift. Slowly, his eyebrows return to a neutral position as he forces himself to stop reacting as if anything's abnormal. He closes his eyes, but it doesn't last long before that eye draws his focus again.
It doesn't matter that he's been staring far longer than is socially acceptable. With his goggles, Kidou's learned a long time ago that he can get away with that. As long as he needs to, he'll memorize Sakuma's face just like this, forcibly shoving away all lingering images of that meteorite-affected stare.
This is a mental image Kidou infinitely prefers to keep. There's only Sakuma behind that expression.
This time, Kidou knows for certain that it's intentional for him to see.]
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He'd wanted to show him, honestly. Maybe just give him a piece of himself that he didn't already know about.
As close as they were, they didn't have a lot of those things. Kageyama often made sure there was a barrier between Kidou and his team. And when he left for Raimon, that chasm split even further.]
...
You're staring.
[It's more amused than anything, turning his head back over to look at him, mismatched eyes and all.]
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At being called out on it, Kidou ducks his head, but not quite enough that that eye is past the edge of his vision. Just enough to remind himself to not stare at it.]
Sorry.
[On anything else, he'd leave it at that. This, however, was a vulnerability he could empathize with strongly enough that he knew how it could come across. No one saw his eyes, either. So after a pause, Kidou adds one clarification.]
It wasn't for a bad reason. I was just curious.
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[It's not accusatory or anything, his voice is somewhat softer than usual, and hiding a chuckle beneath his breath.]
I'm actually kind of glad you get to see it now, away from Shin Teikoku.
[He turns over to face Kidou completely, both eyes now locked onto the ones hidden behind goggles that he knew would never come off in return. It didn't matter, though. As much as he wanted to see them besides the faint outline of their shape, he knew it was as far off a dream as Genda learning social skills.]
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Sakuma would immediately know the association Kidou has.
But then the pause ends, and Kidou's face softens into a smile. That is, after all, exactly what he was thinking. He speaks more gently than he usually does; something that Sakuma likely only rarely had occasion to hear. They didn't share a history that allowed for moments like that often enough; even speaking softly softly always had that crisp formality to it.]
Me, too.
[Kidou tilts his head back up, cementing that eye contact. The lighting is dark enough to remove any chance of seeing Kidou's eyes through them, even this close to each other. No matter how thoroughly hidden his eyes may be, the perfect lack of an angle on those lenses give little room for doubt where his focus is.
Something about the private proximity, or the increasingly late time, spurs him into one more sentence that he'd usually rethink. Or it's a byproduct of his time at Raimon getting him to be a bit more open than before. Just a little. Just enough.]
It suits you when it's like this.
[When it's showing part of who you really are.]
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But the way Kidou speaks, the way he says that line, it may as well have melted all the metaphorical armour he could put up. Because the way his golden eyes soften, especially the one he hid every day from the world...he couldn't have looked happier.
He wanted nothing more than for Kidou to look at him like this and see Sakuma. Not the Sakuma of Shin Teikoku who stared at him so venomously.]
Thank you. I...You're the first one outside my family to really see it.
[Endou doesn't count.]
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He's even more glad for his decision to be here now. They've known each other for so long, and yet... they didn't know each other well enough. Kidou quickly corrects that; he clearly didn't know Sakuma well enough. Sakuma could always read Kidou like a book, but Kidou couldn't say the same.
It's the same problem that led to Shin Teikoku.
Hearing that, his expression shifts a bit more, that smile growing to match his tone. It's one thing to believe, with all his heart, that Sakuma trusts him just as much as Kidou trusts Sakuma, but it's another to have that confirmed in such a way.
He'd had the feeling this was something that only a privileged few had any right to see, and now Kidou is among those few! It's an added salve to a wound he'd considered long healed, smoothing away lingering soreness.]
Thank you for showing me.
[Kidou you could, you know, return the favor.
But of course, that doesn't even seem to occur to him. He seems content to treasure the moment as it is without making it an even exchange. Helpful analysis of the broader scope of what they're doing - lying in bed staring into each other's eyes (or goggle lenses, respectively) - probably isn't something Kidou can afford to contemplate closely enough for that level of evaluation.
His own eyes close behind his goggles, though the smile doesn't fade. He breathes in a little deeper, though he's far from asleep. It's hard to put this feeling into words - or rather, he sure has words there-
This isn't getting less strange. I can feel his breath, we're that close. I can't deny it's hard to not fixate on details like that. But, despite that, I can't think of anywhere else I'd rather be right now. I'm glad that it's Sakuma here with me. The trust he has in me... I'm truly honored by that. He's the best friend I could ever hope for.
- but all those lovely sentiments never make it past his own internal monologue.]
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He'd never shown himself to be the friendliest of people, but he certainly had to take it upon himself to fill Kidou's shoes as well as keep his own. It'd been hard, and without Genda he might have caved. But he came out stronger for it, at the cost of sealing away his more gentle interior.
But here it was different. He wasn't the captain and this wasn't Teikoku. Inazuma Japan had accepted him so easily--Kazemaru often congratulated him on making it to the World with them, and Hijikata threw an arm around him the moment he'd arrived at the airport. There's security in a team like this, and although it might not be exactly what he was used to...
He can see why Endou Mamoru's soccer was so tantalizing to Kidou. He makes you feel like fighting for all you have is worth it.]
If you can look at it now without an ounce of guilt, then that's well worth it. [Because he didn't want Kidou to feel guilty when it came to Shin Teikoku. He wanted to have him look at both his eyes and see the same boy, and not the one that had wanted to act on revenge, using forbidden hissatsu just to keep pace with him.
Maybe he'd secretly hoped for the same...but there's something to be said for being down to earth. Your hopes don't become delusions. Sakuma was far more of a realist than that.
And yet.
He has to turn over to hide the way his face falls, knowing that Kidou would be able to spot the change instantaneously.]
Well.
Goodnight then, Kidou. I'm glad you chose me to room with.
It sort of feels like old times. [You know, just being together at all.]
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[There is a slight change in Sakuma's voice, but Kidou writes it off as tiredness or nostalgia. Probably both. With Sakuma flipped over again, it's a clear signal that they should sleep.
Kidou agrees with that completely. He's a little sad to cut this rare moment short, but they've easily got all week, so it's not a problem. It's good just having this feeling that he's closer to his friend now than he's ever been. Sakuma could not have made Kidou feel more welcome here if he'd tried. But, as he clenches his jaw to stifle a yawn, sleep is more a priority right now.]
Good night, Sakuma.
[Without the distraction of conversation, sleep comes easily. Before long, Kidou's breathing has evened out into a longer rhythm, a little louder than usual. He curls inwards, hands drawing closer to his chest, and lets sleep claim him.
This was going to work out fine.]
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But even the most restless of boys fall asleep eventually...if only it wasn't just 4 hours before he had to be up.
His alarm goes off as normal, a soft murmur of protest as his face, flattened against the pillow refuses to move, his hand wildly searching for his phone to turn it off. While never one to complain about early wake up times, he'd much rather have gotten at least another hour before rising for the day. They had practice as usual, and he was sure his soccer would suffer for it.
...
And then he remembers just why his sleep had been shot. His head shoots up like a rocket, staring at the wall behind the headboard and then over to where Kidou had originally been sleeping. His eye, now exposed to the morning light, was now a touch sensitive...but he'd put his patch on in a minute.
He was too busy having slight cardiac arrest.]
Kidou?
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Somewhere in the back of his mind, he was vaguely aware there was a noise somewhere. He was nudged shortly afterwards, which dragged his brain into just enough consciousness to figure out that he knew what that noise was. Ah, an alarm. That should worry him, but this time recognition is paired with mere acceptance.
Once the noise was identified, he stopped trying to think about it at all. He felt more relaxed and comfortable than he could ever remember being, and that noise just wasn't bothersome enough to drag him away from the comfortable warmth of the blanket and whatever he was nestled up against. His only reaction was to duck his head down, feeling his goggles press against his face as they met resistance. That, too, was a very familiar sensation; anytime he buried his head into a pillow he felt the same thing. It didn't register in his mind at all.
At about the same time, he was rewarded by the noise stopping. His breathing grew deeper again, any vague consciousness he'd collected slipping back away. If he'd just woken up a bit more, he'd realize that comfortably familiar and warm something that he'd draped one arm over was familiar for a very good reason.]
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Was Kidou. Panic-striken eyes suddenly assess the situation, heat rushing to his cheeks as he realize that Kidou had fallen asleep with his arm draped over him, thus him rolling into the warm touch. Words couldn't describe the sheer amount of horror on Sakuma's face. It's not that he had a problem with Kidou throwing an arm over him in a makeshift cuddle, oh no.
He loved it a little too much. But it's really something that's hard to appreciate when you also have a sense of self-preservation, and know that Kidou Yuuto would not take this as well as you would.
He can't move. He's afraid to move. Maybe he should risk being late to getting ready and just pretend he fell back asleep. Maybe he could wiggle his way out from the bottom. Maybe he could substitute himself with a pillow. All of the options run through his head and categorize themselves by effectiveness so fast that even Genda would have given him a golf clap of approval.
None of them seemed like an option that didn't have a high risk. This is it, this is where he dies in limbo between Kidou's soft embrace and the outside world.
You know.
Where he could have looked from afar in peace.]
I'm amused that I have a completely harmless excuse to use this icon
For the moment, Sakuma has time to work out an exit strategy. That moment won't last. It won't be too long before the call for the whole team to get up is sounded, and as a time-saving measure, those awake get tasked with alerting those who haven't left their rooms. What's worse - Kidou finding out about this, or someone random potentially walking in on this scene?
If Sakuma waits long enough, a distant door will slam. The first pair of muffled voices will just barely carry through the walls. And, worst of all, in reaction to that, Kidou's arm will tense briefly, pulling Sakuma just a little bit closer to him and burying his face against him in a final effort to cling to sleep.
That probably isn't comfortable, given how far the rims of those goggles protrude.]
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And he used Koutei Penguin 1 THREE TIMES IN A ROW.
The footsteps are heard, and panick sets in as he finally decides on the substitution method. Quickly grabbing his pillow, he gently starts to lift Kidou's hand up, just enough to slide it onto the pillow while simultaneously trying to slip OUT of his grip. Should Kidou wake up at that moment, he could make the argument that he had been trying to subtly wake him up.
It's just a few more inches til freedom, and he can see Kidou's hand start to cling to that pillow...]