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[It's strange, the thought had never even occurred to him. Maybe it was because even in the back of his mind, he had some expectations of Shindou that still felt unreachable. That the boy was all together on a different pedestal than him, if equal. It did nothing to stop his love for the boy, certainly, and he'd accepted by now that he deserved him. But there were still some gaps to cross, like what happened after middle school.
IF anything happened after high school.
The same school as him. A smile presses against that head, easily felt against Shindou's jawline as he continues to cradle him in his arms.]
I'd like that.
...
But I doubt I could get in. [A more realist statement than a self-depreciating one. After all...Tsurugi was a good student in the books, but probably not one people would hash out recommendations for with how he dressed.
[Despite being awake now, he's usually asleep by this time of night. With the excitement from the party already died down and held so warmly in Tsurugi's arms, he can feel the tiredness starting to seep in. How unfair, really. He doesn't want to sleep yet. He doesn't want this night to end. But if he could fall asleep like this, it would be the most wonderful thing. He turns his head into that hand to return the gesture from earlier -- lips brushing ever so lightly against that palm.]
You give yourself a lot less credit than you deserve. Any school you put your mind to will be happy to have you.
[It takes him a minute to fully process what Shindou is implying. He was about to protest again, saying that the kind of schools Shindou would apply to would be out of his league--he's sure Shindou's parents would want him to go somewhere prestigious right?
At least, that was his thought pattern, until the more obvious reason rings clear. He bites his lip, thinking it over.]
You want me to go with you.
[Not a question, but more confirming what was so obvious in Shindou's own voice.]
[It'd be perfect. is what he almost says, Shindou's voice striking him deep in his heart before those words can leave his lips. Compose yourself, Tsurugi. Breathe in, out, and answer.]
[He couldn't be happier right now than in this moment, he thinks. His chest feels light, and tight, at the same time. He's elated. He wants to laugh out loud and share with the world, and at the same time he wants to continue whispering and hold it close to his heart.]
See? You don't have to worry about it being our last year at all.
[Tsurugi couldn't help but feel the same. Whatever weight the end of Shindou's third year had on his heart was quickly unshackled, much like he'd felt when he'd been able to play soccer for himself. It was so strange, knowing that feeling was once foreign.
Now it's like an old friend coming back and lifting him up when he fell.
If Shindou wanted him to go to high school with him, he'd make it happen. That was all there was to it in his mind. He'd study, he'd bring up his test scores (not that they were all that bad), he'd find a way.]
No one will be surprised at it.
[His arms pull Shindou close once more, hand looking for the other boy's to lace their fingers together. It was amazing how soft Shindou's hands were, right down to the fingertips. Such a difference from his own calloused ones, worn down from Seed training and general lack-of-care.]
[And Shindou sinks readily into those arms, his hand fitting into Tsurugi's like it always belonged there. They lock together like two pieces of a jigsaw puzzle, Tsurugi's rough, calloused skin brushing up against his own. He's happy to weave his fingers through the other boy's, squeezing gently.]
That's right. I don't want us to be apart for long.
[There's something validating about hearing those words. He knew them, he objectively knew them. But to hear them in Shindou's voice, tone as warm as the brown colour of his hair, it strikes him right at his heart, cutting deeper into it in the best possible way.]
I'll make sure of it.
[This would be the perfect moment to break away, to go lie down somewhere together...but his eyes snap wide open at the soft snicker he hears under one of the blankets.]
[Shindou doesn't move. Not immediately. There's still a chance that Tsurugi misheard, or the sound came from someone who's talking in their sleep. That's it. That's totally feasible. No, that's got to be it, because even if he isn't ashamed of this relationship with Tsurugi -- not at all -- he would die if the team got wind of it and they started teasing them.
He speaks in a hushed voice muffled further by Tsurugi's shirt.]
[Tsurugi doesn't answer at first, but his hand moves around Shindou instinctively, looping around his shoulderblades and positioning his chin just over the boy's shoulder. He knew damn well Tenma was probably listening in, or at least had just started to.
But his comment had certainly gotten the boy's attention, and he knows the last thing Tenma would want is to upset their senpai.]
Mmm. Maybe I was just hearing things.
[A soft merciful warning to Matsukaze, if there ever was one.]
We should probably find somewhere more private, just in case.
[He's not ready to let go of Shindou just yet, despite how he can feel the edges of sleepiness creeping in.]
[His heart is pounding, once again, but this time for a different reason. It feels like back when he was younger, out playing with Kirino, and they came home later than they were supposed to. He'd gotten his white shirt dirty after they fell in a puddle chasing a soccer ball, and it'd been a trip trying to get to his room and change without getting caught by the head maid. To think he'll experience this feeling again...
The fingers of his free hand find the fabric of Tsurugi's shirt, curling around the material as he quiets his breathing and tries to listen for any more of the noise the other said he picked up. Any uneven breathing. Any voices.
He nuzzles into his shoulder again.] My room is down the hall...?
[Tsurugi's heart had skipped a couple beats as well, as if he'd gotten caught sneaking to the kitchen at night, or trying to tell Yuuichi he'd broken something of their mother's. His grip was not unlike Yuuichi's in those moments, arm around Shindou protectively, hand gripping gently but firmly against his back.
His feet take a step towards the hallway, turning them both so they can walk, but still keeping an eye on that sleeping bag.
Matsukaze Tenma, you're granted a freebie this time.]
Lead the way. It'll be nice to lie down and relax, anyway.
[Perhaps it's Shindou's ability to "see" and be aware of the field around him at all times. Or perhaps it's just the incredible amount of trust he had in Tsurugi. Probably a mix of both that allow him to walk alongside Tsurugi in the darkness of the room without either of them tripping over anything left on the floor, any stray limbs of their sleeping teammates, or even each other's feet. They make it to the hallway without a tumble.
From there, the trip to his room will be uninterrupted. Even the servants were asleep at this hour, especially during holidays if they stayed at all -- he knew his father allowed many of them to travel home for their own families -- so they wouldn't be caught. His own arm stays snaked around Tsurugi's back, holding on.]
It's this way.
[A door at the end of the hallway. Beyond it is a spacious room decorated in soft blue hues, though it's difficult to see with the lights off. Shindou keeps them that way, leading Tsurugi to the opposite side of the room where the bed is.]
[Tsurugi follows Shindou's instruction, much like he did on the field. Not just because this was his house, but because of his sharp eyes and strategic mind on the field that it became so natural to follow him. That arm slips around his back, and his hand grips more securely onto his shoulder in turn.
It doesn't take long for his eyes to adjust from the dark away from the TV, quickly finding the room at the end of the hall that Shindou was leading him to. Were this anything other than getting away from Matsukaze Tenma's little antics, he might have had nervous apprehensions about being in his boyfriends room. Alone.
But right now, that's all he wants. Somewhere away from the world and everyone just to sink into the one he and Shindou had made. Where it's just them. The room was spacious, inviting, with a piano in the corner and a couch to accompany it on one side, while the bed lay on the other. Following Shindou's direction, he heads for the bed, nestling his head against the boy's soft hair as they walk, unable to hide his smile.
This year was off to a good start, he can't help but muse.]
[In the silence of the hallway and his room, without the background noise of the television and the others to fill it, he's very aware of the little sounds they make as they move. Tsurugi's breathing, his own breathing, the swish of cloth as their clothes brush against each other, and the soft sound of their footsteps. They are truly by themselves now, and the space that they share is their own world, for them to share with nobody else.
Just them. Just Tsurugi's arms around him, just the press of his head on top of his, just his own snaked around him. Just them.
They both agreed that they would be busy with their rowdy teammates around, but if every moment by themselves could be like this, it would certainly be something well worth looking forward to. He smiles as well, turning now to bury his face into the front of Tsurugi's shirt.]
Thank you. We'll stay close together.
[The bed is definitely big enough for them both, at least. It's big enough for at least two more of them. The sheets are fresh and clean and soft, the blanket they crawl under just heavy enough to cocoon them comfortably in its warmth.]
[It was then that Tsurugi got to experience the one thing he'd never really thought about when it came to dating Shindou. A small, almost minuscule detail that went unnoticed until he experienced it right then, pulling Shindou close to his chest and sinking into the mattress of the bed provide.
Rich people have really soft, really comfortable beds.
His eyes widen as the cloth wraps around his back, letting them both sink into the blankets and pillows, the temptation of just falling asleep right there starting to creep into his body and soul. But Shindou on top of him provides a nicer distraction, nuzzling into that hair and wrapping his arms around the boy's body.
Soaking in that this was his now. That Tsurugi Kyousuke could have things like this. And WOULD have things like this.
He had no intentions of leaving this after middle school, after all. Not anymore.]
[Unaware of Tsurugi's sudden epiphany about the complimentary comfort that comes with dating someone from the Shindou family, the son of that family himself is snuggling readily under the covers and into his boyfriend's chest, happy to be enveloped by those strong arms and feel him nuzzling into his hair. His own arms snake around him, and soon they're lying on the bed tangled with each other. Despite the cold of the world outside, the bed is nothing but warm.]
[It's easier to sink into than he ever thought--both the mattress and Shindou's embrace. If you'd told him he'd be lying in this bed, arms securely around another boy...he'd have laughed on a good day, glared daggers on a bad one. But now it's all he can ask for, feeling Shindou's breath against his clothes, the softness of his hair, the smell of his shampoo as he buries his face into it...
Shindou could not have said it better.]
Yeah.
[His voice is gentle, almost a whisper, as his body instinctively settles into the mattress.]
[Any other day, comments implying that he is short (though he is shorter than Tsurugi) would've gotten about a minute of silence from Shindou, but today he feels merciful. He's warm, he's in his boyfriend's arms, and he's sure that if he tried to stay quiet for a whole minute right now he'd just fall asleep. His own voice is a murmur, a low hum, as he listens to Tsurugi's heart beat, feels his chest rise and fall with his breath.]
[He had to get a comment in there somewhere. As affectionate as it was, he loved the fact that he was taller than Shindou. It meant he got to feel his face press into his chest like this. He got to wrap his arms around him.
He got to watch Shindou's face relax into a peaceful smile as they lie there in the dark, letting sleep slowly take them. And the way Shindou whispers his name, as if it were a secret to just them in the darkness of his room...]
I'm happy, too. Strange...I thought I wasn't allowed to be, with everything that's happened in my life. But soccer has returned, my brother's getting therapy...
[To find security and comfort in the warmth of another and the wrap of them arms... that was not something Shindou experienced too often. Before he got into this relationship with Tsurugi, it had been a few years since he received it from even his parents.
No. That was inaccurate. It had been a few years since he sought it from his parents, let alone anybody else. He will eventually take over the Shindou business. He will eventually be the head of the family. As the "young master" of the house, as the guide and captain of Raimon Soccer, with so much expectation from those around him, he'd squared his shoulders to withstand the weight and convinced himself that he didn't feel any of it. If he sought comfort then, he was afraid he'd crumble.
Accepting Tsurugi's comfort like this did not make him crumble. In fact, it made him feel lighter, more secure. Stronger. When he hears him call his name, feels his chest rumble with that soft, deep voice, when he says that he's happy he thinks his own emotions might spill out of him in the form of tears, and he buries himself against him, holding him close.]
You're allowed, Kyousuke. You deserve every good thing that's happened to you, and will happen to you. I'm glad that you're happy. I'll make sure that you stay happy.
[It wasn't until he fell onto that bed, letting the mattress sink across his back and envelope them in blankets that he realized just what this all was. Shindou had so much expected of him. His family was wealthy, even a blind person would see that. But the boy was going to inherit this, he was going to take over the Shindou group. He was going to grow up and shine the way his parents would always want him to. It's something that causes his eyes to open, staring straight at the ceiling as he thinks about himself.
Shindou chose him.
A family that fell into darkness and found its way to the light once more, with tired parents, a hopeful brother, and a boy who just wanted to make everything right. It was then he decided....He wouldn't be that nobody person. He would work hard and get grades suitable for Shindou's high school, follow him, become something amazing so that he could be everything he possibly could for this boy.
I'll make sure that you stay happy.
Words that make him pull Shindou a little closer, lips brushing against the top of the boy's head.]
[The answer, though spoken in a faint voice that's only audible due to the silence of the room -- Shindou's room was an especially quiet one in the house, the walls soundproofed to keep the piano's sound in -- is immediate, steady, and uttered without a drop of doubt or hesitation. Shindou's voice is like a the flame of a sweetly scented candle, a warmth just for the boy that is closest to him.]
As the son of the Shindou Group's chairman... as the next heir to the Shindou family, I've had many people around me. I've been cared for, and I've been cherished. I'm grateful for everybody who's raised me thus far.
But you see me, for me. My family, my future, and the role I'll eventually accept -- you've seen past it, to the individual Shindou Takuto. If you'd stay by me and keep an eye on me so I stay myself, then I'll have all the happiness in the world I could ever ask for.
[His heart swells at that sentence, words breaking him free of shackles he thought he'd long shed. Maybe it was newfound love, maybe he'd just never felt this type of affection from anyone other than his family. But it lifted him up, enough that he almost doubted he was still on the bed, his exhale ironically breathless. He'd grant Shindou's wish--he'd never leave his side no matter what, and he'd swear to protect him.
But before he can speak, Shindou continues, and the he listens, eyes fixated on the ceiling and tracing every detail he can find. Memorizing the room just like he'd memorized Shindou's voice. He bites his lip at Shindou's words, the bubbling fear that he won't be enough settled some by the soft tone, sweet and mellow like tea with honey.]
Takuto.
[He's truly touched by all of it...those words are exactly what he wanted to hear. That whatever he can give Shindou is enough, and even more than that.]
You're the one who saw past everything I'd done. You're the one who accepted me. You were the one who agreed with Tenma to let me join the team again.
It's because it's you that I can devote myself like this.
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IF anything happened after high school.
The same school as him. A smile presses against that head, easily felt against Shindou's jawline as he continues to cradle him in his arms.]
I'd like that.
...
But I doubt I could get in. [A more realist statement than a self-depreciating one. After all...Tsurugi was a good student in the books, but probably not one people would hash out recommendations for with how he dressed.
What's a Raimon uniform and does it bite.]
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You give yourself a lot less credit than you deserve. Any school you put your mind to will be happy to have you.
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[It takes him a minute to fully process what Shindou is implying. He was about to protest again, saying that the kind of schools Shindou would apply to would be out of his league--he's sure Shindou's parents would want him to go somewhere prestigious right?
At least, that was his thought pattern, until the more obvious reason rings clear. He bites his lip, thinking it over.]
You want me to go with you.
[Not a question, but more confirming what was so obvious in Shindou's own voice.]
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[The smile on his face, in the cool light of the television, is still warm. Playful. Hopeful.]
I think it would be nice. What do you think?
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[It'd be perfect. is what he almost says, Shindou's voice striking him deep in his heart before those words can leave his lips. Compose yourself, Tsurugi. Breathe in, out, and answer.]
I'd do whatever it took to follow you.
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[He couldn't be happier right now than in this moment, he thinks. His chest feels light, and tight, at the same time. He's elated. He wants to laugh out loud and share with the world, and at the same time he wants to continue whispering and hold it close to his heart.]
See? You don't have to worry about it being our last year at all.
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Now it's like an old friend coming back and lifting him up when he fell.
If Shindou wanted him to go to high school with him, he'd make it happen. That was all there was to it in his mind. He'd study, he'd bring up his test scores (not that they were all that bad), he'd find a way.]
No one will be surprised at it.
[His arms pull Shindou close once more, hand looking for the other boy's to lace their fingers together. It was amazing how soft Shindou's hands were, right down to the fingertips. Such a difference from his own calloused ones, worn down from Seed training and general lack-of-care.]
A Knight can't leave his Prince waiting.
Right?
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That's right. I don't want us to be apart for long.
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I'll make sure of it.
[This would be the perfect moment to break away, to go lie down somewhere together...but his eyes snap wide open at the soft snicker he hears under one of the blankets.]
Funny, I thought I heard Tenma just now.
[Clearly loud enough that the offender can hear.]
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[Shindou doesn't move. Not immediately. There's still a chance that Tsurugi misheard, or the sound came from someone who's talking in their sleep. That's it. That's totally feasible. No, that's got to be it, because even if he isn't ashamed of this relationship with Tsurugi -- not at all -- he would die if the team got wind of it and they started teasing them.
He speaks in a hushed voice muffled further by Tsurugi's shirt.]
Really?
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But his comment had certainly gotten the boy's attention, and he knows the last thing Tenma would want is to upset their senpai.]
Mmm. Maybe I was just hearing things.
[A soft merciful warning to Matsukaze, if there ever was one.]
We should probably find somewhere more private, just in case.
[He's not ready to let go of Shindou just yet, despite how he can feel the edges of sleepiness creeping in.]
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The fingers of his free hand find the fabric of Tsurugi's shirt, curling around the material as he quiets his breathing and tries to listen for any more of the noise the other said he picked up. Any uneven breathing. Any voices.
He nuzzles into his shoulder again.] My room is down the hall...?
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His feet take a step towards the hallway, turning them both so they can walk, but still keeping an eye on that sleeping bag.
Matsukaze Tenma, you're granted a freebie this time.]
Lead the way. It'll be nice to lie down and relax, anyway.
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From there, the trip to his room will be uninterrupted. Even the servants were asleep at this hour, especially during holidays if they stayed at all -- he knew his father allowed many of them to travel home for their own families -- so they wouldn't be caught. His own arm stays snaked around Tsurugi's back, holding on.]
It's this way.
[A door at the end of the hallway. Beyond it is a spacious room decorated in soft blue hues, though it's difficult to see with the lights off. Shindou keeps them that way, leading Tsurugi to the opposite side of the room where the bed is.]
It should be big enough for both of us.
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It doesn't take long for his eyes to adjust from the dark away from the TV, quickly finding the room at the end of the hall that Shindou was leading him to. Were this anything other than getting away from Matsukaze Tenma's little antics, he might have had nervous apprehensions about being in his boyfriends room. Alone.
But right now, that's all he wants. Somewhere away from the world and everyone just to sink into the one he and Shindou had made. Where it's just them. The room was spacious, inviting, with a piano in the corner and a couch to accompany it on one side, while the bed lay on the other. Following Shindou's direction, he heads for the bed, nestling his head against the boy's soft hair as they walk, unable to hide his smile.
This year was off to a good start, he can't help but muse.]
I'll make sure you don't fall off.
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Just them. Just Tsurugi's arms around him, just the press of his head on top of his, just his own snaked around him. Just them.
They both agreed that they would be busy with their rowdy teammates around, but if every moment by themselves could be like this, it would certainly be something well worth looking forward to. He smiles as well, turning now to bury his face into the front of Tsurugi's shirt.]
Thank you. We'll stay close together.
[The bed is definitely big enough for them both, at least. It's big enough for at least two more of them. The sheets are fresh and clean and soft, the blanket they crawl under just heavy enough to cocoon them comfortably in its warmth.]
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Rich people have really soft, really comfortable beds.
His eyes widen as the cloth wraps around his back, letting them both sink into the blankets and pillows, the temptation of just falling asleep right there starting to creep into his body and soul. But Shindou on top of him provides a nicer distraction, nuzzling into that hair and wrapping his arms around the boy's body.
Soaking in that this was his now. That Tsurugi Kyousuke could have things like this. And WOULD have things like this.
He had no intentions of leaving this after middle school, after all. Not anymore.]
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I could get used to this.
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Shindou could not have said it better.]
Yeah.
[His voice is gentle, almost a whisper, as his body instinctively settles into the mattress.]
You fit perfectly.
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[Any other day, comments implying that he is short (though he is shorter than Tsurugi) would've gotten about a minute of silence from Shindou, but today he feels merciful. He's warm, he's in his boyfriend's arms, and he's sure that if he tried to stay quiet for a whole minute right now he'd just fall asleep. His own voice is a murmur, a low hum, as he listens to Tsurugi's heart beat, feels his chest rise and fall with his breath.]
... Kyousuke. I'm happy that you're with me.
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He got to watch Shindou's face relax into a peaceful smile as they lie there in the dark, letting sleep slowly take them. And the way Shindou whispers his name, as if it were a secret to just them in the darkness of his room...]
I'm happy, too. Strange...I thought I wasn't allowed to be, with everything that's happened in my life. But soccer has returned, my brother's getting therapy...
And I have you, Takuto.
I'm truly happy.
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No. That was inaccurate. It had been a few years since he sought it from his parents, let alone anybody else. He will eventually take over the Shindou business. He will eventually be the head of the family. As the "young master" of the house, as the guide and captain of Raimon Soccer, with so much expectation from those around him, he'd squared his shoulders to withstand the weight and convinced himself that he didn't feel any of it. If he sought comfort then, he was afraid he'd crumble.
Accepting Tsurugi's comfort like this did not make him crumble. In fact, it made him feel lighter, more secure. Stronger. When he hears him call his name, feels his chest rumble with that soft, deep voice, when he says that he's happy he thinks his own emotions might spill out of him in the form of tears, and he buries himself against him, holding him close.]
You're allowed, Kyousuke. You deserve every good thing that's happened to you, and will happen to you. I'm glad that you're happy. I'll make sure that you stay happy.
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Shindou chose him.
A family that fell into darkness and found its way to the light once more, with tired parents, a hopeful brother, and a boy who just wanted to make everything right. It was then he decided....He wouldn't be that nobody person. He would work hard and get grades suitable for Shindou's high school, follow him, become something amazing so that he could be everything he possibly could for this boy.
I'll make sure that you stay happy.
Words that make him pull Shindou a little closer, lips brushing against the top of the boy's head.]
I'll do the same.
Whatever it is you want, I'll do my best for you.
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[The answer, though spoken in a faint voice that's only audible due to the silence of the room -- Shindou's room was an especially quiet one in the house, the walls soundproofed to keep the piano's sound in -- is immediate, steady, and uttered without a drop of doubt or hesitation. Shindou's voice is like a the flame of a sweetly scented candle, a warmth just for the boy that is closest to him.]
As the son of the Shindou Group's chairman... as the next heir to the Shindou family, I've had many people around me. I've been cared for, and I've been cherished. I'm grateful for everybody who's raised me thus far.
But you see me, for me. My family, my future, and the role I'll eventually accept -- you've seen past it, to the individual Shindou Takuto. If you'd stay by me and keep an eye on me so I stay myself, then I'll have all the happiness in the world I could ever ask for.
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But before he can speak, Shindou continues, and the he listens, eyes fixated on the ceiling and tracing every detail he can find. Memorizing the room just like he'd memorized Shindou's voice. He bites his lip at Shindou's words, the bubbling fear that he won't be enough settled some by the soft tone, sweet and mellow like tea with honey.]
Takuto.
[He's truly touched by all of it...those words are exactly what he wanted to hear. That whatever he can give Shindou is enough, and even more than that.]
You're the one who saw past everything I'd done. You're the one who accepted me. You were the one who agreed with Tenma to let me join the team again.
It's because it's you that I can devote myself like this.
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